temper tantrums in public?

Question

my 3 year old loves to embarrass me by throwing fits whenever i venture out with him. but what bothers me more is the reaction i get from others when he does it. okay i know its annoying, but he is a child! am i wrong by getting upset with their reactions? one time at the grocery store this old lady told him to shut the hell up and instead of ignoring her, i proceeded to tell her off. at that point my nerves were shot. i know the majority of these people have kids themselves so they know how kids are. if i saw a fellow mother in my position, i would offer my sympathy to her! am i wrong for getting offended at others for the way they act towards my little boy? he can't help it, he's hyperactive.

Answer 1

I would just ask that woman if she has ever had children, because apparently she hasnt. My son throws temper tantrums when I wont let him go where he wants to. He threw one in the mall the other day and luckily we were in the corner of the store where the bathrooms were so there werent too many people, but the ones that were walking by were staring. I would think that most would realize that kids do that. But I cant stand when you hear someone say, I would beat that kids butt...Well if you do then you'll hear someone yelling child abuse..lol. So with a child that throws a tantrum you just have to deal with it how you can at the time and others should understand that. I totally understand when I see a parent with a child doing that and I feel for them, but to let them know its ok and I understand , I will just usually smile at them or say I understand to them. That way they hopefully wont feel like they are the only one. Its stressful. I have 3 hyper boys and a daughter on the way, So going out is extremely stressful

Answer 2

i have a 2 year old that throws them too! What i do to handle the tantrums is either take them to the bathroom and sit with them in a stall until she is done or take her to the car and do the same thing. Remove the audience and you get rid of the temper tantrum. I have also put her in a corner and made her stand there until she was done with the temper.
I hate the way people look at you when your child is throwing a temper. i always think you have kids, you know what I'm going through so quit staring at me. before i had children i didn't understand why these 'bad' parents didn't take control of their kids, but now that i have a child of my own, i know how they feel and can empathize.

Answer 3

I'm sure that it is embarrassing. I don't have any children yet so I don't have any experience with this but I do remember my mom telling me about one time when my mom, dad and I were in a grocery store and I threw a temper tantrum and my mom took me out of the store and took me to the car and she told me that if I ever did that again that she wouldn't take me to the grocery store anymore. So a good idea is whenever he throws a temper tantrum is to very calmly take him out of the store or wherever and keep telling him that what he's doing is uncalled for and if you can't get him to stop then don't take him anywhere for a while and he'll eventually grow out of it.

Answer 4

Temper tantrums are normal in young children. They are learning to deal with their emotions. They are actually learning a lot by your response to a tantrum.
Try not to take a tired, hungry child into a store or mall. It is only asking for trouble. But if you can't help it, and they have a tantrum, what can you do? Get in and get out. The heck with the old biddies who act like they had perfect little angels!!!!

Answer 5

Well, I'd get upset if someone told my kids to shut up, but I'm usually way ahead of any strangers. I do try to offer my support to other mothers, but usually to head off the abuse I see when mom's get embarrassed. My kids were all trained by age three to not throw temper tantrums precisely like this. One word and we left. I left the cart right where it was and walked out the door carrying him. He's young enough to choose an action based solely on it's effect on you, he's old enough to take the consequence for said action. He can too help it, if he 'loves to embarrass' you.

One suggestion from Love & Logic that I love and actually used once when I had more than one child to consider, was to have a backup. Someone who could be 'on call' and waiting for you. You have to plan on going out shopping and really hope your child screws up. You give your child one chance..."If you try to embarrass me I will call Aunt Sandy to take you home to continue your tantrum" My handy dandy cell phone had her number already pulled up, and when she turned the corner he was shocked. She took him home in her car, where she put him in his room and told him to finish his fit. He was so surprised he couldn't.

Answer 6

Don't get mad at them, it's up to you to control your child. I've found that crying right back startles them so much they stop. Also one thing I tried that worked great, tell them in a nice calm voice that if they continue as soon as you get home you are going to take their favorite toy and throw it away, they won't believe you so as soon as you get home do precisely that,( DO NOT say you're going to do it then don't, that's worse than doing nothing! ), when they see it's costing them something, rather than just going nuts and letting you worry about it, it gets their attention. I guarantee you will only have to do it once or twice and then from then on all you'll have to say is " do you want to lose something else?". I guarantee they'll think twice before that next tantrum, no yelling, no hitting,try it. Good luck.

Answer 7

Those people are truly insensative.

The next time someone says something to you or your son, I would simply smile at them and ask "My, how wonderful it must be to be as perfect as you. No problems of your own, so you must butt in on others. I wish I were you." You will find that most will feel rather embarrassed and leave you alone.

My thoughts on that is if everyone were a perfect parent, then there would be no troubled kids, would there? They aren't perfect, so the last thing they should be doing is judging you and your parenting skills, or your son's behavior.

Answer 8

this is continuously a troublesome one. i attempt to chorus from spanking in any respect if i'm out in public. i'm not hostile to spanking entirely, yet I do imagine there are different issues to attempt to make use of previously spanking. even as i'm on the save and my toddlers try this (my 4-365 days-previous has a tendency to act the way you defined), I frequently go away and do not come decrease back. when I get residing house, he will sit down in his room in vacation for 4 minutes. each and every so often, searching on the offense (even with led to the tantrum), he loses yet another privilege of a few style (no television till after naps, no taking section in outdoors, some thing of that nature). yet somewhat typically, i am going to easily go away the save if my toddlers are having a tantrum. each and every so often all they favor is a couple of minutes interior the vehicle to quiet down and then we bypass decrease back in. yet i have left grocery procuring, even a procuring cart finished of groceries previously, even as my toddlers have acted up.

Answer 9

When you child is having a tantrum you need to get him/her out of the public place ASAP. Don't talk to others or let them interfere with you and your child. Just tell your child "I know you're tired, let's go home." and pick up your screaming ball of energy and head for the door.

At the most I'll respond to rude comments or stares with a long steady stare at the person. That usually gets them off my back.

Answer 10

People need to mind they're own business. I have 4 kids and people actually have said to me, "these all yours" and all kinds of insensitive comments... in answer to your question, I have put my kids in time-out right there (nose in the corner) and told them we will not go anywhere until they calm down. The bathroom, like one suggested is great or the car in the seat-belt, close the door and stand outside the car until they're done. Give them the choice, be in time-out or be happy and use words instead of tantrums, they decide. DON'T GIVE IN, this will only make it worse :)