what should i do about my dads girlfriend she is always yelling at me and my little brother?

Question

my mom and dad are getting a divorce and my dads girlfriend thinks she knows how to be a mom but she doesn't have any kids
she lives with me and thinks that its okay to yell at me all the time. my dad doesn't do anything about it because she lies to him and tells him that she didn't yell at me or my brother. my dad believes her over his own kids. Is that right or should he listen to his kids adn make her leave?

Answer 1

Tell her to "Shut the f**k up!" She's not your parent she is just he adulterous young ***** who is screwing your dad.

Answer 2

I all depends on what she is yelling at you for. Also, it depends on how serious your father and her are. If she is living with you, I would assum serious enough that she could be your future step-mom or maybe even your dad considers her as a step mom to you. In that case, she does have some authority over you, but not to mis-treat you.

Does she yell at you to do your homework or clean your room, and how does she yell at you?
Is it because you are automatically putting up that defensive wall of defiance because she is not your mom or is it just her being mean?
Do you and your brother listen to her when she is calming asking you to do something or do you both ignore her?

These are all question that define how she would treat you. If you feel that you honestly listen when asked to do something that your own mother or father would have asked and she still yells or mistreats you, try to kill her with kindness (I have an example in me sources below). She may feel intimidated since she is in a different situation than she has been use to for the last 10, 20, maybe 30 years (depending on how old she is). Also if you show any signs of defiance she may pick up on that and consider her yelling as the only way she knows how to get through to you. Ask her polietly the next time she yells at you to not yell and reminder her you are a human being and that you will have no problem listening to her, but cannot listen when you feel mistreated. Explain to her that you want to listen to her, but that yelling only makes you angry and less likely to do what she says.

My last point is be kind and patient no matter how angry or upset you may be. You want to show both your mom and his girlfriend that you are a mature person that deserves respect and kindness. Even though anger is pushed your way, kindness and patiences almost always put a stop to a tense situation. It's easy to be mad and yell at another angry person, but it's harder for a person to be mad at a calm, rational person.

Good luck no matter what the situation and remember that you are a human that deserves kindness and respect, but in order to receive that respect you much earn it.

Answer 3

No-one should ever come between a parent and their children first of all. Stepping in as a girlfriend or step parent is a strain for both. They want to be an active part, sometimes they overstep their boundaries. Your father should put his kids first. I don't know your ages, but I would have a problem if it were my dad and he didn't beleive me. I think he should listen to what you tell him, observe for himself and act accordingly. The least he should do about your complaint is have a family meeting to explain the "rules" to everyone, girlfriend included. Myself, I could never give another person open disciplinary rights to my children without fully knowing how my kids felt about it and how that person was truly treating them. I beleive if they are showing love consistantly to the child, they would be fair about discipline but if all they do is discipline, that's NOT right and NO parent should allow that!

Answer 4

Try talking to your dad and have an intervention. Family comes first. Find some time when his girlfriend is not around and try to talk to him about how it makes you feel. Sometimes people don't realize how this is affecting you until you tell them. I know it should be obvious to you but maybe not to him. Maybe you mother has always been the one to disapline and he leaves this up to his girlfriend now. Chances are he doesn't know how much it hurts you. Try to reason rationally do not bash or berate his girlfriend. Focus on how it affects you and your brother then see if you can all talk to her upfront and put all the cards on the table. Let her know how this makes you feel. This is my best advice, if it does not work I would seek out your mother to try help resolving this issue. She is still part of the family too.

Answer 5

Sorry to tell you this but he will not leave her no matter what you say. Right now your dad just thinks you are just being a brat. Look if you can consider getting a video tape recorder and tape her and let your dad see it. Remember a that would be worth its weight in gold. Find out if it is legal first.

Answer 6

well why don't you get a tape recorder or a cell phone and record her yelling at yall but don't let her know you have it. well you and your dad need to sit down and talk. and if you don't like living in the same house as your dad new girlfriend why don't you move with your mom

Answer 7

If your able to live with your mom tell her you want to live with her before the divorce is final. Then when your dad asks you why you want to live with your mom, just tell him you have tried to tell him what his girlfriend does to you guys and that he won't listen so you would rather live with your mom, cause what his girlfriend is doing is wrong.

Answer 8

What a *****, try secretly recording her, or have some sort of witness hiding, or just try contacting the Dr. Phil show. He'll put your dad in his place. Your children always come first. Pray for the situation. Good Luck

Answer 9

Simple. Hide a video camera in the room and wait for her to start yelling at you. Then, when you tell your dad, and she lies, you can show him the tape.

Answer 10

I know how you feel. My dad met my step mom on yahoo personals and she moved in like 2 weeks later. They got married like 6 months later. I always told my dad how I felt about her (she is a controlling ***** who acts fake in front of all my family and they eat it right up). He believes her over me and my brother which really sucks. Because we see the real her. She makes fun of our mom in front of us and one time I couldn't take it so I kidnapped my brother and went to my moms house and refused to go back to my dads. After about a year of me and my brother truly being unhappy, my dad finally noticed on his own. He noticed me and my brother never went to his house on our own anymore and we didn't even talk to him when we were there. Now he just fights with her all the time but he doesn't want her to leave. He should definitely listen to you guys. I hate when parents don't listen to their kids. I understand they want to be happy but they have to learn to compromise, after all they did choose to bring us into this world and if they can't compromise then they can't get mad when we don't want to see them. I know it's tough but hang in there. Just keep talking to your dad and he will eventually realize he was shutting you guys out. Try to get your dad's gf to go to lunch with you in a public place. Try to explain to her how you feel. sometimes they just need to feel like they are a part of your life no matter how much you don't want them to be. It will keep her off yourr back for a little while at least.
Well Good luck.

Answer 11

His kids should def. come first. But the next time she yells explain to her that she is not your mother and has not right to raise her voice to you but say it nicely. And bring it up to your father again, and if he doesnt beleive you maybe consider staying with your mom or not visitng him when she is around.