My grandparents raised me since eight years old. My father has lived off his parents for forty years. Now he is penniless and expects me to care for him. What should I do?
2006-12-14 06:14:36 · 10 answers · asked by Dragon's Breath 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Since you have no other contact information, I have no other choice to inform you.
In reference to:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhpwPKm_5KSXzid3FwU4WJjzy6IX?qid=20061214081236AA3wMGL
I beleive you are mistaken when you say the subs will be out of phase when wired in series like so:
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j230/sparky3489/SERIES.jpg
This WIL NOT cause the subs to "deflect one way, and the other speaker would deflect the opposite direction" since they are in series.
Now they would act exactly how you describe if one were to wire + to + in a series fashion.
Try this experiment yourself and you will see. Wire up two speakers as I have illistrated and supply a small 9 volt battery to them in the place of the amp. You will see both speakers push out with the correct polarity. Now wire the two + together and repeat. You will see they both oppose as you suggest.
It's the same with batteries, connect two batteries in series (+ to -) and the volts will add together, connect them + to + and you will get the difference of the batteries.
2006-12-14 09:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is love your father. You dont need to support him! He is old enough to get his own job, and its sad that your grandparents left him take all of their money! Someone needs to direct this man on a different path, called "Get a job, and support yourself".
Its okay to HELP your father every once in a while, but there must be a boundry where He can not cross. And before you give him any money, you need to make sure you are able to say NO to him. Because it sounds like he is "Maluputive"
Dont feel obligated... You have a chance to live your life the way you want it.
2006-12-14 14:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have zero obligations towards him.
He was not responsible while you were growing up...also, he is a grown-up that needed the assistnace of his parents...why? And now still...why?
He needs to wake up, get a grip, and start taking care of himself. He needs to get a job, and learn how to live, cook, wash, etc.
He may have been pampered and hampered for too long, and he never learned how to be responsible, self-suuficient, independent.
It would be wrong for you to feel guilty or responsible and to continue this unhealthy pattern!!!
You are a person, he is too. See it like he is a neighbor, or Mr. Hudson from Patooty Island, Nova Scotia.
Had he been self-sufficient, responsible, and independent before, he would have raised you, helped his parents as well, and not have been a burden to anyone. He would also have a nest egg for emergencies, some money for you, your college, or his grand children...some day...but that is not on his mind. Therefore, he is not "dad", he is only Mr. Hudson from Patooty Islands, not your fault, his.
He must stand up for his failings. It is his doing, his life.
Sounds tough...but it is healthy for the both of you to be independent of one another. Avoid co-dependency...be cold if need be.
He will try to make you feel bad, he will either crash and hit bottom or he will "grow".
2006-12-14 14:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by schnikey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fathers an adult and it's time he learns to stand on his own two feet. You will always be his daughter and there's nothing that can change that. You have your own mind and have to do as it tells you to do. I don't think I'd go as far as supporting him. It seems he's been supported by others his whole life and as you see now it hasn't gotten him anywhere. If you want to help here and there that's up to you really. But if you choose not to I wouldn't have any guilt feelings about it. good luck to you. ;o)
2006-12-14 14:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am not sure in what way he wants you to care for him, but I think you should let compassion rule the day. What is the harm in helping him out? Not offering a crutch or a way to be a bum, but helping the guy out. Sometimes we just need someone to look after us becuase we don't have any way to do it for ourselves. You'll feel better if you just offer the guy unconditional love, and act it out. You can still protect yourself in this, but show compassion.
2006-12-14 14:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by twicewise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should always honor and respect your father but maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you feel about the whole situation... explain to him that you did not really feel that he was there for yeah, that he was not truly a fatherly figure in your life and that although you want to help him and you love him you simply cannot be expected to foot the bill for him... after all, you have yourself to take care of too....
2006-12-14 14:22:40 · answer #6 · answered by ¡Sarita! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no obligation to anyone but to yourself.
It sounds like people have been taking care of your father when it is his responsibility to take care of himself. The best way to help him is to take care of yourself and allow him to find his own way rather than depending on others.
This sounds harsh, however his parents were unable to teach him to be independent and to take care of himself. All he knows is how to guilt or manipulate others into taking care of him. This is unhealthy for everyone involved. He doesn't take care of himself because he didn't have to.
The greatest gift you can give him and yourself is to allow him to help himself.
2006-12-14 14:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but maybe it's time your dad take care of himself. He lived off his parents and now he wants to live off of you, unless he is disabled in some way and can't physically work there is no reason to live off of anybody. You take care of yourself and let your dad fend for himself. Good luck!!!
2006-12-14 21:37:13 · answer #8 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it sounds harsh, but you can't provide for him. You have your own life. Help him to find a job and a place to live, but you are not required to take care of him, financially OR physically.
2006-12-14 14:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand your ground with him so he doesn't take advantage. There is nothing wrong with helping him out at times, but you should not be his caretaker.
If you do too much for him you will be enabling him and he will never take care of himself.
2006-12-14 14:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋