My friend has become very distant, mean, rude to others in my bridal party and to my finace. We all used to be great friends but in the past 3 months, the friendship has started to dissolve. No one likes her anymore, she doesn't seem to care about the wedding and I don't really want her around. How do I keep from feeling like a terrible person but at the same time, get her out!
2006-12-14 06:17:34 · 36 answers · asked by Larisa R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
gosh, my best friend had this problem. She didn't want the girl to be in the wedding but didn't know how to tell her. This girl had gotten really distant too,but was a complete "act like everything is normal" kind of person...so, she talked to her and said, "You know you really don't have to be in the wedding if you don't want to blah blah blah" and the girl started crying so she ended up being in the wedding after all... My friend totally regrets her being in it though. So I would really just be straight up with this girl and tell her that "since I asked you to be a bridesmaid things have changed and I fell like you don't want to be in the wedding anyway, so I think it would be best if you weren't a bridesmaid anymore. " Maybe if you do it in a nice way with good motives you won't feel so bad about it...
2006-12-14 10:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine that she probably knows inside her heart of hearts that she is poisoning your wedding already. Honesty is always the best policy (I know it sounds so simplistic) and as such you should sit down with this person and let her know how you are feeling. How she is treating others in the party and your fiance should also be brought up and then tell her face to face that you think for the best of all involved it would be best is she not take place in your wedding. If she has already purchased her bridesmaid dress you would probably be wise to reimburse her for this cost if she cannot return it. Inform her that this is your big day and so you are making the decisions and that this is one decision that you wished you never had to make but due to how things have deteriorated over the last while that it is a decision that you are forced to make.
2006-12-14 06:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well she is the one that was asking for it! She must be rude for some reason, maybe she is wanting you to tell her to be out of the wedding?
The correct thing to do, is call her up, tell her how you have been feeling. Tell her whats going on, and let her explain. Tell her she has a choice to be in the wedding or not, but that you need an answer right away.
Who cares if the other girls dont like her, but if she is BEING rude and if you think she will only cause drama, then you need to do something now and quick.
2006-12-14 06:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would be very blunt and honest with her about how she is acting towards you, and everyone else around you. Tell her that she's being really rude and that you no longer want her to attend any of your wedding events if she's going to act that way. If she really cared about you and your big day, she would straighten up and stop being so rude and disrespectful. If she doesn't care, then so be it. Maybe she wasn't the right person to have at your bridal party.
2006-12-14 06:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be warned, that booting her out of the wedding will probably ruin your friendship with her forever. This is why should think carefully before asking people to stand up for you.
First, ask yourself if you could have had something to do with how she's acting. Have you been a bit of a bridezilla, maybe a bit too demanding? Have you spent a lot of time focusing on your wedding and neglecting to maintain your friendships?
If you still want her out, then tell her in person. Try and do it as gently as possible, without accusing her of anything. And bring a check to reimburse her for the bridesmaid dress.
2006-12-14 06:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG! i know exactly how you feel. I recently got married and i had the same problem. I also had a friend that for some reason we stoped hanging out and then she became a to total B*T*H. I didn't want her to come out either but i had no choice. I didn't have the guts to tell her i didn't want her in my bridal party no more. So i just stuck it up and didn't tell her anything. I wasn't that bad. But if i had the ball i would of done it. So just go for you're gut. Tell her how you feel and how everyone feels about maybe she'll get the point!her.
2006-12-14 06:26:16 · answer #6 · answered by Tookey11 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she's become like that, I would just be honest with her. Tell her that she's being rude and mean to others in the wedding party and you will not allow that because it is your day. Tell her this is a happy occasion and if she cannot be nice and respectable toward others in the wedding party, then you will tell her not to be a part of your wedding day. If she cannot respect that, then it's her problem not yours. Weddings are meant to be a happy occasion not one that makes others miserable because of what one person in the wedding party is doing.
2006-12-14 07:05:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
straight up, i know we've been friends for a while, lately ur attitude have gotten a little out control i'm sorry if i hurt ur felling but i dont want u on my bridal party this is a once in a life time event u want to be happy especially ur finance. And lastly would rather hurt one person's feelings or every body else thats taking part including u and ur finance?
2006-12-14 06:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by liberianboy2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe have a heart-to-heart that isn't accusatory, but more thoughtful. Ask about what's going on and what might be bothering her. Try not to be defensive when she says you care more about the wedding (or whatever) than her. Acknowledge that you've changed your focus, but she's still an important person in your life (even if that's not 100% true). I just think giving her a chance to air her feelings might strengthen your bond rather than creating troublesome wedding dramas. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-14 06:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by the truth 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd go with "honesty is the best policy"....I really don't think there's a nicer way to tell someone you don't want them in your bridal party anymore than just coming out and saying it. Be honest and she'll have to respect that, it's YOUR wedding!
2006-12-14 06:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by Elsie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋