how do you find someone decent?

Question

i have posted another question on my life ,how do you find someone who makes you laugh,appreciates you ,ive made so many mistakes in my life but i am successful now,but ive been treated like crap in the past so i think i give off the wrong signals

Answer 1

You most likely will/have fall(en) into the crush/infatuation trap, and you will not know how the person you want/are with truly feels for you since you two seem to be "strangers" to each other (read on to understand), so here is my advice for standards you need to know for when you have/are seeking to be in a relationship and learning the difference between LOVE and LUST. Knowing this will give you a checklist for your current or future gf/bf so you can know if she/he truly loves you and is right for you in every way, physically, and emotionally. Here's my tips for a prosperous relationship:

#1 Know yourself. Know your personality, what types of people will jive well with you and your habits, know your limits, know your strengths, and weaknesses. Once you know yourself, then and only then can you love another.

#2 Never judge a person by appearance. Personality far exceeds how a person may look. If I was judged that way I would never have gotten my soulmate because, yes, I am overweight. Never try to match a person up to your expectations and put them on a pedestal, hoping they will be exactly what you want. People are all different and you must learn to love a person for who they are, not what you wish they were.

#3 Everytime I hear the saying "opposites attract" I cringe because that couldn't be any farther from the truth. For people to be in a relationship with you, both of you should be totally insync with each other on most levels, sure we're not all the same, but the person you love should be your best friend. Yes you heard me say it, BEST FRIEND, as in someone you can trust completely, talk to about ANYTHING and everything, RELY upon, and share common interests. Someone who will always be there for you and accept you no matter what circumstances occur, good, bad, or indifferent. You should also know everything about that person's life, and understand their personality, flaws, good traits, ect. Remember, communication, communication, communication! Know your partner!

#4 All of this takes a lot of TIME to create, a lot of talking and getting to know the person before leaping on them, making out, having sex, ect. This is why most people FAIL at relationships, because they are total strangers trying to make up for a lifetime of not knowing the person they are with, therefore there is no base for trust and sex becomes a temporary mechanism to make people think they have something together, when in reality, they don't. Hence, friendship 1st is absolutely crucial.

I speak from personal experience because I am in a loving relationship that is all of those things and more.

Answer 2

Hah! Join the club! I think you need to think about this. Most people in relationships are really unhappy and put up with a lot of crap from their partner because they aren't strong enough to leave. Most of these people put on a front and pretend everything is ok.

I personally don't put up with crap and would rather be single than live a lie. If someone decent comes along, great. If not, so be it. Life is not any better when you've got someone in it. You have the same amount of worry, anxiety and stress but for different reasons.

You are successful in your own right. Be strong, confident and live your life your way.

Answer 3

I'm very decent!! BUT I'm also taken.
I dont think that a club is ever a good place to meet anyone as usually the fellas are full of drink & just want to take a girl ( usually ANY girl ) off home to bed.
Be yourself & go to the places that you enjoy, so that the fellas who maybe there have @ least something in common with you.
Be choosy, take your time & most of all TAKE NO SH_T if he,s NOT CRAZY about you in the beginning he NEVER will be!!
As i dont know you im working blind here BUT have a drink in a few nice hotel bars with a girlfriend.
Im different to a lot of blokes as i like classy hotel bars more than pubs.
Im getting married next year @ a castle in Kent, i met my girl in The American Bar of The Hotel De Paris in Monte Carlo & we hit it off straight away!!
I blew her socks off & was,nt after Anything from her in Monaco.
We lived 200 miles apart from each other BUT saw each other EVERY SINGLE weekend for 2 yrs before i jacked my job & moved 200 miles south to be with her.
Let the fellas do ALL the chasing then in that way you,ll find out quickly just hows much they want to be with you.
And DONT give IT up too quickly CAPICHE.
When a fella does appear interested in you & comes over to chat
Dont be Cocky BUT be very open & welcoming, warm & friendly.
In that way the fella will be @ ease with you straight away & may not take the pi_s!! GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

Finding a decent man can be difficult but gentlemen are out there. It is best to go to places where you would be likely to find a gentleman. A church is a good place to start. Also go to the Library and if you have friends who have great guys or know of some ask them for referrals. At school you can spot them by just looking. Watch for the ones that are helpful to others, friendly and fun loving as well as compassionate. Above all, seek out the ones who do the little things for ladies like opening a door, helping them with their coat, giving directions to help someone. The guys that put others first are the guys to seek out. But before you commit yourself to anyone, get to know him well under as many different situations as possible. You want to know his likes and dislikes and what he considers important. Keep these things in mind and you will not go wrong. Remember, you can't tell a book by its cover.

Answer 5

The best thing you can do is to quit trying so hard!

When I met my girlfriend, whom I plan to marry, I had finally realized that I was trying too hard. Just 2 days before I met her, I had gone to meet someone else...the 4th someone else that week. All of the women i kept meeting seemed awesome...until I acually met them or went out with them. Most turned out to be crazy and obsessive. I had not been in a serious relationship for 2 1/2 years. I finally decided to give up. That was a Thursday night. That Saturday night, I met the woman of my dreams. I tried to fight against this one and couldn't. When it's the right time, your true love will find you!!

Answer 6

Try frequenting decent places, only kidding, you can meet the nicest people in the strangest places.
shopping for example, how to spot a single man while shopping.
1) He shops for one, ie ready meals, pot noodle, beer, twin pack of toilet rolls (never the pack of 12) you get the idea.
2) He shops very quickly, paying no attention to prices or special offers. So look out for the single man next time you are in tesco, but if he has read this answer then beware, he will know you are watching. ha ha

Answer 7

it's more then you giving off the wrong signals...

first, i'd say stay single for a while, a few months at least...

this will give you the chance to sit back and examin who you are, what it is that you really enjoy doing.. getting to know yourself again...

after this, then you can start thinking about what it is you want in a guy, figure out a few things you really want, then think about where a guy like this would hang out...

now go hang out in those places, and talk to the guys there...

Answer 8

It's not you giving off the wrong signals, it's just you being cautious because of how you were treated in the past. It sounds like your confiedence needs a little boost. Why don't you e-mail me through here and we can talk a little bit.

Answer 9

Hey all u have to do is be yourself and let guys know right from the word go that you dont take no ****. Be honest ans if u ley a guy know rught from the start u might be able to sort out the loosers if ur looking for a winner then u need look no further cuz im here message me and ill tell u about me. let me tell u im brutaly honest and some girls cant take it

Answer 10

Falling in love is never easy. It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. Be persistent and continue to be social and you will find the right one for you who will appreciate you for who you are. Believe in yourself and forget the past, you are not the same person and have grown, learned from past mistakes, and matured. Good luck!