Would you forgive a child molester?

Question

As a child my father molested me and my siblings.He has never admitted it or asked for forgiveness.It hurts me because he had alot of other good qualities and in my mind I think it would be easier if he was evil all the time.But when that's the only dad you have you wonder why.But if he ever came to me and said he was getting counseling and that he admitted what he did then I think that would be a very big step.Do you think you could let someone back into your life under those conditions?

Answer 1

Tough question. Recognizing your problem and seeking help for it is a huge step. I believe that if your father did that and came to you then you would also be part of the 'healing process'. Under those conditions then yes, you could let him back into your life. That doesn't mean visits every weekend and stuff, but talk on the phone and coffee every now and then until you feel better about it. Don't forget that your siblings might react in a different way and you don't want a feud over this. You might want to consider their opinions too.

Hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 2

Some say it's a sickness, others say it's because they were abused themselves.
Either way a child Molester needs no forgiveness, because in most cases they don't see that they've done anything wrong. Or they live in fear that one day they will be found out for what they've done.
He will never come to you and admit to you or anyone else what he has done. The only way to bring it out would be to confront him about it. Since you are the only one that he can't lie to about it.
You can either put it aside and move on or let it tear you up inside for the rest of your life. Take it from someone that knows, it will always be with you in the back of your mind.
One important thing is: Never leave him alone with any other child. (EVER)

Answer 3

First off, do u still have contact with your dad? I too was abused. If he never discussed it with you or anything, do you honestly beleive he is even remorsful? You should never let them back into your life, and let me tell you why. I did that. And every time i was near that person i was nervous and always remebering the abuse. It didnt matter that I was a grown adult and on my own, the feelings were still there. Sounds like you may need someone to talk to, you crave a real father/child relationship and are almost willing to kinda forgive and try to forget sort of thing. Please open up and talk about it with someone, and stay strong. There are 100's of people out there that are good people, surround yourself by them, and stay away from your dad. Good luck

Answer 4

You can choose to forgive but you will never forget....However, the road to healing is when the person has admitted to the wrong doing and is asking for forgiveness. Acknowledgment is what paves the road to forgiveness, healing, and eventually moving past the hurts. Until your father admits his wrong doing and goes to counseling, he is still the same person with the same tendencies and he will offend again. Please do not leave him alone or in the care of children. If he can't admit his offenses, he is not trustworthy and he is not prepared to be in your life or those of your siblings. Please do not let this define who you are. Your father chose to do those terrible things. Make it your choice to choose life. Make it a point in your life to remember how it made you feel and to never do those things to any child. You are a better person than that. Live for good and not for bad.
God Bless!

Answer 5

Could I let someone back into my life? No, no way. Forgiveness isn't something I have for pedophiles.
Its great if you have that much kindness in you, it really is but it's been my experience that leopards don't change into tigers....they are always going to be leopards. There isn't a cure for pedophilia.
If you ever do decide to allow him in your world, do so with a HUGE amount of caution and if you have children, for the safety sake, keep them away from him.
I'm very sorry you were molested, that is a horrible thing for children to go through.

Answer 6

If he was getting help, and you could see proof that he is getting help, and he was willing to talk about it with you and each sibling, then yeah over time I would forgive. But that is something you just don't forget. It would be hard to keep him in my life, I would try. If I had a child though I'd be extra protective. What ever you decide is completely up to you, how you feel about him now, and how close you are with your Dad. I would try to work it out, you never know what can happen to him.

Answer 7

Forgiveness and trust are two separate issues. Forgiveness is in your power and can be offered if you are willing. Trust should be earned and, in the case of a child molester, I wouldn't let my guard down for a second.
I'm glad to hear your father is getting counseling. It is also a good idea for you to get counseling too.

Answer 8

I was a victim from age 6-11 he was my uncle and a police officer i was only one of several of his victims he went to prison and was released after 6 years for good behavior in my eyes that 6 years was nothing compared to reliving those horrible times everyday of my life,so no i would never ever forgive a child molester

Answer 9

As a mother I would never forgive a child molester. They are sick and should be put away forever. I would not let them in my home or near myh children or anyones chidren ever again!! A child is an innocent person and they do not deserve to harmed in anyway!

Answer 10

I feel all molesters will always have that feeling they have even if they get counseling for the rest of there life. there evil but also thats your dad. Thats a hard spot to be in. Im sorry for what happened I feel You should just keep away from him do it for your kids