Do you think it is OK to spank a child in a controlled way if you have tried all other was of punishment?

Answer 1

Disciplining a child can be a very emotional debate. Some people are for it some people are against it. The form and amount of discipline is totally up to you.

My son is 21mos. old and I’m starting to discipline him for bad behavior. It’s not very bad behavior. When my son hits or swats and me or my wife we take his hand and “flick” his fingers, but not very hard. He knows when he’s done bad because then he won’t look us in the eyes when we do this to him. Then I direct him to look at me and speaking to him in a stern voice I tell him what he’s done bad and not to do it again.

It’s not the flicking of the fingers that gets him crying and realizing that he’s done something bad, it my voice. He’ll start to cry when I do this to him and it does break my heart and I can’t help but hold him and try to explain what he’s done. He then hugs me sobbing.

If this starts to fail then I will try to spank him when needed.

And like I said before, this can be an emotional debate with some people. You should do what’s comfortable to you and effective for you and your family.

Answer 2

Even though I was spanked as a kid I decided when I got older it was wrong. This idea was cemented in my head by the education and psychology professors I had in college. In fact, if they were to be believed I should have been a neurotic mess (not only was I spanked quite a bit--but in the most "dangerous" way--on my bare fanny).

When I had kids I gradually changed my tune. I am now kind of a nutty radical advocate of it.

I have done research on this. The surprising thing is that the studies finding spanking harmful or ineffiective are at best inconclusive or at worst deeply flawed.

There are actually a number of very good studies that have found it is not harmful at all and is the most effective way to get kids to comply with their parent's wishes.

You never hear about this stuff because it is never mentioned by the anti-spanking media or pop psychology people. I have reviewed all this in an article on my blog at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Thus, I think your instincts are right. I also think that a lot of us younger parents are spanking more. People no longer act like I have two heads when I say I spank. It is just that we are sick and tired of bratty and spoiled kids and all the Nanny 911 nonsense.

The social experiment of no-spanking which started in the 1950's has been a failure and it is high time to junk it.

I honestly don't think it is necessary to wait until you have tried all punishments before using spanking. That all comes from the myth that spanking is a terrible thing that should only be used as a last resort, if you have to at all.

I personally think that spanking is less mean and more effective than other punishments. Time outs and loss of privileges drag out. Real little kids lose sight of the reason for the punishment. It is no more effective with older kids than is jailing adult offenders.

With a spanking--the air is cleared, the point is made and everyone can move on from there.

Answer 3

Yes -

We usually do this as a last resort. We warn them that they are going to earn a spanking if the negative behavior continues. Just don't lose your temper. We have 3 boys 8, 11 and 14, all of them are still physically immature. They 8 year old has been spanked about 6 times this year and the 11 year old 4 times and our 14 year old 2 times although he may have another one coming soon. Usually a warning is enough to get the behavior to stop though. We spank the kids on their bare bottom and pretty much they all will put up a little fight, but either me or my husband are more than capable of handling any of them.

Spanking works as good until about the kid gets into puberty and then you need to find another method. Once the kid starts maturing the spanking could have psychological damage.

Answer 4

Here's the thing about spanking...

You are told to NEVER spank out of anger...but--

After meditating or something, has anyone ever took their child, looked into their eyes, and said, "Ok little Suzy. It's time for your spanking" and actually been able to strike their child?

My experience has been that spankings always occur in the heat of the moment, when parents have lost their tempers. I believe that is wrong, though I am guilty.

Spanking while unprovoked is just BIZARRE.

There are always alternatives to spanking. Be creative

Answer 5

Controlled is the key word. Here is the problem: don't do it in public. There are too many people ready to call the police and call it child abuse and the police will indeed arrest someone for spanking. Take your child home and do it in private. James Dobson writes some good books and speaks of spankings and how important they are. Just don't go overboard and turn it into a beating.

Answer 6

Absolutely, but never when you're angry. I think that's when people cross the line into abuse. Spanking is NOT the same as beating/abusing. Of course the child will have hurt feelings, but they'll go away in less than an hour usually. My parents raised me on spankings and I don't have any psychological problems, I don't feel like I was abused as a child and I have a LOT more respect for them now as an adult than most kids my age (I'm 22). I'm thankful my parents spanked me when I was young, it probably kept me out of a lot of trouble as a teen. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

There is a huge difference between spanking as discipline and abuse. Spanking should be used as an attention getter not necessarily to cause pain. A lot of times the action is as or more effective than any actual pain. Try to never spank because you are angry. Do it to punish.

Answer 8

yes it is ok!! i was spanked and i am respectable and love bolth of my parents even thought i hated the spanking it taught me the most effective way. as long as you don't keep the spanking going and turn it into a beating! on the other hand my foster brother was from a foster agency and we had him since he was 2 and he was never spanked only told no and grounded and now he smokes marijuana and drinks and is going to jail for stealing and stuff so i don't know you tell me should he have been spanked? i think so! so spank away!

Answer 9

Yes - and control way is bare open hand, two to five swats -with restraint- on the bottom, and no more. For toddlers still in diapers, they won't even feel the sting of it, but feel and impact and hear the sound on the plastic coated diaper. That makes a mental impact.

Don't overuse it.

Sometimes, isolating the child from friends, attention, and toys works just as well.

Answer 10

Yes, i think that is great because some parents dont blieve you should do it but that doesnt matter kids need to be spanked some time in their lives. Putting your kids in time-out or w/e you will not always cut it.