How do you work with the other woman?

Question

my husband's best friend and my mutual friend is a woman. Her husband is also a close friend. He has started to hang out with a woman of, uh, loose morals. They are "just friends" and everytime she calls, the husband goes out with her. He always asks his wife if she would like to go, but she always refuses. She refuses because she wants him to realize on his own that what he is doing is hurting her. He knows that his wife does not care for his friend, yet he continues to see her. So, my question is....I know this is none of my buisness, but I work with the other woman. I avoid her, I avert eye contact, I only speak with her if I have to and am polite when I do so. Today, when I got change for her drawer, they came up short and she accused me of short changing. The safe was even, so the error was on her, but I still ran into the office and told my fellow manager that she was a ghonaherpasyphalaids infested whore. How do i work with the other woman and be profesional?

well, no, i lost my cool because i had someone that i don't care for accuse me of either a.) stealing or b.) being a moron.

only told the back story so that you would understand why I dislike her. I can't tell my friends how to live their lives, they need to figure that out on thier own. I don't like to tell people how to live thier lives, and besides, he knows she doesn't like it and she knoes he doesn't care. what's left to tell but my opinion, and how would that help?

I am positive that there has been no sexual contact. But it is a lack of respect for his wife who has told him, and yes she has, that she doesn't like her and that she doesn't like him going out with her. She just doesn't want to be the woman that has a husband that is only doing somehting because his wife said so. She is trying to respect him and his wishes, hoping that he will respect hers.

I just want to know how the hell I'm supposed to keep my cool around someone that should be scraping off my shoe

Answer 1

You really don't have much of a choice here. My advice is to continue to be the person your friend (and her philandering husband) needs you to be. The problem doesn't lie with the "other woman", it's with the husband....and it's your friend's problem, as you seem to know.

You have to work with this person, so continue to avoid her...ignore her...and do your job as you have been doing. Venting to the unknown masses on Yahoo should do the trick to alleviate your stress.

OR......you could have fun with this and "kill her with kindness"...that would really make her nervous. Ha Ha Good Luck!

Answer 2

first of all...
you don't know that the husband and this 'Lolita' have done anything wrong.
you friend...*pardon my bluntness* is CRAZY if she thinks that a man will understand FEMALE subtle hints.
lemme break it down.

he asks her to come with them, she says no, and doesn't fuss when he goes out.
the husband thinks: "well i guess she really doesn't like her, BUT she doesn't mind me hanging out with her, after all her best friend is a GUY why shouldn't mine be a girl?:...otherwise she would make a fuss."

while your friend is hoping that somehow on his own..without COMMUNICATION he will figure out on his own just how upset and hurt she is?

men don't think that way.
the don't DO subtly. you tell them like it is. BLUNTLY. you don't beat around the bush. and this is why...because your friend wont confront her husband head on, she continues to be hurt.

if I'm stepping on your toes, but you want me to 'figure out' I'm hurting your toes on my own because you think i should just "know" that they are there...you'd be waiting a long time.
capiche?


as for YOUR part in all this?

your personal opinions have NO BUSINESS in the work place.
i was a manager in a retail store for years. had an employee i hated with every fiber of my being. BUT that girl worked her @ss off!
i might not have liked her as a person, but i worked with her. and put a smile on my face too. it's not your place to do or say anything about what she did/or wants to do with your friends husband.
(not AT the work place anyway)...
be the bigger person. if she wants to act like a 12 yr old, let her. don't fuel the fire by giving in to her BS.

Answer 3

So far you are not doing the professional part very well.
Be a grown up! Treat her as another employee - do not dwell on anything about her personal life.

Answer 4

I think you're doing fine, and I LOVE your reaction.

Okay, in all seriousness, ask your friend, you husband, or your friend's husband.

They probably know her a lot better than I do.

Answer 5

be civil and mature when people see that your the better person she will feel ashamed...you friend should tell her husband that she doesn't approve of his hanging out ...sometimes guys don't get these things

Answer 6

I know this would seem RIDICULOUS to you, but since she has NOTHING to do with you---be nice to her--you may find she is a nice person--JUST LIKE YOU.

Answer 7

confront the slut