Ladies, would you consider a guy in this situation as "marriage-quality"?

Question

- Served 8 years in the military
- Now living with his parents so he can attend college...
- Could easily get a job earning at least 50,0000/yr., but is instead pursuing his education in Philosophy (starting toward Bachelor's, seeking PhD).

(Will answer more questions, if asked =)

Correction:

- $50K a year. =]

Why not working while at college?
- As full-time student, would only be able to work part time.

And is he achieving well so far?
4.0 GPA

Does he drive?
Holds title to his own car

Kind/thoughtful/loving/responsible?
This is a good question for candidacy, but and is one I don't think is a problem, but I'd prefer to leave that one for her to decide. =]

cooks?
Well, sure but is this really a deal-breaker? :P

Any baggage?
I wouldn't think so... just the unusual circumstance of having been overseas for those 8 years, and just now going back to school. =]


Do you expect your wife to pay all? It's 50/50 not 80/20.
Actually, I think it works best when effort is 100/100. =)

Who's paying for school?
I am. GI bill covers $46,000 in tuition and fees. Home state covers additional 150 credit hrs.

Financial concerns?
None.. no debts. I am concerned about not being the breadwinner at this time... it's a matter of pride for me to be able to provide... though under the current circumstances, I am making kind of a sacrifice for pursuing my dreams...

Why JUST the car title? where's the car?
Right now? In the middle of the Pacific being shipped to me from overseas. :P

Did you loose any limbs whilst in the military?
No. Limbs intact :P

Are mom and dad taking any kind of prescriptions?
.... ?

What college or university are you going to?
One ranking 11th in the nation for their Philosophy program. =)

Any kids with other women?
I *guarantee* I've not fathered any kids. :P


Any siblings staying with mom and dad?
No.

How old are you?
Suppose I'm within "range". :P

Ruby D, Thank you for your response... Yes, I do want to become a professor, though I fully understand the risk of not being able to find tenure-track work in academia. And this is precisely why this is such a heavy question for me. Secondary option could be working for government/social institutions... or I could always go back to doing what I've done in the military.. earning about 50K/yr. But I've at least got to try, or I'll never know if I could have made it or not. =]

Diane S, you sound lovely. :)

Answer 1

Probably after he finishes his studies, then he'll have time & a job to offer a wife.

Answer 2

Why philosophy? I think that you would HAVE to get your PhD (you'd be in school for at least 8-10 years!!) because the only thing I can see one doing with a philosophy degree is being a professor. How old are you?

As for marriage quality, it depends on the girl, I suppose. I married my husband...he was living with me on a very tight budget and making money teaching 1st year university courses (very meager) while he was obtaining his Masters in History. He is not doing anything in that field. He had planned to go do his PhD because he really wanted to be a professor and he would've been GREAT! But, the money was an issue. He needed to get a job, he didn't have money to continue his studies, and now we have mortgage, student loans and other bills that just seem to get in the way of everything else. So I think being very prudent and discerning of what discipline you want to get into and for what reasons is very important. If you want to do this truly, then worrying about "is it marrying-kind material" should be the least of your worries, unless going to school is a way to try and attract a "marrying-kind" of the opposite sex. Then you should REALLY give your decision some thought.

Answer 3

Overall sounds like he has his act together...now if he is seeking someone who can support his educational goals by working and supporting both of them...this might be a bit of a problem as this can be a strain in itself particularly during the first few years.

Other than that the only thing I could see that might improve this somewhat is if the fellow was able to pursue his education but also perhaps grab a part time position somewhere.

I was the sole income earner while my husband returned to school but for us it wasn't a big deal as we've been married a loooong time :) and I know he would have done it for me as well, as a matter of fact he likely will be next year when I complete the final stage of my Masters in Fine Arts :)

Good luck

Answer 4

Why isn't he working whilst at college?
And is he achieving well so far?
Does he drive?

Thanks for answering the questions - I apologise for taking so long to get back to you. On paper, you sound like a lovely bloke who would have no trouble finding a long-term partner. Of course, there is always the question of chemistry and attractiction, but I think you'll do very well! Good luck, and make sure you find a lady who appreciates how special you are :)

Answer 5

Short answer, as long as you don't have some crazy baggage that you are not mentioning--definitely. I'm sure a lot of girls would think you are a catch. Good for you for going back to get your education. That is more important than just taking any job to make money. In the end, it will all be worth it. Good luck!

Answer 6

Dude, you're being too serious too fast. Don't approach girls like you're trying to take a military objective. You need to just meet someone and like them, and get them to like you. Bring up the marriage part after you lay the "we like each other" groundwork. This sort of thing is a strategic, not tactical, situation, and diplomacy is called for before extreme measures are put in place. If you get her to like you, she will be with you regardless of the live-at-home school stuff.

By the way - philosophy??? I hope you aren't paying too much for that degree. I bet all of your professors will work overtime trying to make you out as a bad person for being in the military.

Answer 7

Definitely

Answer 8

Well not at present first off u are planning to go back to school that would be a financial set back for any married couple .That is not to say not to pursue it go ahead and do so any good woman will wait

Answer 9

Did you mean 50,000 or 500,000?
Did you loose any limbs or organs whilst in the military?
Are mom and dad taking any kind of prescriptions?
What college or university are you going to?
Any kids with other women? or Child Support payments?
Apartment or Mansion/Bungalow?
Any siblings staying with mom and dad?
How old are you?
What occupation is mom and dad?

Answer 10

yes and no, I want my man to be totally independent before we get married.Having his own place is important. It shows that they don't need mom and dad to rely on. it's great you are going to college but you also need a job to pay bills. Do you expect your wife to pay all? It's 50/50 not 80/20.

Answer 11

keep going...you are doing good so far but for a really honest answer about you being marriage quality, there are some other stats needed....do you like to kiss...really kiss....are you romantic.....would you consider a wife to be a life partner....with a 50/50 stake and say in everything....would you share all your dreams, desires, wants, needs, thoughts, with this partner....would you be faithful always......would you make sure that you romanced her continually.....would you bathe her at night, wash her hair, shave her legs........make love to her whenever she wanted or needed you.......would you dance with her without music.....would you cry if she were unhappy.....would it break your heart if her heart was broken.....answer these questions and I will tell you if you are marriage quality......;-)