I have an aunt I am very close to, and she is pretty sick and elderly now. I am already planning ahead to what I am going to do when she dies, eg writing thankyou cards to people who have helped her, putting a tribute site on the web with photos etc. For all I know she has months or even years, but it has been dicey lately. Is that morbid or actually a good coping plan?
2006-12-14 09:56:49 · 7 answers · asked by Banana Ray David 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
PS. I should explain, I am in England, and my aunt is in Canada. It is unlikely if she does die soon that myself or any of the family will be able to make a memorial/funeral.
2006-12-14 10:06:55 · update #1
PPS. Not talking about funeral arrangements and the like, as they are all out of my hands. Talking about the things I plan to do for my own peace of mind, I guess to help me grieve and remember her.
2006-12-14 10:36:23 · update #2
I think your doing what you feel you need to do for yourself. Thats what it takes to grieve for ourselves. No she's not dead yet but you are preparing yourself. Good luck.
2006-12-14 10:07:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother knew she & my grandfather was going to die someday. so she made a will,brought thier owen coffins , plots , headstones and made all the plans years head of time, even payed & planned for their services, even had a address book made up for who to contact and invite, even her obituary and ty cards..
She thought of everything.. when she died the family payed for nothing.. infact she saved alot money because she owen everything since 1970's then she died end of 1980's, my grandfather died 2yrs later and same went for his furnaral..
That saved us alot cost and we know everything was done as she wanted...
planing ahead is great.. and yes it doe make it easy to just go throw grief of loss but not all the hasles
my only question is are you her only family, will her kids or grandkids want to do the service different from what you want?
have you ask her how she like thing done... She may have plans you don't know about..
2006-12-14 18:54:52 · answer #2 · answered by msmomofmany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation with my mother. I feel guilty for planning her death and funeral, but it just keeps coming over me. I am sick at heart about it. I feel like I'm being morbid, but then sometimes I think I am just trying to get myself prepared.
2006-12-14 18:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with planning the more tangible aspects of someone's demise. I recommend it. The emotional part of dealing with the death of someone close to you cannot be predicted or prepared for. It will be a very tough go. That is the price of being human.
2006-12-14 18:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a written plan, you will be able to get things done, but nothing will help you cope with the death of a loved one but time
2006-12-14 18:04:48 · answer #5 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good ideas, have you thought about the actual service, readers, hymns, what she will wear, type of coffin, wreaths or family flowers only, having a wake or house private, a meal afterwards for close relatives, talk to her and see what her wishes are.
2006-12-14 18:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by t.i.m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its ok like they say prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
2006-12-14 20:18:00 · answer #7 · answered by Adelaide V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋