Did I go too far...?
I was seeing a guy for a couple of months, and one day he said to me that a was really pretty and had a good figure and he suggested because of that, that I should go into lap-dancing andglamour modelling... he said i could make a lot of money out of it... I got angry and told him i have i know im worth more than that and that he obviously doesn't respect me very much if he's urging me to work as a pole dancer. I threw him out of my apartment and refused to answer his calls. Now he keeps on going on abut how much I over-reacted! Just want to know other peoples opinions...
2006-12-14 07:44:35 · 49 answers · asked by smr 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
PS- he was been serious, he wasn't joking...
2006-12-14 07:45:06 · update #1
I dont think it was an insult - just not the best thing for him to say. I think he has a thing for dancers and maybe was wondering what it would be like for you to dance without coming out and saying "would you dance erotically for me?"
Maybe you over-reacted a bit - but, I wouldnt deal with him anymore at all. Sounds like he has a sexual addiction. Those things are dangerous!
2006-12-14 07:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by Chrissie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't think that if I really had desires upon you I'd enter into any conversations that had to deal with your body, how attractive you are or finding employ as a stripper who gives lap dances.
I would think that if I took you out on a date, had dinner and then asked to see you again that would be enough to let you know I find your company enjoyable.
I think by that point you'd be able to figure out that I've found you attractive.
Commenting about your body is the sign of an ignorant person who obviously hasn't any idea as to how to carry on a conversation with any intelligence.
So no...by all means your reaction was not over the edge.
By the way...I'm glad for you that you have the assets for that type of employ. I'm sure it makes you much more desire able but I have this foolish idiosyncrasy about putting personality first. Isn't that strange?
2006-12-14 07:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u were not over reacting, he was kind of wrong for what he said. but u should give him a chance 2 apologize and see if things can work out for u and him. Guys really dont know how 2 give a girl a complement without saying something stupid. If in your heart u care for him and u want 2 be with him them u give him a chance to apologize for what he said 2 u, but if not then u need to mive on. this is something that is up 2 u. You have to follow your heart!!
2006-12-14 07:49:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm well no i dont think you went over board. for you this was seen as a big insult, and if he doesnt get that then its his problem...iits kind of a back-handed compliment saying uv got a great figure and such but to suggest u 2 dance 4 other men worries me.if he really respected you he wudnt want other guys drooling over u and hed want u all to himself.Mayb he didnt really think about what he was saying.You were right to stand your ground, and he'l know now in future not to be so flipant.Id talk to him and find out if he really likes you because if he does he was probably just trying to give you a compliment.He will hav learnt his lesson.
2006-12-14 10:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by * *sUnShINe GiRl* * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for your reaction. If my guy said that to me, he had better run. It would be one thing if he said you should be a model because you are so beautiful. But suggesting that you should be a lap dancer is like saying you have no class. I don't you over reacted at all!
2006-12-14 07:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by Lexy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you didn't overreact. You did the right thing standing up for yourself like that.
You told him that you're worth more than that. You don't see yourself "on the pole". He does. That right there tells you everything you need to know about him and the type of relationship he wants with you.
Forget about him. He can get his jollies somewhere else. And you, can find a guy who wants you as you are right now.
A real man's opinion.
2006-12-14 07:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by peter n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you over reacted. What kind of guy WANTS his girlfriend (or future girlfriend) lap-dancing every weekend? Sure... the money may be great... but what happens the first time he comes to see you there and you are dancing for some guy and he freaks and goes postal??? Or worse... he enjoys watching you dance for someone else. Next thing you know he'll be asking you to 'swing' with his friends!!!
2006-12-14 07:49:06 · answer #7 · answered by JeanJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you did have the right to react the way you did, but guys do think a lot differently. When my boyfriend first told me something similiar to that, I was so pissed. But, he thinks it is the best compliment you can give a girl, aside from being smart and all that. So, I think this guy really likes you, and he was trying to show you that you could feel comfortable around him, because he likes everything about you.
2006-12-14 07:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by quizicalgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey, relax will you? So you are a beautiful woman and being an exotic dancer is not demeaning in any way, even Demi Moore played one in a movie and everyone was cheering her on, what's the big deal?
The dude gave you a compliment, don't get your undies in a bind. just say, "Thank you, but it's not my thing, really, I plan to be a nuclear scientist, win the noble prize and use my immense brain to cure cancer".
So don't get mad at the poor guy and if you like him give him a break, he did not mean to insult you I'm sure of it,]
Good Luck to you,
Irene
2006-12-14 07:53:14 · answer #9 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl. if a guy that you are sleeping with suggests that you go sit on another guys lap then he doesnt respect you. If it was a joke ok but he was serious dont worry about it you did the right thing forget about him. Good luck.
2006-12-14 07:48:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋