Is it proper to join in a conversation?

Question

Ok, maybe it's just because I have low-self esteme... Is it alright to join your friends in a conversation that has clearly been going on for a while? It just seems to me as if I'm making myself a nuisence... As if I'm trying to move the center the attention towards myself.

Answer 1

Touchy topic.....
Sometimes, yes it is more than okay to join in. Conversations evolve and move onward, so you won't be too far out of the loop. Its better than standing there feeling silly.

Other times, no, you shouldn't join in. Topic may be involved, or none of your business, or sensitive, or need too much background to get you up to speed.

Now the hard part... knowing when its okay and when its not. This comes down to instinct and body language. If the circle is closed, then don't join in. If asked a question, apologize, say you weren't listening and ask for an update, of course then you are invited.

Some people have no problem butting into other peoples conversations, they annoy me and most other people. But it sounds as though you are courteous enough not to be one of those.

If you ask probing questions on topic then you aren't drawing attention towards yourself.

Now, about that low self-esteem. You need to work on that. Truly because life happens while you are waiting and debating. You need to join in the dance!

Answer 2

Sadly, everything is circumstantial. In some cases people will find it rude and never tell you. The best way to tell if you may enter a conversation :

1. Listen for a while. Its entirely possible that what you heard from a distance or at first is completely out of context. You may not want anything to do with the conversation.

2. Check body language. If anyone in the party makes eye contact with you, they're probably more likely to indicate if they want your input.

3. Be short. When first entering into a conversation always try to make short comments, on topic, so as not to change course of the conversation. Once you're in it for a while, then you can make lengthy detailed conversation (when appropriate.)

Answer 3

I really suck at starting conversations so I usually have no choice but to join in, unless I can use some sort of conversation piece to get one started. Doing so also ensures that I am talking about something the others are interested in. Sometimes though, it does feel like I'm making a nuisance of myself.

Answer 4

That's a tough one. When someone joins a conversing group they change the dynamic of the group instantly - and can thereby ruin the conversation. For example, if you are talking intimately to your lover on the phone and someone comes in the room, you change the conversation immediately.

Answer 5

If these people are friends, and if the conversation isn't something that could be regarded as private, I would say that it's okay to join in, as long as you aren't interrupting anyone. If you join in, see if anyone looks/acts annoyed. If they do, then back off a little. If your comment seems to be well-received, then participate in the conversation as you see fit.

Answer 6

Best option - take a while before you actually step in so that you get a brief idea of what the hell they are talking about and they have time to notice your presence around. Then, get in by saying 'Hi folks, may I...'

Answer 7

You have every right to draw everyone's attention towards you, if you have some definite/useful views about the ongoing topic.

Answer 8

I hate it when people do this to me. It depends on how well you slide into the conversation, and how good of Friends you are with the people.

Answer 9

Yes I think it is. It sounds like you are shy. There is nothing wrong with including yourself in the conversation.

Answer 10

it depends on the topic and individual's smartness. in this case yours. if you can hear few sentence and pick up its great. but if you're gona be lost even after they explain you the whole deal, dont disturb them