My fiance's mom does not like me. I would like to get to know her better and spend time with her, but whenever I'm around her she seems all tense and gives me one word answers to my questions. My fiance and my parents are pretty tight. They really get along great. I'm so jealous, i want to be that way with his parents too. What do i do??????
2006-12-14 04:07:47 · 11 answers · asked by **Q-T-Pi** 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have the same type of situation but worse. I was just married in September and my mother in law was alright before we were married I would say before we were engaged once we got engaged and it was time to plan the wedding she got bitter she didn't like the fact that my mom had more say then her in the planning (my mother and father were paying for the whole wedding)She liked to throw her comments in but didn't want to have anything to do with the planning and didn't want anything to do with my family we really tried to include her in everything so she would start all kinds of problems now that were married things have not changed I think they got worse. She feels she doesn't have control over her son anymore and is making the holidays hell. She basiclly wants all the holidays and is trying to make it so that my family is left out. But I put my foot down for this the first time since she started in july and let her know that we are married now and we will make our own decisions she didn't like that but she is over it now until next month. But I feel the same way I would like to be close with my mother in law and I feel like she is just pushing me away maybe someday. I think mother in laws feel threatened by there daughter in laws. Maybe one day she will open up to you and be nice. Good luck and if you ever wanna talk some more about it email me
2006-12-14 10:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My situation is exactly the same.My fiance loves my parents and they get along great.My relationship with his mother is very formal and kinda stiff like if i go to his house I feel like i should stay in the living room whereas he is very at home in my house. What I would suggest for you is to try and find something that interests her and start a conversation about it.That conversation can lead to talking about other things, maybe a lunch for the two of you and maybe a full blown friendship.
Do not give up trying to be friends with her cause she is your fiance's mother and she will be a part of your life soon.
Good luck and god bless.
2006-12-14 04:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by martini_40727 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't take it personally. Your future mother in-law has been the main woman in your fiance's life up until now. Now, she has to accept that you are the center of her son's world. This is extremely hard to accept for some mothers. Be understanding and have grace and poise whenever you are around her. Try never to be negative in her presence, and show by actions that you are 100% supportive of your fiance, which will show her you have his best interests in mind. Soon she will come around and learn to love you as much as her son. Hang in there. Mother-in-laws are tough, but they can be softened. :)
2006-12-14 05:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your fiance know all this? If he doesn't, you should tell him how you feel right away. If he doesn't believe you or agree with you he needs to come up with a pretty good explanation as to why his mother is behaving this way before you marry him. Don't marry him without having a FULL discussion about this problem. I guarantee you, if you say anything AFTER you marry him, he will DEFINITELY pick HER and not YOU! If he can't stick up for you and tell his mother "learn to deal", don't even THINK about walking down the aisle.
2006-12-14 11:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by ami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough and a sensitive issue. try inviting her out to lunch or take her to get your nails done & treat her. let her get to know you and show her why her son is in love with you.
If she's really bad, all you can do is smile and play nice, never get between a son & his mom, it never bodes well. You may also mention to him that she doesn't seem to like you and how can you break through her rough exterior to become friends. He may really love you for that.
2006-12-14 04:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing new....I think a good 70% of women have mothers in law who are cold and uncaring toward them. My Mom is the same with my sister in law, my mother in law was the same with me....till the day she died. Be civil and kind, but don't butt kiss or try too hard, it won't get you anywhere....Mom's are funny with their boys, I don't know how else to explain it....
2006-12-14 04:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat...my mother in law hates me but you know, it just doesn't matter...as long as your fiance doesn't take her side over yours just let it go...my mother in law was nice to my face but then talked behind my back...at least you know where you stand
2006-12-14 04:31:28 · answer #7 · answered by missindy09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be blunt...ask her why she acts like she doesn't like you. tell her you want to get know her better and spend time with her but she isn't making it easy for you to do so. maybe reassure her how much you love her son and why you love him
plus it doesn't help that she is like most mom's...you are taking her baby away...lol
2006-12-14 04:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront her or anything like that. You need to be polite and respectful of her. Maybe she will warm up more to you once you are married.
2006-12-14 08:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry, they will hate u no matter what u do... this is life
2006-12-14 06:29:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋