She got her electricity shut off today because she makes poor desicions with her money, like buying a tanning bed, food for her grown daughter, things she does not need, etc. She is not trustworthy and I do not want her in my home when I or my husband is not home too. I do not want her to have a key because she will give it to her daugter who does drugs and is not allowed in our home. I have agreed with my husband that she can shower and sleep there after we get home from work and then she has to leave in the morning, which is fine because she works. Am I being generous enough or am I being selfish? She also has two dogs that are not housebroken. I would also like to know from the people who answer if you are Christian or not. We are...and that is why I feel like God may want us to help her more than I feel like I can give. I do not want to put my home in danger. I am 19 weeks pregnant and am not sure if I can handle this stress.
2006-12-14 06:54:07 · 11 answers · asked by Drea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her electric bill is $300 overdue to even have it turned back on. If we give her the money she will expect it again because we have gone that route...not to mention that we do not have $300 extra dollars laying around with a little one on the way. It could be a long time before she has that money too.
2006-12-14 07:53:07 · update #1
you are in a pickle! Well she is your mother in law so maybe if you set a limit to how long you will help her than maybe she will get her act together also it is better if you hubby deal with her and not you not only because of stressing you out but because it is easier coming from her son!
2006-12-14 07:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by lola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let her sleep and shower there until her power is turned back on. Make sure she's on top of that, though. It doesn't take long to get the electricity turned back on.
I would not want someone, even my mother in law, hanging out in my house when I'm not there. I agree with you on this.
And you do NOT need stress if you're pregnant. Too much stress could be very bad for both you and the baby.
I am Christian, though not a very strict one. How about paying her electric bill so that she gets her power turned back on right away and doesn't have to come over at all? You're helping her and being generous, and that's a Christian thing to do. But you're also making sure that you and your baby stay safe and healthy (and stressfree), and I'm sure that God would want that.
2006-12-14 07:04:09 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing in my opinion. Stick to your rules and make sure your husband does as well. It is very important that you and your husband are on the same page with this bc it can cause problems for your marriage, and we dont want that! My MIL makes poor desicions with her money as well and we have been having to help her lately too. I know how stressfull it can be, and especially to be pregnant on top of everything else! Just keep praying for the strength to make it through. Give her a time limit on how long she can stay, maybe untill she gets paid again??
2006-12-14 07:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are being generous enough considering the circumstances you describe. it is your home so you have the right to make the rules. i hope she leaves at the same time you do or sooner in the mornings so you can make sure everything is locked up. make sure she can not get access to your keys either. if she is that untrustworthy she might get copies made. make sure she pays her electric bill so she can stay in her own home. you have to put your unborn child and yourself first. it may sound uncaring to some people but you are doing what you can to help. your mother - in- law is not your responsibility. she is an adult who should be taking responsibility for herself. if she has a medical or mental problem that needs to be addressed. good luck and god bless
2006-12-14 07:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why on earth would God give you something you couldn't handle?
I think if the situation is working the way it is being handled right now, why are wondering if you are doing enough? If you feel like you shouldn't be doing more than you already are due to your pregnancy, then stop worrying about it and don't inconvenience yourself further out of guilt.
2006-12-14 07:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by stargirllll4311 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put her in a cheap hotel for a few nights and let her know she needs to get her bills in order before the end of the stay.
2006-12-14 08:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian women, who has a mother in law, who if you can fathom this, is even more frustrating then yours. It sounds to me like you and your husband have already agreed on ground rules where she is concerned, stick to them. You are not obligated to shelter and feed her, either morally or spiritually.I understand your concerns completely and I believe they are valid. Do what you feel you should, you are already showing a Christlike love for her, it's she who is digging her own hole with her choices.
2006-12-14 07:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your house, your decision. You are not obligated to her, she is not a child, but a grown woman capable of taking care of herself. I am Catholic and I do believe that God wants us to help people in need, but I also believe they have to want to help themselves. If she is mismanaging her money, then she's not helping herself and she shouldn't expect you to bail her out. You are pregnant and should be taking care of yourself instead of your mother in law. Good luck!!!!
2006-12-14 13:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is Small family problem. Not third person allowed for.
Adjustment type of life is solved the problem.
2006-12-14 07:08:35 · answer #9 · answered by jaffar a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she must stay with you, put her in the crawl space.
2006-12-14 06:58:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋