what do i do??

Question

im 18
my boyfriend tells me to promise
him that im going to be with him for the rest of my live
but i dont wanna do that
cuz i dont know maybe in 10 years we wont be together
who knows
and when i tell him i cant promise him that he gets mad
i really do like him alot but i cant promise that
but i dont wanna leave him

what can i do??

Answer 1

Your far too young for those kinds of "Head games".Tell him to chill,sounds like he is a very insecure, jealous individual.I'm not trying to scare you but he sounds "very scarey". Be very careful how you approach that.Tell him how you truly feel about him and tell him that if he continues to pressure you it will more than likely affect your relationship in a negative way, and that you don't want to see that happen ,so lets just take it one day at a time.

Answer 2

Just explain to him all of the reasons why you don't feel comfortable promising him that. Tell him also that you really care for him and that is why you don't want to make promises to him about a future that is very much unpredictable by nature. Explain to him that it doesn't mean you don't love him it's just that you don't feel comfortable promising a lifetime when you're still so young. Truthfully you are being realistic and he is living in a fantasy world. It's what happens with young loves. Kudos to you though for being sensible. Maybe you can tell him that you can't promise him forever because it would be unfair for either of you to try an predict your futures at 18 but that you can promise him a long time or even a very long time. But let's face it forever doesn't really exist anyway... well at least until your married and you can pretend forever exists.

Answer 3

I wish my ex was like you. She promissed me a lot if things and she still can't stop telling me what I want to hear even though its not true. Be honest with him even though it might hurt. I would rather know how you really feel than to live a lie. On the other hand I was alway really blunt with her and I would tell her that I was not sure if we would be together in 10 years. Eventually it took its toll and it pushed her away. I eventually realized that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but it was too late. All the times I told her that I was not sure pushed her away and she thought I was not serious with her. Its hard to say. On one hand you want to be honest and not promise something you are not sure off, and on the other hand you do not want to push him way and then later find out he is what you wanted the whole time. I would probably still be honest but try to be as nice as possible. Make sure that he still feels apreciated. Make sure that he know that for the moment he is exactly what you want. Good luck. This relationship stuff could be really stressfull.

Answer 4

Hi. I think you have answered your own question here. You like him, but you do not love him. You are young, so that's understandable! You cant be expected to committ yet, expecially if you havent really experienced that kind of relationship where you have mutual trust, love, understanding, shared values and both desire committment.

The only diservice you are doing yourself, I think, is your unwillingness to let him go. If you dont let him go, you will never find anyone else.

Good luck. Remember, you deserve a good relationship. What does that mean to you?

Answer 5

Just explain to him, that you're a person that doesn't break promises. And you're not sure of what you want in the future. So you're not going to promise your heart to him if someone else captures it. Afterall, you don't have your future plans on written paper. And, I'm sure you don't want to make a promise, and end up hurting him or yourself.

Answer 6

Tell him you're both still young, and life can change. You just don't know if you can make that promise yet. You love him, and you want give it a shot, and hopefully you will be together, but you're just can see that far ahead yet. Tell him to be patient, and if it's meant to be, it will be, but he can't force a commitment like that.

Answer 7

U just told him that nobody can promise what will happen in the future.That no use to promise this or that.I think he just want to cheat u.He need to have something from u.U know?Don't be trap by him.Take care yourself girl.Bye now.

Answer 8

Just promise the guy, he is use to being lied to anyway. In 10 years, if you break up it who will care!
Stay cool

Answer 9

Don't promise, tell him that you are with him now and you need to see what the future holds for you two.

Answer 10

You should break it off with him. He sounds rather unstable.

A second choice would be to talk to him about getting help for his abandonment issues.

It seems like he really needs help from a professional.