because she was once raped
2006-12-14 05:01:54 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Obviously, she was traumatized by being raped, and now she doesn't want to do anything sexual anymore. She needs therapy - and I hope she's getting some counseling - but there is the possiblity that she may never want to have sex again.
You've got a choice to make - you can love her and support her, knowing that you may not get sex for a long time, and you might not ever get sex again, or you can decide to leave her and find a girlfriend who hasn't suffered violent sexual trauma.
2006-12-14 05:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be understanding and supportive because that is something that will always be an issue with her. You never get over that kind of violation and it is a shame because it will affect every relationship you have for the rest of your life. It may affect her ability to have a normal sexual relationship. I would just wait and don't push it because that will only make it more uncomfortable and a rape victim does not need pressure in this area because it is haunting and extremely uncomfortable. Good luck and be patient, it sound like you are a good boyfriend because you are concerned for her.
2006-12-14 05:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
okay first off if she was raped and she is telling you that she does not want sex then leave it alone. She was violated. You shouldn't push sex into your relation ship because that is one of the worst things to do. You have to understand where she is comming from. It is going to take her a little while to redeam herself. I'm not trying to be mean I am trying to help you so don't think that I am. But yeah just don't push it or talk about it with her and maybe she will redeam and have sex with you. Good luck hunny!
2006-12-14 05:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by Haley Candace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to get it from her until she is emotionally ready. She might need counseling because once a girl has something like that happen to her it is really hard to see men in a different light. That is an absolutely horrible act and it should never be taken lightly. She needs to be able to trust all men again. Don't get angry with her about this. She knows you would never do that to her, but it's more complex than that.
2006-12-14 05:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by Valerie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well it depends on how long you have been together.if she has been raped there is a good chance of bad emotions and crazy thoughts.look i don,t know this stuff but maybe asking her to try it and if it bothers then you will stop cause you dont want to scare her or hurt her ok.also you should help her get some kind of counseling so she can talk to someone about this matter.
2006-12-14 05:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Shyte I Was Once Raped To i Knoe where that gurl is coming from but if i were you would just stop asking here about having sex and then wait until she is ready and if you don't like that then get lost because if you don't let her be thats ****** up... Just get in her shoes for one second and see how she feels shyte...
2006-12-14 05:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by enjoying_lyfe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk with her and find out what if anything you can do to help her feel more comfortable around you. She is probably suffering from the inability to trust, . . . but you can help. Be her freind first, and help her over this roadblock to intamacy. You may find it is very rewarding for you emotionally and physically. However, if you are just out for a good time and don't want to get serious, it may be better for you to find a woman with the same relational goals.
2006-12-14 05:07:40 · answer #7 · answered by captainkirkwood 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Then be understanding. Don't make her feel like she's forced into having sex just because you have raging male hormones. Let her go back into the world of sexuality on her own terms, she'll thank you for it later.
2006-12-14 05:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Keep her. Treasure her. Treat her like a queen. Offer her, (non-sexual) genuine affection frequently without strings. Listen to her. Respect her.
If you do these things you will gain the love and respect of a woman dedicated to you.
2006-12-14 05:10:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, first, i think she needs to see a counselor... there are counselor's that specialize in rape victims, she needs to see one of them...
now, i think you need to sit back and think, do you really want to pressure some one for sex? imagine what you asking for it is doing to this girl?? you got a hand man, use it till she's better, help her along! asking her for sex right now, will just hurt her, and later on hurt your relationship with her... you don't want that, so get her to a rape therapist, and use your palm.
2006-12-14 05:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋