Is This A Politically Acceptable Way To Say Happy Holidays?

Question

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.

And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

Feel free to copy and paste

Answer 1

I like yours, but how about:

Merry Christmas*

*Void where prohibited. Void where offensive. No obligation implied. This is an "As Is" greeting, no warranty available. This greeting MAY be changed to meet with the recipients current practices and/or belief system.

Answer 2

Wow! That is a true impressive holiday greeting. I had to go over it twice just to check. Very nice work, you should post that some where and save it.

Answer 3

Yes, now all you need is a lawyer to make you and the person you say it to sign a legal binding contract stating you won't take each other to court.
Or, you could just say, "Have a good winter break!"

Answer 4

Yeah, "Happy Holidays". This includes all upcoming winter holidays of every religion and all secular holidays. So, whatever holiday they celebrate, you've just wished them a happy.

Answer 5

I appreciate your point. I'm actually tired of the need to be "politically correct" when it comes to holidays, especially Christmas when we ignore the real reason we celebrate it in the first place - we are celebrating the birth of Jesus!

Answer 6

I think it's wordy and WAY too "politically correct" to be sincere. I think we all need to relax a little on PC. We're too uptight. No wonder there are so many stress related illnesses. We make mountains out of mole hills.

Answer 7

Common Josh you can't be serious.. The Holiday in December is Christmas and Hanukkah.. I say those greetings to everyone and everywhere I go..
Stop falling for this PC crap.
USA is the best country to live in.
Europe is Godless
Middle East is in Crisis

Merry Christmas! and Happy Hannukah!

Answer 8

Good one, I like it, it is going on my secular holiday of my choice cards this year.

Answer 9

Naw. I prefer to keep the politics out of faith.

Answer 10

If clerks had to say all that to every customer who came through their lines, I think they'd shoot themselves in the head before the day was out....