So my bf and I have been dating for 4 months. He's 23, and I'm 22. We go to the same school. Everything has been great; he told me he loves me. I love him, etc. A few weeks ago, he told me he found out his ex is dating again (he dated her for 3 years and broke up with her shortly before coming to school). He said he's a little jealous and is worried that could mean he still has feelings for her. I was kind of upset at first, but I went through the same thing when my ex started dating again. Anyway, our relationship has gotten so much better since then. We spend a lot of time together, and he told me I'm probably the best person he's ever met and he feels really lucky to be dating me. Even so, he left today to go home for Christmas (he lives in MN, but we go to school in VA). He's going to see his ex over break to make sure his feelings are nothing to worry about. He told me that unless something big happens he can't imagine not wanting to date me. Should I worry?
2006-12-14 05:17:20 · 12 answers · asked by skichamonix515 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wouldn't worry. he loves you, that's all... I understand his feelings, i felt the same way when i last broke up... on the other side, i refused to date for a long time... untill i really didn't care what my ex did, or who she was sleeping with....
took me a long time, but once i got to that point, now i'm dating again... i didn't want to date some one else because i didn't want to be unfair to them...
2006-12-14 05:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its really great he has been this open and honest with you and you've been this graceful to receive the information without over reacting. I think that takes two strong people and is admirable in a relationship.
On the other hand, we are all human and sometimes we get confused and sometimes we know what we want. But most importantly, freedom is the key. If you truly love him, then let him be happy. If he wants to be with her and stays with you is he happy? If he is with you now but truly not happy because his heart wanders(for whatever reasons) will you both be happy later?
Point is, do not worry if you can. Enjoy today for what it is and let whatever happens happen. It is out of your control to do anything more than love him for who he is. Be his friend first and then you will not lose him forever. Be his lover first and you could lose his friendship too.
Best of luck!
2006-12-14 14:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, you should, a little.
If he loves you, he has no reason whatsoever to see her while home for Christmas. NONE.
He obviously still has feelings for her and will seek out a second chance with her while there.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, I'm sorry.
You should tell him before he leaves, that you think you both should see other people. When he's gone, you might or might not go out on a date or two, just to make sure that you "only have feelings for him". whats good for the goose...
He doesn't respect you, if he's going to do this... just to see if something big happens.. BS I say.
2006-12-14 13:21:59 · answer #3 · answered by jairman2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good friend would tell you not to worry, but the real world would say the oppostite. If you get jealous by seeing ur ex with another person it just means that you cared about them once and it just hurts. It doesn't mean you like them, but some people can't tell the difference. Give him time to straighten it all out. Don't worry, he'll see that your the right one for him. :)
2006-12-14 13:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by Bored silly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing is for sure in life, so enjoy your life and don't worry, maybe he needs to let go that old story in this way. leave him doing what he told you, don't ask any questions after meeting him again, slowly slowly he will talk about it with you, if he really loves you. be as patient as you can and maybe you will win his whole heart, or if he isn't ready to give you his whole heart, so it will show and you can be strong and going on for someone better 4 you.
2006-12-14 13:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by Elena S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah. Dont worry about it. Its like in Date Movie, when the guy has a chance to marry like that blond hottie, but he doesnt because he loves the red head chiq. It will be just fine.
2006-12-14 13:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by Erin T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may want to make sure that he does not have feelings for her because if it turns out that he does it would not be fair to you because he will not be able to give 100% of his heart to you. If you trust him then dont worry, and if he REALLY loves you then this will only make your relationship stronger, cause then you will both know that you are together because you want to be not just cause you dont want to be alone.
2006-12-14 13:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by schally31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's saying your second best and he's going to find out if his prior girlfriend will have him back, otherwise, he'll settle with you. It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship if he doesn't know if he wants to be with you until he consults his ex-girlfriend.
2006-12-14 13:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you're gonna worry. How can you not? Ask him to Please make contact. (since you'll be worrried, not knowing, the whole time he's gone) And you dont want to intrude on his time at home with family, by calling. But it would make your holiday complete if he called you. ;)
2006-12-14 13:23:59 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, unless when you see him again and he is wearing her underwear, then if that doesnt happen your good.
2006-12-14 13:21:18 · answer #10 · answered by Shocker3:16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋