I became pregnant with my son at 16. I married at 18. I had my daughter at 20. The man i am married to seems selfish and unsupportive in the things that make me happy. This is kind of how my parents treated me. This is probably why i saught "love" from someone and became pregnant..( understood) ... i need to cope with the after math of it all. I am a highly intelligent artistic human being and have many beautiful things to offer humanity, but, feel held back by my anger and insecurities.
2006-12-14 06:33:06 · 8 answers · asked by amecake83 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Therapy is always good.
2006-12-14 06:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, don't let the past represent the future. If your parents treated you that way when you were growing up, take it as a learning experience and do not hold grudges because of your past. You have have to continuously go forward or you won't get anywhere. As far as your husband is concerned, let him know how you feel about his selfishness and being unsupportive. Make him understand that you are his wife, you have a child together and you are a family and you should be there for each other no matter what the situation is. I'm sure you listen when he has a grudge, right? If he doesn't lighten up, I would give him the boot (or at least threaten him with it).
2006-12-14 14:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it through with someone might help you feel that you are not alone.You're clearly highly intelligent as you have already worked some things out for yourself.
A trip to the CAB might be a first point of call they may be able to point you in the right direction.
There are I believe women only groups around the country where others give each other support who are also in your situation. The CAB may tell you where they are in your local area, you might also be able to take the children along if they are young.
I hope that you find an outlet of hope here .
2006-12-14 14:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by Valkyrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest thing that is going to help you is #1 forgive those who hurt you in the past (forgiveness is not the same as forgetting, saying what they did was ok or allowing it to happen again...it is letting go of the grudge). By holding onto past hurts, you allow them to continue you to hurt you now.
Sounds like you need to get out of your relationship (if he won't support you now, he won't magically change and do it later). Then make a commitment to yourself to turn over a new leaf. Seek therapy for healing from your hurts, go to anger management classes to get beyond that (once you let go of past hurts, your anger will be so much easier to control) and make plans & dive into projects to buidl a new you...it could be anything from taking up a hobby you have always wanted to try, to going back to school and getting a dgree in a career field that has always interested you....if you are an artistic human being who has a lot to offer humanity, this will do you a world of good in allowing you to focus on what makes you happy, not what brings you down....you will benefit.
Your children will also benefit, in that they won't carry the torch of anger into their adult lives and they will see the value of self worth in achieving success and happiness in life.
Best of luck & God Bless!
2006-12-14 14:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by nexgenjenith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to just sit and write all my anger out on paper . It didnt matter if it made sense and I included cursing and wrote frantically . I now run alot and I have a shop in my backyard where I go and scream and throw stuff , if Im angry , away from my wife . That way you genuinely get to the heart of whats making you angry . Uncensored and without denial . Ive also trained myself to have a friendly dialog with myself in which I sit with the intention of having a kind and friendly conversation with myself and it can be anything , trivial or serious .
2006-12-14 17:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exercise helps me get out a lot of pent up anger, but I think I understand your situation. My Mom had my older brother at 16 & me at 19. I recognized her frustrations once I was old enough to understand. What I witnessed is that she started to get involved with many things outside the home which helped build her confidence and what I see as ultimately helping her to find out who she really is. I am very proud of her accomplishments and her courage to overcome all of the obstacles life has thrown at her.
Get involved with something that interests you outside the home...whether it be exercising, joining a local bookclub, Toastmistress, or volunteering at church or a local school tutoring. It may seem like a HUGE step, but just take it one step at a time.
2006-12-14 14:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by putty tatt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like to smash things
2006-12-14 14:35:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
if it moves smash it if it dosn't smash it
2006-12-14 14:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋