how to change this 6 y/o around?

Question

my friend has a fatherless 6 year old who is the most rotton child i ever encountered. he is only 6 but he can lie cheat steal manipulate and talk back to whoever is in his way. he wants everything he sees, half the time just because he sees it. and if you dont buy him everythig at the store, you better make sure he ain't pocketing anything the little sh*t. he go down the aisles 'everybody hates me, i never get anything' . i told him all he had to do was be good in the store and he can play xbox when we get back to my house, hell no he can't remain calm in the parking lot. i don't think the little brat even knows what being good means. and it's hard for me because i don't always see him, i can't disciplne him. if i had him he would be in a toyless room for a very long time, till he figured it out that you have to behave, oh i'd beat him if he talked like that, on the way back from the store he tell s his mom to shut up, i told him he is NOT allowed to say that to his mother

he says she deserves it! btw she is pregnant with another fatherless child due in 3 months. what can be done for him, who never had any dicsipline at all? i guess he will be in juvenille hall by the time he is 10

Answer 1

the mom needs to either speak with someone or read about what she can do as a parent, but what any counselor is going to say is that kids do things because they get positive reinforcement for doing them. when a kid yells and screams, you need to be firm in what you said at first, even if you change your mind and think the child is right. the child will eventually see that he is wasting his time screaming and won't do it any longer. once patterns have begun to change, he can be rewarded for being good, but you simply cannot waiver.

at dinnertime, force him to eat what he is supposed to eat and if he doesn't eat that, don't give him anything else to eat. he will eventually eat well and realize that he's not the one in charge.

it is a better punishment to reason with a kid and give him time out than to spank them. kids have consciences. make them think about what they've done.

Answer 2

The good news is he isn't your problem. The bad news is that you care about the person who made him a problem. Mom's going to have to start sticking up for herself (and stop getting pregnant with guys who disappear--she's raising the same kind of man right now). Maybe he needs a "scared straight" program, or better yet, maybe you can help Mom find him a mentor at school or a rec center nearby: a positive male role model he can imitate and learn from. He needs to get himself turned around before he does end up in Juvie. Good luck--

Answer 3

It seems like you really like your friend if not you wouldnt be around them. Now if the child behaves that way it is not because he does not have a father, its more likely that your friend feels bad for him because of that and she lets him walk all over her and do what he pleases. But that is not the right way to discipline him. She needs to let him know she is the boss not him, it is a long procees and very hard but once she starts she has to be concistent about it. I have 3 children I was living with my ex, father of these children and my oldest was this way. I separated him about 2 years ago and found a new man which has helped me discipline all my children, his technique is really easy. He is always there for them they need alot of love and need you to spend time with them playing and reading and talking. When we go out if they dont behave he lets them know they will get no games or their favorite hobbies, gives them 2 warnings if they keep up the act once we get home he does what he said No games means no games! You have to be consistent about it because children are really smart and if you dont do what you say they know that they can get away with anything. Now it seems like he knows that if he tells all of you that no one loves him he does get away with things. My oldest now 11 last year he tried to throw a dining chair at me, now he is more respectful and listens alot more. And they all love my boyfriend. I dont think i could of done it myself. It is hard and she might need alot of help so let her know and im sure you are willing to help her. Tell her how much you care and let her know you can help. Theres no such thing as bad children only bad parents that think we are doing the right thing but are actually hurting our children.

Answer 4

mom needs to take some parenting classes and get 6 yo into couseling. mom needs to stop having fatherless children and seek help of seasoned parents in how to handle these situations. Good Luck and be glad you aren't in her shoes!

Answer 5

The mother should try taking parenting classes, although its really hard to suggest to someone that they do it. It's hard to be in your position because it's not really your place to say anything until she comes to you for help.

Answer 6

You can't. The woman who gave birth to him needs to step up and be his mother. If she won't, there is nothing you can do. Not our kid, not your problem. If he won't behave for you, don't take him places or watch him for her.

Answer 7

you cant do anything sadly.

but the only way to solve it is to discipline the kid, no two ways around it.