why cant i get a decent man to like me. all my friends are in love and have been engaged for a while or have a bf and kids and all that. i am tired of always being the third wheel and feeling left out because i dont have a bf. i want to be happy and feel good about myself but every time we go out i m left alone bec they wanna go off and do something. i want to be in love and get married and have kids. i am only 19 but when is it my turn . i feel pressure everyday to look like these models on tv. bec i dont i feel fat and ugly and they tell me that everyday. when is it my turn and when is it okay to tell my friends i am feed up. i dont want them to get mad. help someone
2006-12-14 05:45:10 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when i began to read your question, i thought that you were a 40 something women, not a 19 yrs old. If you seem to be desperate for a man, they will not be attracted to you. and they may even be with you for the wrong reasons. Be patient. Some of the answers that others have posted have good advice.
2006-12-15 04:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by Dulcinea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'd hate to say it but it is so true. If you are overweight and aren't COMFORTABLE about it then go WORK OUT. You'll feel so good about yourself when you get over it. you don't have to be pencil thin to get a man. Even people who are overweight get married, have families and are very happy if you haven't NOTICED! Size really doesn't have anything to do with relationships or happiness- its how you feel about yourself.
Second, if you aren't overweight then take a good look at yourself. Make sure you aren't sloppy. Be presentable EVERY DAY. that doesn't mean pile on pound of makeup but just take care of yourself. Get a makeover if you have to. If you don't feel pretty then people wont see you as such.
Third if being the third wheel bothers you then try hanging out more with some of your single friends. And if you don't have any single friends then MAKE SOME.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. THAT IS SUCH A FEMALE MISCONCEPTION!!!!
Companions are a luxury not a necessity! You should only get luxury things if you can afford them or else you wont have the means to keep them. interpret this how you will but if you aren't mentally or emotionally mature to handle a mate then stay single until you are.
2006-12-14 05:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by nappyhappiness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nineteen is pretty young to be feeling this way. However, if you're going out with friends who already have boyfriends, it's not as likely you'll find anyone while you're with them. How's about going out with friends who also are looking to meet guys? And for the weight...look around you. I see a lot more chunky wives than I do model thin ones. Work on having a positive attitude; a friendly smile and a relaxed persona. You've got plenty of time to settle down but it doesn't work for you if you seem desperate or needy. That scares guys off.
2006-12-14 05:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are only 19 and ask yourself the question, "have I really sampled all the chocolates in the box?" Us as women want to settle down early and have kids, it's genetic make up of the generations. I'm also 19 and went through a serious relationship and couldn't wait to be engaged and then we broke up. Alot of my friends are engaged also, but it may not be your time yet to have that luxury. Go out, have fun and relax....let your hair down and have a little fun. Some good advice I got was once you stop looking for people to be with and are no longer interested in dating........you've found the one.
To answer your pencil problem, you, i'm sure are beautiful the way you are....if you try to change yourself it is harder for people to accept you. Be yourself. You will know Mr. Right when he comes along because he will accept for who you are. If your friends make you act like a different person tell them and if they blow you off........they are not your true friends. Trust me, i'm sure you have many loving people around you that care about you and you don't even know it.
Best of luck to you hon. Be yourself and confident....hold your head high. You are beautiful the way you are.
2006-12-14 05:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by MickeyD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey l don't think it has to do with your looks. You sound very negative to me. You seem to be seeing only the bad side of things. Believe it or not, those vibes can be sensed miles away and that might be what is turning guys away from you. Try to start thinking in a more positive way and you'll see things will improve.
As for your friends, you need to tell them how you feel, because if you don't, then they won't know. Just be careful how you say things and if they are really true friends they will listen to you and take in consideration what you are saying, if not, they are not worth hanging out with.
Good luck to you
2006-12-14 05:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame it all on the guys. The fact that you aren't feeling so hot about yourself right now may be a part of it, too.
As an example, have you ever noticed a guy who wasn't all that great looking, but he had confidence, a good sense of humor, or whatever it is that you like in a man?
It isn't always about appearance, despite what the Victoria's Secret ads would have you believe.
2006-12-14 05:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by Steve H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow,I can read the honesty and sincerety in your question.My heart goes out to you.I feel the same way as you exactly.Thankfully my roomates were together in a relationship that just ended and its not pretty.So I'm like thankful i'm not in a relationship right now.They are really going thru hell.
Maybe our lesson is patience.When you're jelous or envious of those around you it certainly doesn't make you look any better.
Not all guys like the pencil thin look either.Hang in thier,hold your head high;better things are waiting on the horizen.Thier are plenty of guys that would LOVEto be in a relationship with you.
I'm too old or I would ask you to e-mail me.Pull yourself out of that slump your in,really,better things await you!
2006-12-14 05:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by Mark K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey your still young, and at your age most of your friends who are engaged will be broken up or divorced within 5 years. You don't need to be pencil thin, you need a good attitude and to take care of yourself. If your weight is really bothering you start an excersise regime and cut back on junk food.
My best friend is over weight but men seem to flock to her, she is alot fun, dresses nice and always does her hair and makeup when going out. She is 25.
2006-12-14 05:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by krissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gosh your 19 just enjoy life!
Get involved with volunteer work and stop thinking about yourself, think about others, then these thoughts won't whirl around in your head and you will be happy.
I didn't get married until 21 my Mom was like 31!!
Don't worry marriage is a big committment better married late than divorced 3 times before your 30th birthday!
2006-12-14 05:49:31 · answer #9 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really isn't the fact that you look like that on the outside - it's the fact that what you feel on the inside protrays on the outside. You have to make youself be positive about the situation. And if you are unhappy with the situation on the outside then you have to come to the conclusion of changing that situation. Until you are truly happy with yourself, you will probably not find anyone who is happy about it neither. Love you self & then someone can love you. Good Luck :-)
2006-12-14 05:54:40 · answer #10 · answered by FeeLnUFeeLnMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋