2006-12-14 11:53:50 · 13 answers · asked by hot single mom 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Perhaps you are a 'helper'...you feel like you need to help anyone in need and that others thoughts and feelings come before your own. Usually, I think, this is because of two things. One is that the person is genuinely a really good person, doesn't like to see people in pain or suffering and wants to help...very very good reasons. The other reason, I think, is because it is much easier and safer to focus on how others are feeling. It makes it so you never have to think about how you are feeling. Perhaps you put others thoughts and feelings before your own, and then resent it later. It's hard to tell people no, but they will not reject you as a person. People may get disapointed when you say no, but they will still love you. Maybe you feel like if you disapoint them or tell them you can't help, that they will reject you completely. If that's the case, I would focus more on yourslef (why you have these feelings, etc) and learn things you can say so that you don't feel used by others. Also, if you can find a job or volunteer or something that gives you the opportuinty to 'help' (a very good thing) then maybe you would feel better about telling people no.
2006-12-14 13:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by prekinpdx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you have low, low, low self-esteem. You were also likely raised to be a "pleaser" within the family unit. You put others ahead of your own needs and wants. While there is nothing wrong with that, it should be done in moderation and with a sense of yourself. When you constantly put yourself last, that just makes you a doormat.
Break the cycle and take a stand for what is important to you and weigh carefully how much you give of yourself to others. If you give and give and get nothing in return, you'll spend the rest of your life feeling hollow and alone.
2006-12-14 12:15:39 · answer #2 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because you are too nice, maybe you just want attention and that gives it to you, maybe you keep hoping things will change by what you do, say you sleep with a guy you hope he will stay and love you but it doesn't happen. You're looking for the wrong person in the wrong circumstance most likely. You have to change yourself, your expectations before your life will change.
2006-12-14 11:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Tina of Lymphland.com 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm coming in late on this one...I think that we initially try to see the good in people and get caught by the ones that come in under the radar. when I get burned I tell myself that I'll wait to hold judgment on someone until I get them figured out, you know, kinda don't let them in. That line of thinking last for a little while then I'll let my defenses down. does that sound familiar? I'm sure that you are a good person that just wants to be helpful and a good friend/girlfriend and you just don't see it coming. Don't be hard on yourself, be hard on them. After all they're the users, right?
2006-12-15 23:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by Reagan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Low self-confidence. You're amazing, otherwise people wouldn't be wanting you and trying to use you. Stand up for yourself and do things just for you. Be selfish for once. Don't start getting walked on because after a while, it's hard to get back up.
2006-12-14 12:03:42 · answer #5 · answered by txaggie2514 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look back in your past. Something must have happened to you. Or you are being too friendly. Don't allow people to take advantage of you.
2006-12-14 12:01:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually as women we tend to want to feel wanted by men. Sometimes we let our self-esteem comes to play which may be low at the time. It s so many reasons why we do this to ourselves.
2006-12-14 11:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by sassylady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are co-dependent and want to find the good in people maybe as a child you didn't get love and attention and know you are searching for it and only way to break cycle get counseling learn how to have positive relationships
2006-12-14 14:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by theessenceofrose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think because sometimes humans have the tendency to know things and to obsevre and know that they are suffering and being used yet they don't do anything about it. I think those that use you and you know about it, stay away from those people. Surround ureself with good hearted and goos natured people. good luck!
2006-12-14 11:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You like to feel important, needed. It is an addictive cycle
2006-12-14 13:14:46 · answer #10 · answered by Together 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋