Discipline ideas for a 4 yr old...Anyone?

Question

My daughter is not bad. She is well behaved, but there are times when she needs discipline. I have tried spanking (I know OOO bad) but she got to the point where she would turn to me and say "I don't feel like crying." I was not willing to hit her harder, so we tried sinding her to her room. That worked for a while, then she decided that she wanted to lay in bed and cry, even if nothing was wrong. Now we are doing time outs in the corner. I put her on a small step stool and she has to put her hands behind her back with her nose in the corner. When the timer goes off (Never set beyond 5 minutes), she has to tell what she was doing bad, appologize and possably discuss how she could have behaved differently. So far this is working, but where do I go from here. I know this will not last long as disipline and I am running out of things that work with her.

Answer 1

if that works, as she gets older try adding some time maybe in 30 second increments.....you could add writing to the mix when she is old enough, she could write about what happened...or draw pictures......ask her how she would feel if someone did to her what she did, when it applies....for instance if she were to bite someone, sometimes you have to bite them back... :o(

Answer 2

Well it seems that you have exhausted your avenues but don't give up! It is your right as a parent to lay down the law. If she does not want to behave and listen - you are doing the right thing by the time outs - keep that up.

You simply cannot let a child run your life. They have to learn respect at a young age or it will be harder for you to control them as they get older (teenage years are the worst!)

When I was coming up, there was no such thing as time out - it was one swift smack and that look that basically said - if you do it one more time, look out! There is nothing wrong with a spanking as long as you don't go overboard with it.

If she wants to go in her room and cry her eyes out - let her. Eventually she will get tired of it when she sees that she is not getting the attention she wants.

My advice to you is keep a firm hand with your daughter. Make sure she knows who is the Parent and who is the Child.

Answer 3

For starters its not a good idea to use a kids room as punishment at such a young age. Toddlers are less willing to go to bed at night when they associate thier bedrooms with being bad. (bedroom = naughty girl = uncomfort in room ) When ever you tell your girl to do something, DONT waiver. You shouldn't have to explain yourself to a 4 year old either; like my fiance does. When asked why MY child should do what I asked, I simply say " because Mom and Dad told you too -- PERIOD.

As far as other ideas, I use the count to 3 method and it seems to work. His preschool teacher uses the same principals on the children -- It works for me..

Spanking isnt the best answer, but being firm isnt bad either. Our children are becoming so irresponsible and " mouthy " cuz parents don't discipline thier children enough if at all.

Answer 4

I have a daughter who will be 4 in February. My daughter is very dramatic and trantrums, but basically a good girl. I think it is their age. We have been using the 1-2-3 Magic system. If you are consistent with it, it seems to work. Here is a link to the program and information regarding the book. www.parentmagic.com You can get the book at any bookstore. The book is small and easy to read and if you follow it you should see results.

Try it and see how it works for you!

Answer 5

I too am the mother of a four year old. We have consistantly used time outs with our son, and they work well most of the time. We have tried a few other tactics as well. He has a favorite blanket and a couple of toys that are his absolute favorite. We always give a verbal warning of whatever he is doing to "stop or we'll take __________ away." It has worked pretty well so far. You've just gotta stay strong! ;) Oh, we also take things away for different lengths of time--one time when he got into trouble at school two days in a row he was not allowed to have his current favorite toy for 2 days. Hopefully that helps!

Answer 6

Don't allow her to use her toys/ take away her privileges. What was wrong with letting her lay in bed and cry? Crying never hurt anyone. Obviously, she knows what to do to annoy you and you just haven't found what really annoys her. I'm a firm believer of a good old fashion butt whippin. If my child turned to me and said they didn't feel like crying, I think I'd make them change their mind real quick with a swift slap on their ***.

From what you have said it kind of sounds like you are afraid to discipline your child. Why? Every child needs discipline. You are the parent not their friend. Do what needs to be done.
Good Luck :)

Answer 7

It's a sad day when we have to state in our questions that spanking is BAD...I disagree! I believe in spankings! Given when needed! It hurts our hand more than their fat little bottoms!! And when you mentioned putting her in time out...you had to state FOR NO LONGER THAN 5 minutes! Why not?! She's getting her way by not getting spanked...getting her way by NOT standing when she was told....make her understand...if you don't stand like I said..you will be spanked...and do what I do...my son turns on his water works when I take something away (ex: his computer game time!) I look him straight in the eye and say..."go ahead and cry...It doesn't bother me!"
I have found that time outs DON'T work! A time out is designed to have the child SIT AND THINK about what they did wrong?! RIght?! NOPE! It allows them time to sit and think...GEE GOT CAUGHT THIS TIME...what can I do NEXT time to NOT get caught! When my son throws his crying into a problem~ I don't start the actual punishment UNTIL he has stopped crying !~ Then I say to him...I'm starting your NO COMPUTER time NOW! IF you say another word..you can forget about using it tomorrow too! He tested this...and lost his computer game time for almost a week (he's 5) BUT when he got the computer time back...He watched how he talked to me and when I asked him to turn it off or do something else..computer goes right off and there's no more problems...He got a spanking the day he lost the computer time...He remembers I'm NOT playing !

Answer 8

I believe what you are doing right now is great! Just keep doing that and discussing her behavior with her. When she does good things reward her. Give her lots of hugs and kisses...Children want to be loved more than anything. Never tell a child that they are bad. Say "You're a good girl but sometimes you make bad choices." It would be a good idea to explain good choices verses bad ones. Always let her know that she is a good girl and that you love her.

Answer 9

I would continue to use the corner. And discussing with her after wards what she had done. This is what I do with my 3 year old. I like the idea of the timer and the step stool!! :)

Answer 10

We are in the same shoes that you are with my son. We have done everything that you have, along with taking away his favorite toys. But thankfully, since this is the Christmas season, we are now threatening that Santa will not come if he continues whatever it is he is doing. The problem with this is we only have 10 more days to use this line on him. Good luck!

Answer 11

you need to be consistent and can not waver even a little because kids pick up on that which is probably why you are having these problems. just hang in there we all go through it, normally people don't like punishing there children and making them cry. so stick with what you are doing now and dont waver.