cell phone and he has been coming up to her work. i felt something was up and we got into an argument and i kicked her out. That was when she started sleeping w/him. She broke it off w/him and a few days later he went back to jail...his second home... The guy she screwed is a loser kid ..like 21 or something..We are both in our late 20's. She begged me to take her back. Which i reluctently did. i still love her very much...and was going good unitl i found out she is writing him from work and having somebody mail it to the jail where he is at. He has wrote her back too. I told her whatever happens, he is not gonna be able to talk when he gets out, much less write!!!! I feel as if i've been betrayed not once but twice!!! she promised it wouldn't happen again. I want to believe her but......I never gave her a reason to cheat in the first place. She had nothing when i me her. I've given her everything i can. I told her i'm not stupid. I'm not putting up w/b s!! what should i do?
2006-12-14 05:37:03 · 45 answers · asked by brien w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Once a cheater, always a cheater. File for divorce. Go to court and get FULL custody of your kids (who needs a wh0re for a mother?), and move on with your life.
If you want to meet a better class of women, try someplace other than bars. There are a lot of single mothers out there that would just love to meet a single father willing to commit to a stable relationship!
2006-12-14 06:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She had nothing when i met her.
That's a problem! Big problem.
1. It's not likely that she appreciates anything that you have given to her. You cannot buy her affection or fidelity.
2. Her value system is significantly different from yours. You cannot give her a reason to be unfaithful - she already has several of her own.
Here's the deal: When she met you BC (before children), you were a fun guy with money to spend. You guys had a great time together. Hey! Let's get married.
Fast-forward 3-5 years: Got two small children needing constant attention 7x24. You are working all the time enjoying the company of other interesting adults. She's stuck with the small fry at home after she gets off work. What's missing? You and your time.
You are NOT a fun guy any more. Both of you have jobs and kids to parent. You come home too tired to do more than eat, watch TV and go to bed. Not exactly the "man of action" that she married.
What should you do:
- A real date at least 1-2 times per week without the kids
- You take care of the kids while she rests 3-4 nights per week
- Physical affection at least 1-2 times per day
- Vacation weekend every 90 days
- Courtship EVERY day
Go get her, Tiger
2006-12-14 05:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you to should get some counselling (first step), if you really do love her. It will be hard to trust her now but remember it's a marriage and there's always a give & take (now i'm not saying that you're wrong for what you did, you have all rights to react that way) but for the childrens sake, discuss it over, tell her you want to know where you stand in this marriage now.
If you see that you can't trust her any more (cause trust is the most important part in a relationship) or she's still f**king up. Then take the (second step) "divorce". Because at the end of the day YOU need to be happy!
But make sure you give it your 100% shot.
Any woman would be lucky to have you
Good Luck!
2006-12-14 06:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Yasmine_flower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses
I've been there. Don't let her use you any longer
Believing her stories might makes the pain go away for a while, but it will only come back worse
Sooner or later you will have to deal with it.
She obviously has no concern for your feeling or what she is doing to the family.
If you want custody of the kids, stay calm and get all the dirt you can on her. Get an attorney and put spyware on her computer
2006-12-14 05:46:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see a counselor. She went to somebody else for a reason. Give her the venue to express why she did it without you going bezerk. 'Cause I really get this vibe that you are not as nice and kind and understanding as you're making it seem. Besides, a lot of times, that victim (which you are portraying yourself as, and have a right to) sh*t is over-played and overated. I can understand your refussal to be disrespected and cheated on, but you took her back, so you basically, without saying it, you committed yourself to making it work with her.
So be a man (and make sure so understand my meaning in saying this), ask her what's going on between the two of you, and try to LISTEN. It may turn out that she is just a dirty woman that you need to let go of, or she may impress upon you that you don't pay enough attention to her or show her enough affection, and that's what she ent to the other guy in search of. Just be man enough to hear her, even when it hurts like hell, Even when you want to call her a nasty so-and-so, fight that temptation. That's really just the devil wanting to corrupt you further as a man and as husband and the head of your household. Forget the other guy for right now too. He doesn't even need to exist in the realm of you two working on your marriage.
So much more to say, but this is a good start for you. Good luck, and God Bless.
2006-12-14 05:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by mezhenari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave her a second chance, which a heck of a lot more than I would have been willing to do.
I'm sorry to tell you that she was probably sleeping with him prior to you kicking her out.
If she can disrespect you and your boys like this, then she needs to be gone, for good.
Do not take matters into your own hands when it comes to him. Leave him out of it. The problem lies with your wife. Divorce her, get custody of the boys, and try to put your lives back in order.
Tough thing to do, but I have been in your shoes. It is not a fun time and there will be planty more drama in the future, but stick by your guns.
Good Luck
2006-12-14 05:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry buddy, I have lived through the same thing. You feel as if your world is torn apart. You love them so much but at the same time you are devastated. You have to move on with your life. If she cheated once she will do it again obviously. You are her security blanket. Ditch her before it gets too serious. Also, you are blaming the wrong person. She waived herself to him and he accepted. If she truely loved and respected you she would have never cheated. Keep your head up and remember she isn't the only person that you have ever dated. Therefore, you know that once the pain goes away someone else will come into your life.
2006-12-14 05:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by Clarence Q 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm particularly sorry to take heed to approximately this. Your spouse is a tramp. She'll on no account substitute. you would be able to desire to document for divorce. by using fact she cheated on you-you have got the means to get finished custody of your boys. Why stay along with her and make your self loopy ? Get your boys out of there and document for divorce. verify there's a DNA attempt to substantiate they are even yours. If she cheats while you're married she additionally cheated on you previously you have been married. the lads would or is probably no longer yours.in case you reside married to her you will on no account have the means to have confidence her and you would be living a lie. which will harm you and your sons for something of your lives. i'm sorry you haven't any longer any help interior of your loved ones and no pals you are able to refer to. perhaps you will see that a marriage counselor ? in spite of you do document FOR DIVORCE from this terrible guy or woman.
2016-10-14 22:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not in love w/you anymore if she's cheating & still in touch w/this guy. She loves him now, your just probably her "safety net" since you give her everything. I urge you to start focusing now on your 2 kids. Don't let love make you blind. If a wife can't be faithful, especially after being forgiven the first time then she's not worth a 2nd or 3rd chance. Your just setting yourself up for another heart break & much added stress to your life.
2006-12-14 05:44:13 · answer #9 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you for recognizing what is going on., but don't forget you are MARRIED. You made a sacred vow and I'm pretty sure adultery isn't considered a loophole. Go to couseling to find out what her problem is. If that doesn't help then karma will kick in and karma is a *****. Please keep your boys best interest, don't expose them to a disfunctional home. Continue to be a good dad and if you wife continues a self destructive course well just remember "till death do us part." *LOL* Believe me it will work out for you as long as you do your part- it may take time and patience but either she will turn from her ways and become a great wife, or the Heavens will remove her from your life.. it's either one of the other but in the long run you will be a happy man again.
2006-12-14 05:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by nappyhappiness 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋