My finance does not know that I know about it, but I dont know how to approach him without him getting defensive and mad. I just want to know what is going on, he just proposed a week ago... i am so confused!
2006-12-14 04:17:04 · 49 answers · asked by Laura B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you plan on being married these types of confontations will happen a lot. You need to start the dialogue. Be nice... Do not accuse him.. it may be he forgot he had it.. I have one and started dating someone in a serious manner and totally forgot about my 'dating' profile.. that was until I recieved an invite..
so give him the benefit of the doubt,,,, but ask him... nicley...
2006-12-14 04:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Marshall Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience with a short term boyfriend. I was shocked. I was so tempted to also get a profile and try to make contact with him to see how he would respond to a stranger on-line, but decided against it. Instead, I droppped that loser like a hot potatoe. In your case, this is a long term relationship so you must have really been stunned. What choice do you have....I wouldn't even confront him. I'd advise you to break the engagement. If you can't trust the guy it's better to find that out sooner than later. Consider whether it would matter how he justified it at this point if you did confront him. Once the trust is gone there isn't much left.
2006-12-14 04:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably just an old profile... When you ask him about hit he probably will not be mad that you are asking about it, but he might be confused as to why his new fiance is on a dating website searching profiles. How did you come across it in the first place?
2006-12-14 04:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you: dump his ***... for real. That's a pretty good indication that he's still looking. Men are very weird-- just because they propose doesn't guarantee anything. I mean, just look at how many cheating married men that are out there! His intentions for marrying you aren't the same as yours and you should just nip it in the bud. There are men out there who don't do **** like that... and it's hard to find, but isn't it worth it? A few nights in an empty bed with your dignity is worth alot more than many in that same empty bed wondering where the **** your man is, huh? And just think: are you ever gonna believe him 100% anymore? Not worth it...
2006-12-14 04:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by liverlips86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he,s your fiance then it shouldn,t be happening,but since it is then he must not think your the one or he just wants to cheat or has men say have other options.if i were you i would catch him while he is relaxing and say hey baby i want to ask you something and then i would say do you really want to be with me and he will say yes then you say well why do have an active online dating profile.and then you go from there but if your the one then he don,t need that .whatever you decide you need to confront him because this is already a trust issue.
2006-12-14 04:41:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are engaged and seriously considering marriage, you should be able to talk openly and honestly with each other....if you can't do that now, then you are definitely not ready to get married. This is something serious that you need to ask him about. If he gets mad it's because he knows he's wrong. Better to get it all out in the open now instead of setting yourself up for a failed marriage.
2006-12-14 04:22:30 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Active as in he is checking it? Logs into it? Maybe he just forgot to delete it. You can be sneaky and create a profile of your own with a picture of someone else and try contacting him. If he answers, see if he is willing to meet you. If so, sounds like it's a bad start to a doomed marriage.
2006-12-14 04:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the man you're going to marry if you can't talk to him about everything and anything you already have a problem.
He's clearly wrong and you need to tell him what you know. Don't ask him...tell him.
Then if you still want to marry him you should put off the wedding date for awhile until you guys get pre-martial counseling.
2006-12-14 04:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Curious - how do YOU know? Were you just by chance browsing? Did a friend spot him and tell you? If you try to corner him he could quickly turn this around on you. My suggestion - Here's a quick way to test him, have someone you know or work with that he has never met send a reply to that account (make sure they are attractive, you know him so you should know what he likes) and if he replies the BANG - you got him.
2006-12-14 08:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by John B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no control over how he chooses to react. Of course, he may question how you know this...why were you perusing an online dating site yourself?
Ask him...he may ask for your reason for being there as well, but this is apparently something the two of you need to address and settle. I'd have serious reservations about agreeing to marry someone who appeared to still be open to other options (and that goes for both of you).
2006-12-14 04:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋