My 2-yr old leave me for a month?!?

Question

My parents-in-law live in Bulgaria (i live in Minnesota) and they desperately want to have my toddler for a month in Bulgaria. I am very nervous about this and i don't want it to happen mainly because of how i will feel. Of course i am worried that my toddler might miss me, but her grandparents are like her second parents. My husband says i am being selfish if i don't let this happen because our child is the in-laws only joy in life. What do you think?

Answer 1

Is your daughter comfortable with her grandparents? A month is a long time to be so far from home. What if they came to visit you, or you took her for a visit and stayed with her at their home?

Answer 2

That is too long and too far away! I couldn't bear it. Honestly, I think your in-laws are being selfish to ask this of you. They should visit you, not take your kid away for a month! I would be furious with my husband if he made me feel guilty for not wanting to do that. It's asking too much and if you are not comfortable with it, put your foot down and tell them that in no way would it be possible for you to send your child off for a month. If your child was 12 or over, I'd say fine, if your child was ok about it, but now, no way! Good luck to you and stay strong!

Answer 3

I agree with you. My parents live about 10 minutes from me and I worry when my daughter spends a weekend with them. You would worry and worry that entire month. Your mother-in-law should understand- would she have wanted to give her son (your husband) up for a month? I don't think so. Why can't they come here and visit? It's a totally different country....kids need routines. And sending your child away for a month would definitely mess up any sort of routines/habits you have established. It's your child. Your decision. I remember once when our daughter was about 4 months old- my husband wanted her to spend the night with his mother. Well, we got to her house and were trying to settle our baby down for the night. She cried and cried and cried. We finally got her to sleep. My husbands reaction was "Just put her in the bed and leave. She'll be fine." There was absolutely NO WAY I was going to leave her with someone that was probably like a stranger to her. (I figured she'd wake up terrified if I wasn't around- I was there when she went to sleep, I felt I should be there when she woke up.) I put my foot down and we took her home. His mom agreed with me, but my husband kept trying to lay a guilt trip on me..."I just wanted her to spend the night at MY mom's house." Oh well, he's long forgot about it. You have to do what you're comfortable with.

Also- think about your child. We don't know what goes through a child's mind. Your toddler might get worried that you're never coming back. I don't think a child would understand that "I'm just going for a visit." Children have no sense of time- it would just be too dis-orienting in my opinion.

Answer 4

No offense to your in-laws but you send your baby to another country and they decide they'd like to keep her you could never get her back. Why aren't they inviting you or daddy along? Would one of them fly over to get her? Think of how she'll feel without you, where very few people understand her and every things different, because children love routine. Then think of what else she'll be exposed to. A whole new range of minor illnesses, how will they cope with a baby who's coughing and cranky for a month? Do you exactly know your inlaws points of view on disipline in their own home? Do they match yours? You have a Lot to consider before you send your baby away.

Answer 5

I wouldn't trust my 2 year old to be with anyone but me for that long a period of time. Not even my parents. Nothing against them- but it's such a tender age. Kids are picky, they go through stages. And at such a long distance away, I wouldn't do it. You arent being selfish. This is your child. If they want to spend time with there "joy of life" let them come visit you for a month.

Answer 6

I agree, I don't think I could give up either of my babies for that long. And my oldest isn't a baby anymore...he's 4!! It's far too hard to give up the center of your world for a whole month. Not to mention that is a really hard change for a child that young. Ask if you can cut it down to 2 weeks to compromise.

Answer 7

I would say that they could have him for 2 weeks and then they could come back with him and spend another 2 weeks with him here! My daughter went to my dad's house in Arizona (I'm in California) when she was 2 for only 1 week in the summer and she hated it. Even though she knew her grandparents, she needed me to help calm her down and I think she was scared I wasn't coming back or something.

Answer 8

I think you should let her go, but if you absolutely don't want her to go then don't send her. You have that right. If you do, take advantage of the time alone with your husband. Do things you aren't as able to do with a two year old in tow.

Answer 9

2 years old is way too young to send them away for a whole month...especially to another country. I would definitely put my foot down and say no way!!! If they want to see your child they should put forth the effort to come to where you are. Or maybe make arrangements for yourself and your husband to go along too.

Answer 10

are you kidding me that is way to long, my 2 year old stays at my in laws every Friday night while i work and Saturday she seems like a different kid. i would tell them that they are welcome at your house any time and to stay as long as they want but to send your 2 year old away for that long is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!