I'm 10 weeks pregnant, and single. Now, before all of you go and say, "DON'T DATE OTHERS, BE WITH THE FATHER!!" we have both decided that it's better for the child to not be together so our child is not raised in a home with battling parents. I'm going out on a blind date tonight, and I don't know if it's appropriate to tell him that I'm pregnant on the first date, or if i should wait and see where it all goes. I just don't want to scare this guy off.
2006-12-14 04:30:07 · 26 answers · asked by Just a girl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You are a woman, not just some martyr to motherhood. If you want to date, you absolutely should. You'll have better luck if you tell him right away. Many men might be turned off by this, but some others might love the idea of a ready-made family.
Even if it scares him at first, if he really likes you and you two make a connection, it really can work out. I've seen it happen!
2006-12-14 05:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by ez_cheez 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all I want to commend you and the father for making that decision, alot of parents think it is best to stay together for the kids and they couldn't be more wrong especially if there is continuous bickering.
Now having said that, since it is a blind date, I would wait and see how it goes becuz it could be a horrible date and you won't plan on ever seeing him again so there is no point in telling him. If you guys really hit it off and you plan on seeing him again then I would tell him so he can make his own decision before both of you get to involved and get hurt. I was single when I was pregnant but I decided not to date cuz it is a very delicate situation, but everyone is different and more power to you for putting yourself out there.
2006-12-14 12:38:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why would I tell you to be with the father. I'd tell you that you should have been more careful than to get preggers in the first place.
No need to tell a first date, especially a blind date, that you're pregnant. If you do, he'll probably think you're cheap and never call again. He also might think you're trolling for daddy material.
IMO, you shouldn't be dating at all. Sounds like you just dumped the daddy as you're not very far along. Bad form to be out with some unsuspecting man who may have thoughts of potential seriousness and you're bringing extra baggage into the mix before the get-go.
2006-12-14 12:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, the guy is probably going to be scared off no matter what you do, but you should tell him anyway. He might be cool if the date was set as a very casual "meet a new friend, maybe make a connection" thing, but if he's out to meet Ms. Right, he probably won't expect her to be carrying mr. wrong's baby while he's trying to romance her.
But so what? Give it a go, and just make sure that as you're meeting new men you are focusing more on casual friendship and not on a romance. If it happens and it's right, great, but don't make that your purpose.
It takes a really long time to get to know and trust people, and they don't usually show their true colors until they've been around you and comfortable for a long time (like at least a year, in my experience). So focus on the things you know - yourself, and the baby growing inside you - and let other relationships take a backseat to what's really important.
2006-12-14 20:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Emily O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm happy you made a positive choice regarding your child. However I don't know if dating is a good one unless the person already knows your pregnant. What if you get to like this person and he can't handle your portion of being pregnant and then your emotions will be a roller coaster. I suggest hold off on dating "new" people until you have adjusted to living with child and then when the child is born. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-14 12:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by Momma K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you on this... wait and see. There really is no need to air out everything on a first date. For example if you were not pregnant, there are many other personal matters you would not tell, so why would this be different. Sounds like you know how to deal with this already. One day, and one issue at a time.
2006-12-14 12:43:32 · answer #6 · answered by prayingangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him on the first date. It might not get serious with this guy, you may not see him after this date. But, If you like him and he's interested in another date, try to get in at least one more date before you start showing so that you can break it to him easy. And that way, he gets to know you as you and not a pregnant lady, and you can explain that you waited because you weren't sure how things were going to go with you two and you wanted to get to know him before blurting out that you are pregnant.
Also, for the protection of you and your baby, if you have sex with anyone while preg...please use a condom. you don't want to risk harming your child with and STD.
Good luck and congrats!!
2006-12-14 12:40:39 · answer #7 · answered by Laura R 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't date others--PERIOD. Wait until after you have your baby to date. By not telling someone you are going on a date with that you are pregnant is like not telling them you are married. Keeping vital information that could affect your relationship is basically lying. I think most people would be very overwhelmed if they were told on a first,one the less blind,date that their date was pregnant. What if he told you he just got someone pregnant. How would you feel?
2006-12-14 13:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think dating while pregnant is just not a good idea. Women are very hormonal during pregnancy and tend to change their minds frequently. Also you are not going to be the same person after you have the baby. A guy you think you like now may totally turn you off after you have the baby.
Since you are already pregnant you might be tempted not to use any protection which could open you up to STD's which would be harmful to you and potentially fatal to the baby.
My advice. Focus on your baby and your pregnancy and enjoy your nesting time without worrying about men. You have the rest of your life to do that.
2006-12-14 12:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Tanya C 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell him toward the end of the date on the first date. If things click, they do and then there's room for a second date. But if you wait until a 2nd or third date to mention it, you're definitly pushing trust issues and he may wonder what other "baggage" a relationship would get.
2006-12-14 13:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by missionhtg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋