okay, well here's the deal.. i met this guy the other night. we talked for a bit (and he even did the.. so can i take you out to lunch or dinner sometime) and were both getting a little tired of the scene we were in..so he suggested heading back and watching a movie. despite my better instincts i agreed. so we went back and watched most of a movie.. all of a sudden he leans over and starts initiating sex.. well, i wasn't really into hooking up with him on the first night, and i explained this to him..after about 30 minutes it pretty much got to the point where i couldn resist..(yeah, weak i know..but seriously, i love my sex, LOL!) well now the problem lies in the fact that i was actually kind of interested in getting to know him, and after a weekend long of sex.. it's going to be pretty hard to be anything but an easy lay to him. at first he seemd interested and now.. i'm not sure. there's another problem in that. i think he thinks i'm only interested in friends with benefits.
2006-12-14 09:00:44 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i said something about hte last friends with benefits i had wanting something more than friends and i had to get to walking (only b/c i was not intersted in being more than friends with the friends..)
but this guy, and don't get me wrong..the sex is phenomonal.. but i've actually enjoyed getting to know him, and would actually be interested in spending more time with him other than between the sheets..
so yeah, my question is what the crap do i do?? is there anything i can do.. or just ride out the great sex b/c it's too late to be anything other than that??
i'm not interested in a "let's have babies/livetogether/ get married type relationship" but instead a very casual/slow moving one..but one in which i could get to know him, start letting him get to know me more and just spending time together..and still having phenomonally great sex..
2006-12-14 09:03:03 · update #1
*rolls eyes* glad to see we are up to modern times where a girl is no longer considered a slut/whore/easy/tramp only b/c she has the same sexual morales of a man.. honestly people..
now i'll admit.. i gave in even though it really tempted me to get up, throw on my sweatshirt and leave..but it didn't happen..and i can't take that back... first time it's ever happened like that, and yeah, i probably shold have smartened up..but again, my question is not of my character, but more if he was actually interested in the first place..does that continue or do we just have great sex for a while??
2006-12-14 09:10:23 · update #2
I get the impression that you are not sure about what it is that you want in a guy. Your words and actions conflict with each other. Ask yourself, what do I really want from this guy. I understand that you have physical needs, but like a good meal it takes preparation and time. If I want food right away, I eat it cold, raw,or go to mickey dees. But if I want a gourmet meal I either spend the hours prearing it, or make a reservation at a 4 star restaraunt a week in advance.
Regarding your problem, you cannot cry over spilled milk, but you can clean it up, or pour another glass.
Decide what you want, then be clear about your needs. He will deal with it, or step off to the next one. Once you are clear, that is all you can do. The ball is defintiely in his court then.
2006-12-14 09:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by SONG 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's not the ideal way to start a relationship, but if I were you I'd put the brakes on now. See if he is interested in dating you properly for a while without the sex. If he is willing to do that, it will tell you that he is interested in you as a person. If he's not, then it's just for the sex, and you have to ask yourself if you want that.
There's rarely such a thing as no strings attached sex. It's usually a bigger deal to one of you, and in this case it seems to be you. It doesn't have to be a serious let's get married relationship, but what you don't want is someone using you for sex. Granted, you may be using him too, but think about what you will be losing in the long run. Sex is great fun, sure, but don't hand it around on a plate. Save it for someone decent.
2006-12-14 09:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, watch how he acts around you. Does he seem to only want to do that? Or does he still like to talk to you,, and seem to enjoy your company? Maybe you could try to not hook up so easily, and in the future, try a little harder to resist. And if he asks you about it, you could say that you really like him, and made a mistake, or that that wasn't you, or something. Tell him you really do want this. If he's as nice of a guy as you think, I'm sure he'll forget about it.
2006-12-14 09:04:26 · answer #3 · answered by E Sig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get control of yourself. You will lose out on many things because you are too quick to get laid. You can tell him that you would like to go back to start and develop a friendship with him without the benefits for awhile. Hopefully, he will want to get to know you as a person and not a convenience.
2006-12-14 09:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
4 words: Get on with life. (That suggestion comes from somebody who's been around in simple terms approximately 40 5 years. it relatively is long adequate to have executed some living and a few reflecting on the errors i've got made in life. apart from the very incontrovertible fact that i did no longer fool around with anybody in 1995, i need to be your father, so hear to me!) Twelve is in simple terms too youthful to have a boyfriend. Ask him what he's mad at you approximately, ask for forgiveness, and enable it circulate at that. additionally, it would not harm you to learn suited English. what's actual is "i admire" fairly than "I LIKES".
2016-10-14 23:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well darlin. we all know first impressions last a life time but with you sleeping with him from the get-go kinda made him deal you a screwed up deck of cards. if youve told him you dont want to be FWB & he doesnt want to listen, then you should move on. (& I know, I know: but the sex is that good how can I resist?)
& If you dont want to be FWB, then you should quit now while youre ahead...dont leave room for heartache in the future.
2006-12-14 09:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what u want 2 do and if he is only w/ u 4 the sex,then he is not worth being w/.
2006-12-14 09:07:18 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
best thing to do is stop having sex with him say your own your monthly or something then get to know him as well as you can in a week or so if you dont like get out while you can. we have all given in to temptation every now and again.
2006-12-14 09:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same, find someone else. If your getting laid, I am sure you have no problem finding guys that are interested in you. Believe it or not, good guys aren't that hard to find.
2006-12-14 09:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by P W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK? So he actually got a easy lay from a tramp and got what he want it, so you think now he supposed to date you or sound interested in you cause you are so amazing no to mention he already bang you.
Why in hell would he try to pursued anything else?
2006-12-14 09:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by PR 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋