am i the bad person here or them?

Question

this christmas is going to be really bad. my sister keeps making catty remarks to me she is jealous of me. then she turns things around and makes up lies to my mother saying that i am catty towards her.my mom sticks up for her always. then my husband was on the dating sites marriedcheats.com and some other ones 4 years ago and i was crying and i send him mother and father a letter telling them what he did. he denied it and then they took his side i am no longer allowed over there. I feel like the black sheep. i feel like staying here all by my self this christmas cause of all the crap. i feel like the bad guy cause eveyone seems to take someone elses side but mine. my mom believes my sister over me and my husbands mother and dad dont believe what he did and they said i lied and so i like what now.... all i have is myself now. i feel lije the bad guy at least they make me feel this way

Answer 1

Sounds like someone needs some therapy.

Answer 2

I don't think you're the bad person, I think you're just catching people in a bad moment maybe. Its wrong what your husband did, that kinda thing is very hurtful especialy as you're married! However, telling his parents in a letter was probably not the best idea as they're bound to side with him because he's their son =(. Don't give up =) just keep your chin up, try not to give in to your sister's provocation, take the high road and all that. No one should be alone at christmas, don't worry, everyone will come round eventually, when the days shorten its scientifically proven that people have shorter tempers and feel down more. This is because vitamin D [that you get from the sun] directly affects the levels of hormones in the brain, the more sunshine and vit D the chances are you'll feel happier. Don't worry, try to make the peace between people, but mainly I'd say its just misunderstanding =) *hug* it'll be okay...

Answer 3

Oh such a shame. No one should feel like you do especially at Christmas. Get through this season and then tell them all to get lost as you are going to make a new life for yourself and you don't need them. You don't you know, anyone who makes you feel that bad about yourself doesn't deserve you. Get out there and have some fun, for your health and sanity. They will come crawling to you when they realise you are not the weakling they think you are. Good luck and a very Merry Christmas.xx

Answer 4

Take control of your own life girl before its too late...If your happy with your husband then stick with him and forget about his parents...There is no need to get involved with your sister, even your own mum and dad, I know that others reading this will think Im spouting out of my ****, but reality is that we do not choose our family only our friends, Life is too short to put ourselves through unneccesary misery, we can all make friends, we can all have lovers, we can all find happiness...the grass is not always greener on the other side but sometimes the path on the other side is more enjoyable...don't get involved in arguements, take a more relaxed approach to life...I have been doing it for the past six years and it is great..even though life has thrown some stinkers at me, I just shrug it off and get on with it..YOU CAN DO THEW SAME AS CAN EVERYONE....GOOD HUNTING !!

Answer 5

You are very negative aren't you! Your first line "this Christmas is going to be really bad" OHMYGAWD! Nothing like getting a head start on negativity! Here is what your mother should have said: "Grow up or shut up both of you" How old are you??

You should never have involved your in-laws in your marital problems either. If your man is cheating...here is a clue, he probably always will. MOVE ON but stop whining to his family about it. They love him and will probably take his side.

Sounds like staying home alone is the only thing that will make you happy. So...either grow up and shut up, or stay home alone and suffer silently.

Answer 6

Firstly, stop telling tales on your sister, surely you are old enough to have it out with her instead of involing other people. Even if your sister was in the wrong, so what, its your sister at the end of the day. Make it up with her and your mom and go to the party with your head held high.

Now your husband, you said he was on a dating site years ago, so why bring it up now. Why go telling tales to his mother, mothers always believe there own blood before in-laws.

Let this be a lesson to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT IN FUTURE. And be grown up enough to sort things out between yourselves before involing other members of the family.
Hope things work out.

Answer 7

Firstly, why did you write to your husbands parents telling them what he did, of course they are going to believe him, he is their son after all. As for your parents believing your sister you really should have dealt with it between you and her ( although it sounds like she would have told your parents anyway). Try not to upset yourself, sounds like you need to get out and enjoy yourself, make some new friends, then dump your husband coz it sounds like he's a cheat anyway.

Do you really want to be with people on Christmas day that don't believe what you say and take peoples sides.
Don't worry it is a horrid time for anything like this to happen you can often feel really sorry for yourself, but you should focus on the New Year and get out there and dump the rest of them you deserve better.

Good luck!!!

Answer 8

That stuff isnt yur fault. Of course your hub's parents will take his side becuase that's there "baby boy". But the thing with your mom is a hard one. The best thing to do is just act like it doesn't bother you. Dump your husband if he is cheating on you.... You deserve better. Go out with some friends or out to a party for christmas. It will help you forget all your problems.

Answer 9

If all you have said is true then that is sad your sister you can ignore and some men do look on porn or cheating sites sometimes they grow out of it sometimes not .You have to decide that your life is most important and that you have done nothing wrong and therefore can hold your head up high and be yourself not what others want you to be use your free will to chose what is important to you and leave the rest out .Talk is cheap and many rumours only hurt if you let them.

Answer 10

Anytime you have marital paroblems and you take them to family members--someone always ends up taking sides- You should always keep them between you and your partner unless it is a life or death situation.
You should go regardless of the situation and smile. Don't discuss anything about your marriage to family at all and just be happy. You are a bigger person for it if you show up and don't talk about the things that are upsetting you and family--it's the holiday--keep it that way. Good Luck.

Answer 11

Well, don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself; get up and do something. No one says you have to spend the holidays with his family or yours. Do what you want to do and tell them you'd rather go to the movies with friends than spend the day with them. You can't change your sister or your in-laws, but you don't have to tolerate their behavior ... or your husband's for that matter. You have to take care of and look out for yourself, because obviously no one is doing that. Good luck!