Okay my name is Lily, and lets just say I am in my teens okay?
My little sister, Anna, who is 13, just lost her virginity to some 16 year old CREEP who likes to have sex with little girls!
I am so disgusted with both of them. I found out first, and of course I told my parents, and she was punished by grounding and them keeping a really close eye on her, and they acted all disapointed and stuff, and took her to a counseler.
Okay I admit it, I am 15, and I am not gonna like ''save myself for marrige'' or I might but I am not some kind of old fashioned oldie.
I will lose it when I want to but 13 is wayyyy to young.
Now my sister is saying she loves him and ants to move in with him and we are all like ''what the hell!?'' no Anna your never seeing him again (i mean, really)
now she is failing 7th grade and is acting all depressed. Any suggestions? (no suggestions from people trying to get me to go on thheir freakin' websites okay?
Thanks in advance!
2006-12-14 05:55:23 · 47 answers · asked by GROOVY LILY 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, Lily it is nice to see someone of your age actually caring about her little sister. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Keep talking to her about this creep, she will come around. Meanwhile, get some of your guy friends to beat the crap out of him or at least threaten him to stay away from her..
2006-12-14 05:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by sheilakel 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Sweetie, sex is over-rated it's not even worth it, you and your little sister should turn your ears the other way when someone even speaks about this thing called SEX. Aids, HIV, Herpes, and BABIES and many more diseases are REAL. These things can not be cured and will not go away. And at your sister age she can't even spell LOVE, and don't know what love is besides loving GOD, her Parents and family she needs to sit down and enjoy life while she stills has the chance to be a child. Being grown isn't fun, like it seems. Yeah you can drive and go out and have fun, etc, but stay a little girl as long as you can, you guys time will come when it comes. you can im me from my profile I'll tell you two some stories about trying to be grown. Stay that teenage girl as long as times permits you too. It seems as though you two have some loving parents that care about you. That's a Blessing within itself. All kids don't have that type of home. Be Blessed I'll be praying gfor your sister.
2006-12-14 06:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by MrsE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is acting more mature than she really is. She seems to be taking things in her own hands by failing her classes and not taking care of herself. You might want to try and just be there for her right now and not lecture her on values; have your parents do that. It's smart to see a counselor. And in the mean time do things with her and get her mind off that stupid boy; she just needs attention and might feel like she isn't getting any from your family and has to compete with you. So if you are there for her as a friend, she might forget about that boy and actually listen to you as an older sister.
2006-12-14 06:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work with her through her counseling. Try to be a positive influence in her life. She is pretty much still a child and needs her self esteem built up. It is great that you are so passionate about her and keeping her from seeing that guy. That is the right thing to do. But with that you must give her love and support by developing a better friendship with her. Hopefully, she will grow to admire you and will want to take your advice and guidance throughout her whole life. This is a great opportunity for you to become her best friend. The more you show interest into her happiness, the happier she will become with herself and she won't allow anyone, especially a guy to control her ever again.
Make sure you keep explaining your passion to protect her with your love for her.
Good luck and good job!!
2006-12-14 06:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister needs love and support not reproach and punishment. And if you can't forgive her how do you expect she would forgive herself? The matter has been pictured to her as an unpardonable sin or loss; the thing that has resulted in despair and abstention. Despair means she has nothing to be careful about (she lost her virginity) and abstention as she wants to prove that what she has done is right and OK and she determines to go on it to prove you are wrong.
I think it is necessary to embrace her to feel safe and secure. Then she should be shown that at their age they are still too young to bear the responsibility of their relationship as they can not be committed to each other. Finally, dealing with the matter as any daily life mistakes that can be put right if we can learn from this mistake. However, the most important thing is the family love, support, tolerance and indirect guidance.
2006-12-14 06:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by rambahan_1953 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work in a middle school and I see so much of this, children having sex and thinking they are grown up. They end up children having children if the parents don't stay very strict and watch them closely. They should never have the opportunity to be alone with anyone, no matter what they say, don't let them go to their 'friends" house unless you know the parents personally and can trust them to watch them like their own. And once they have sex they will never be a virgin again.
2006-12-14 06:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well usually when someone loses their virginity they have that "attachment" to that person-- unless they are more mature and can see if it was real or a mistake..... obviously this was a mistake, no one at 13 should be in that possition.... i think as you are her older sister-- even just by a couple years... have a talk with her-- tell her that at her age she could do some serious damage to herself, both emotionally and physically. at 13 most girls bodies arent ready for that kind of penetration. so really it's unhealthy for her to be doing that. and then you need to help her because she's obviously not in the right state of mind or she wouldn't have been put in that situation. i think she needs a confidence boost and then to realize that all guys want is sex... and she needs to know that doesn't mean they love you wanna marry you date you take you out to dinner, sh!t now days it doesn't even mean they know your name..... if they can get laid they will--- she needs to know all this information or she will definitely find herself in a place that she doesn't want to be in..... so i think that it is your job to inform her of what is really going on
2006-12-14 06:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only thing to do is continue with the counselor or find a better one. You could try talking to her since you are her older sister and she may listen to you better than she would your parents. I wouldn't want her to end up getting pregnant at such a young age, so maybe you could mention to her that she could end up pregnant moving in with him. haha"old fashioned oldie" well, I don't waiting until marriage is being old fashioned, that's actually in the Bible. But I know how the world is today and many people don't wait until marriage. I wouldn't recommend losing it when you want to, but when you're ready for it and its consequences because something like that can change your life-as you see happening with your sister.
2006-12-14 06:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jesus, it almost sounds like she's been brainwashed. as far as what you can do for her, all i can think of is that even though she's clearly wrong, try to be there for her as a friend, cuz wrong or right, she's still hurting. try to hang out with her extra to help take her mind off of things a bit. when family is what it's supposed to be, it can help keep you grounded, which is definitely what she needs right now. good for you for looking out for your little sis even when i'm sure it wasn't easy. good luck.
and fairchild, you're a moron. you can't always reason with a 13 year old, and this girl was in danger. sometimes you HAVE to bring parents into it. the sister's safety is a lot more important than her being upset about getting grounded.
2006-12-14 06:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be supportive of her..not of what she did (of course). The more your family and you are dramatizing the situation the more she will act out and be depress. You should focus on the positive it's Christmas time try to do some activities together. Go out with her, go to the mall or something , go see a movie with her. Try to talk to her and see what is going on with her, don't judge her by saying it's disgusting! (even if i agree with you 13 is too young, but it's to late she already done it.). that will maybe help you when you will have your own kids some day....
2006-12-14 06:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by megalura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's at a very critical age and she truely thinks that the whole world is a bunch of idiots and she's the one who's right at this point..she'll stay depressed for a while and then she'll find that it's useless, she might fail and thats not the end of the world, the important thing is that this is a phase that she'll get past, but it's very important to keep her surrounded so we wont do sthg stupid, get her best friends to talk some sense into her, play the role of the caring sister and be by her side, try not to tell her ur opinion so frankly, at least pretend that u understand but u can see clearer...stick to her, she'll be alrite
2006-12-14 06:02:12 · answer #11 · answered by GucciRush 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋