How do you deal with mistakes you have made in the past?

Question

Somebody posted a question "What would you change if you had to do it all over again" I started to answer & i got depressed soI canceled. They say you shouldn't regret anything in life, but I often feelas if I had the opportunity to turn out just as "perfect"as my brother & I didn't, I chose all the wrong things & made all the wrong decisions I was the "rebel" of the family, no I don't like my self & my life perticularly too much & I often feel that I wish I wouldnt have done what I did seen the things I saw been exposed to the peopel I have met...how do I get over that? How do I make peace?

Answer 1

Look at life as being in balance. For every yin, there's a yang. For example: Bob thought everything was going great at his job -- he would have stayed there forever if he could -- then he did something stupid and got fired. A little while later, he was at a far better job with almost 2x's the pay, 1/2 the stress, and he'll never be that stupid again.

Answer 2

Who said that you should never regret anything from your past? No one has made every decision or action in life without have some amount of regret. I regret a lot of things that I did wrong, a lot risks that I did not take, and a lot of people that let go right out of my life, but if given the opportunity to change anything that I did regret not doing differently, I would not. For the sheer fact that every choice that I have made has brought me to this moment today and things aren't perfect but could definitely be worse and secondly, because every regret that I have has served to an extent as a lesson that has helped me grow as a person and I would not change that for anything. You shouldn't beat yourself up over the past either because you have no control over the past only the present and by living with this sort of mindset things will not change for the better and you will only keep dwelling with misery at a time that no longer exists. The best thing that you can do is look back at any wrong-doings in your past and use them to serve as a lesson and as the motivation to make change now and in the future. You can only make peace once you learn to accept that you are powerless to the past and realize that any mistakes that you made at least brought you to the present realization that they weren't right and that they are not what would make you happy or what you should be involved in. See your regrets are pretty much your realization of a lesson, the only problem is that you aren't letting go of it and are punishing yourself rather then letting yourself use it for what it is and gather the momentum to move on. Good luck and take care and remember that life is full of mistakes and regrets and that its all a part of life, but how you learn to accept and grow from them is what will really define the type of life to which you will live.

Answer 3

First you have to forgive yourself. Saying that you feel the way you feel shows you are on the right track. You know you did wrong, and you regret it. Everybody does wrong at some point or another. Some people never learn from their mistakes. Just try to see this as a learning experience. See it as making yourself a better person because you have overcome your obstacles. When you are ready, apologize from the heart to those people you have hurt or otherwise affected by your mistakes. Once that is done, dont beat yourself up anymore about it. Past experiences are something you cannot change. So there is no reason to dwell on the mistakes you have made.
As for your brother, I bet he is not all that perfect. He is probably just very good at hiding his imperfections. I only say that because I have a brother that is the same way. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I have read your other questions, it sounds like you are getting on the right track. It doesn't look like you have that much damage. At least you don't have a kid or two from a sperm donor hanging onto your skirt. After that bum of a bf is gone, set your priorities. Do not date anymore losers. No more guys with kids!!! I don't see how being a makeup artist is a realistic job, perhaps you can get a real job that pays the bills and do make up for a local theater group. Out of that maybe the artist thing will take off. You need to be realistic. Pip dreams rarely come true, but don't loose hope of a better life. Remember, better late than never.

Answer 5

Well first you need to stop comparing yourself to your bro. If you think he is perfect that it wrong. That is your distorted perception. You need to realize you can't change what you have done, and you must remember you made the best choices with the information you had at the time. If you have learned from your mistakes then let it go. Don't dwell on the negative things you have experienced, it won't do you any good. If you are looking to make some changes with the people that surround you then you really need to say no to everyone around and dismiss friends or people who you know are not positive to be around. I had to do that, I got rid of all the drama filled people and was lonely for along time, but now that the drama is not around, my mind is clear and I am making much better choices. So what if people get mad--there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

Answer 6

Begin with not beating yourself up...it's not worth it and it doesn't get you anywhere...forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made...life does not come with a manual and so sometimes we do the wrong thing...don't compare yourself to others, doing so will only cause more doubt about yourself and besides that nobody's perfect...everyone has at some point done or said or allowed something that they're not very proud of...learn from your mistakes and take them as they come; when you feel guilt about something remind yourself that you're not that person any longer and that you would take a different course of action if you could do it all over again...but we can't do it all over again and that's the fact so let go and love yourself for who you are and not what you have done or even what you may do.

Answer 7

I understand where you're coming from. I, too regret alot of the decisions I made and things I did, people I got involved with, etc. The thing is that every day when you wake up you have a chance to start over and make better decisions for that day. Learn from your past mistakes and don't repeat them. That's what life is all about....learning and growing. Look ahead...not back. There is nothing you can do to change the past so make your future the best it can be.

Answer 8

If we were all the same kind of people on earth life as we know it would be boring.
The fact that you learned by your mistakes, are not repeating the behaviour and have moved on are all positive signs.
you can't change the past but you can set the rules for the present and the future.
You must live for today and not the past or you will not be living at all.
Do not compare yourself to a sibling.. its like comparing apples to oranges... we all get different signals as we grown and we all have different personalities...
You obviously got all this stuff out of you already, when you were young... just think of all the people
who have this in their future. Be glad you are on the right path now and are looking to better things for yourself.
Don't beat yourself up... you are human, we all rebel in some way and if you didn't make mistakes how would you ever know when you got it right..... get on with living your life and be happy you survived and learned...

Answer 9

Do NOT live in the past! You cant correct those particular mistakes. Have faith in yourself to make the best choices you know how. Fully appreciate the image that stare back at you daily. ACCEPT yourself for who you are. If there's things you do NOT like about yourself, CHANGE those things to your satisfaction. Begin to enjoy your life and yourself. Life is much too short to be constantly disagreeing with yourself, and or spending all your precious energy on regretting things that you've done in the past. Meditate to accomplish love of self!

Answer 10

To make peace you have to accept you can not change what you have done! Also remember when you are making future decisions to think of the outcomes before you do anything. That will help so you do not rush into anything that you may regret later.

Also QUIT comparing yourself to other people! You are unique and special in your own way. There is no one like you so why would you want to change that and be like someone else???