Dear Santa
I wood like a cool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy
all yeer
yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least
HE can spell!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for
is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Chris tmas, I'd like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can
do?
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid mom, who rides his *** constantly? It's time to give
up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay,
I'll
set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me
a favor? Leave me a
bottle of scotch.
Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China I have a condo in Miami , where
I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I
unwind
by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail
waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you
wanted to know.
Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a Blonde? Good luck
in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that
crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
home?
Love, Marky
Mark, first, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're
getting your *** whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a
house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get
inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your
bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams, Santa
2006-12-14 06:27:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
FINALLY!!!!!
A quality joke !! A f##king hilarious one too !!
Thanks so much for the best laugh of the day!!!
Keep up the good work!
Love & hugs from Canada!!!
2006-12-14 06:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should write how santa comes from your heart and as long as you believe in me i will always be true. you could also use as in the polar express movie ( as long as you can ring that bell and hear it i will be there) im sure you will be able to write something good, just write what comes form your heart....hey santas real to all of us right??explain what you would say to your own son or daughter if they said mommy is santa real...
2016-05-24 03:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. LOL. Sounds like Santa is having a Hissy Fit. LOL.
2006-12-14 13:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow Santa is nice. Well that was really good keep it up!!!!
Happy holiday and have a happy new year!!!!! <3
2006-12-14 06:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's freakin amazing! lol! i give it 2 thumbs up. have you ever heard the thing on bob and tom about "dear santa" it's freakin hilarious too. this thing just reminded me of it.
2006-12-14 06:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hehehehehe!! Hilarious! I'm still laughing!
2006-12-14 06:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by funmzire 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha ha 10/10 I give it a thums up!
2006-12-14 06:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by mistery person 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats amazing! lol
2006-12-14 06:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG...I have heard these before but they always make me laugh!
2006-12-14 06:49:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, Santa's a di ck. lol
2006-12-14 06:31:01 · answer #10 · answered by Masta Batang Dollar Billz 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋