why do we love others instead of ourselves?

Question

why is it we can put all our heart and soul in a relationship, but we dont put as much energy in loving ourselves?
and if someone does have high self esteem, we tend to shoot them down, calling them "conceited or bougie"....whassup with that?

p.s. im in love with myself, and all my friends think im crazy...thats why im asking...but hey, you gotta know me..!!

Answer 1

we love other people more because we see past all their imperfections and we cant see past our own...

for the second part of the question i dunno

Answer 2

The truth is that we do love ourselves but sometimes we would want to share love with someone else. There comes a time when a person gets a high self esteem because that person feels great we call them conceited because we then feel like we have competition. Just let that person go and that person's ego will break easily.

Answer 3

LOL..I needed this one! When i hear 'bougie or stuck up' i think of someone who thinks they are BETTER than everyone else...you can love yourself, and feel that you are doing the best you can, or are really talented at certain things, but if you start holding or thinking of yourself above others...now there's a problem. Sometimes we need our friends and partners to remind us we aren't necessarily all that, all the time.
As for why we're in relationships...i think it's part of being human.
My favorite poem (Langston Hughes):
Birthin is hard,
and dyin' is mean.
So get yourself
a little lovin' in between.

Relationships can help us grow more than we can by ourselves...it's a fine line to walk, but when you tend to yourself and can give to another..I think you grow and stretch more as a person, become better for it. The problem is...people not realizing when they are using relationships as crutches, or band aids.

Answer 4

Hi Drinkmosherry's,

If love does not reside within one, then it cannot be expressed to others, outside one. It is called lack of self respect, self worth and self esteem.

When most people seek love, they express their love in the only way they know how, and that is physically form, and they seek someone to give them the emotional love they do not have for themselves, therefore making them totally dependent on the actions and emotions of others, and when things do not go their way . . . . it's asta la see ya.

And there are those who are puzzled by the soaring divorce rate today.

I commend you on your high level of self respect, self worth and self esteem. You are indeed a rare commodity in these days of misplaced values and ideals.

To answer the last phase of your question, it's commonly referred to as . . . . . . . .Jealousy.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Darryl S.

Answer 5

That is the worst thing you can do.
It is a two way street.

The Giver feels good, the receiver feels Great.
You deserve both if you want a healthy relationship.
You are not depriving the person you love from happiness, and they should not deprive you.

Self-Esteem and Dignity should never be surrendered.
Stand true to who you are.
You will get nothing but Respect and love being who you are.

Answer 6

Because we know ourselves through and through. We are never satisfied with who we are inside. When you fall in love with someone else, you're only seeing the great stuff about them....you don't see the deep dark secrets and memories that are tucked away inside. All you see is the nice, sweet person on the outside.
When it comes to people with high self esteem. There is a such thing as being "too big for your breeches". You can have confidence in yourself, you can love yourself and respect yourself....but some people will shove it in your face that they are better and prettier....(when they prolly aren't!)
There is nothing wrong with loving yourself. I just wish it was an easy thing to do...you know?

Answer 7

I think because when ur in love with someone u see them as someone who brings out the best in u, the way u feel around them and about them makes u love that feeling thinking it comes from them when in reality it has always been within...u just end up giving that person the best of u....

Answer 8

Oh my God this is a good question. I think its the same reason we can give people advice and not follow it ourselves. For example: If somebody asked me how to quit smoking, I got tons of advice. But why can't I quit smoking?

Answer 9

Like the old saying Misery like s company, Because the need of being accepted, and needed, We first need to find peace within ourselves

Answer 10

I've noticed that, too. Don't these people realize that you can't look out for anyone else if you can't look out for yourself? That's why I've decided to remain single. I care too much about myself to bother with a boyfriend.

Answer 11

I know a LOT of people who love themselves far more than anyone else