How do I talk to someone that cuts herself with out making it worse please help?

Question

My sister is been thrue a lot and recently she started cutting her hands and wrist. I want to tell her that she cant think about herself she has to think about her son whose only 5 and hes feelings and how lonely he feels when she has to be in the hospital for a whole week. and this proably affecting him more than anyone. I hate feeling like im walking on thin ice when I call the hospital to talk to her. I just want to tell her but I dont knowIf I will make it worse. Please help. it breaks my heart to hear my nephew cry to me on the phone telling me he wants to spend time with me cus his mom is not home even thought his with his stepdad. Please give me serious adcive.thanks

Answer 1

There is more than one possible reason why your sister is cutting herself. There is no way to be exactly sure without talking to your sister. The cutting may be directed at intentionaly trying to harm herself, she could find it a stress relieving technique, if she is depressed she may feel so numb that cutting helps her feel something instead of nothing or it could be more of an emotional release for some very intense emotions and pain. Some people may even feel that they have to cut themselves to valid a need to cry.

I have a feeling it is very difficult for your sister to decide between the need to cut (it can be a very powerful need) and her son's feelings. Like I said a lot depends on the reasons for her cutting herself. There are options that can help her to stop cutting. I used to be a cutter. I was not able to completly over come the need sometimes I still give in, but most of the time I pull my hair now. After realizing that this was not such a great thing either I told my doc who adjusted my meds.

The best advise I can give you for helping your sister is to listen to anything that she has to say. Do not judge her. Giving her too much advise may not be wise either. The only advise I think that you should give is to seek professional help. Say something like "a think that a therapist can give you more insight than I can". You may want to suggest this multiple times but without trying to force the issue. In the end it has to be her decission. Don't tell her too much about what she is missing while in the hospital, especialy about her son. This could make her feel even worse.

I wish you and your sister luck. Even if she starts to get help remember that everyone experiences set back and to hang in there.

Answer 2

Cutting is a problem caused by imbalances in certain brain chemicals. The cutter does it to release endorphins (your brain's natural pain killers) which make them feel better temporarily. It is not "in her head" and cannot be "talked away," although there is a psychological component that can be helped with therapy.

You need to get her to a psychiatrist who can prescribe the correct anti-depressants, and a nutritionist who can make sure she is eating enough/properly to support healthy brain function.

Even if she resists, you have to be strong and if necessary, physically force her to the doctor. She can't see a way out of it right now but once she gets treatment, she'll wonder how she ever got to that point.

God bless you and best of luck!

Answer 3

I assume she is in the psych ward of the hospital. She is probably feeling bad enough about what she did. I would not say anything to your sister. and try to spend as much time as possible with your nephew. Explain that his mom is getting help that she needs. and she will be home soon.

Answer 4

She needs therapy, a psychiatrist to help her understand what is happening to her, to her family, and why she is doing it. Chemical imbalances can make people do that, but it's also a need within them, a cry for attention, a way to get bad things out of their system, a way by hurting themselves they feel better, it's a vicious cycle.

I would talk to her, you need to, you need to know you tried your best with her and open your heart to her. Ask her "do you know what you have been doing?" ask her why she thinks she does it and does she realize how it hurts her son? then offer to help her get into treatment, go with her if she wants, and it would be a good idea to include the son and her hubby too, you need to work together as a team for her to get better.

Answer 5

Call her up sweetie, you will never make it worst~I will pray for your family~Really~And to your nephew just keep talking to him but change the conversation a bit try talking to him about other stuff, like what he ate or did through the day~
Something else is going on with sister that only God and her know about~

Answer 6

I wish I had a majic answer for you. On thing she needs to understand is that if child protection gets wind of it, she may lose her child anyway. You can only support her, she needs to help herself. Have you ever thought about an intervention? Stay strong and stay close to look for signs she is getting worse. If she does you must take away her control and force her to get help. Call in the troops and get all of her family involved. My prayers are with her to get strong.

Answer 7

Tell her that you know that she is going through a very difficult time even though you don't understand it, but that she still has to think of her son. She must not be selfish and seek a professional for her son. If she really loves her son she should do it.

Answer 8

She just needs someone to talk to. Make sure she knows you are there for her when she needs you. I would advise her to speak to her doctor, who can run tests to see if she requires any medication.

Most importantly, please DON'T tell her you are angry or disappointed with her when she cuts herself. This is NOT what she needs to hear. If she confesses to you that she has slipped up and cut again, she needs comfort and support. Assure her that she needn't feel bad about slipping up, that you will be there to support her no matter what and you love her. Don't make her feel bad about herself, she feels cr*p enough as it is.

Answer 9

why don't you call her up hun that is the best thing to do. also try asking her why she does that maybe she is just going crazy in her head or something really bad has happen in the present. good luck

Answer 10

She needs to get some psychiatric help and soon. You need to tell her how much she is hurting you and your family, especially her son.
Good Luck!