A couple years ago, me, my boyfriend, and his 4 yr.old daughter had went to visit his brother. During the visit, the daughter was lying in the floor on her stomach and her pants had wiggled down to where her crack was exposed slightly. When this happened my boyfriend's 40 year old brother gotten down in the floor and started rubbing his finger up and down her buttcrack and talking about how cute it was. NOT only was it uncomfortable for the rest of us, including her father, but she was mortified. At the time we had not been dating but a couple of weeks, so I didn't really know what to do, and I confronted my boyfriend about the behavior of his brother. He said it shocked him too. I was appalled at his refusal to confront his brother. So I threatened him that if he did not confront his brother and tell him not to ever touch his daughter again, that I would talk to child protective services. Upon this threat he talked to his brother about my stance.
2006-12-14 03:53:15 · 29 answers · asked by stacey h 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Now the family thinks I am a villian for the threat. I never called CPS! Was I wrong or was he weird?
2006-12-14 03:54:00 · update #1
If he isn't already a pedophile he sure seems like one in the making. One thing about how indecent and insensitive his act of touching the little girl was. The other is doing so in front of his and the child's family.
You don't have to be the child's mom or relative to complain about him to CPS. Even an element of doubt based on an experience is good enough grounds for lodging a complaint.
Its a shame that you are the villain. I'm shocked the family isn't disowning him for his act. And to be hating you for that only tells me that there are a lot more wierdos in that family.
I guess it's time for you to rethink your relationship with that family including your boyfriend. If he can't stand-up for his own little infant child, why would you believe he'd stand-up for you when he has to?
And about letting the CPS know about the incident, don't second guess yourself out of doing it. You don't want to hear from her or other sources later on in her life that worse things have happened to her. You'd only save one more child from any abuse. This is one classic situation where "when in doubt over-react" applies.
2006-12-14 04:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by houstonian352000 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Know you had every right to be very concern. Because that was inappropriate behavior for 40 years to show towards a 4 yr old or any child for that matter. Now why the family was were only shocked and not appalled by his behavior. I bet if you were to do an investigation of brother, you would find out that he has been doing this for a while with other family members. I don't know why they would want to protect him, it obvious that he needs help. Family are sometimes like that and nothing you can do about that but protect your children and your boyfriend's daughter. He's not to be alone with children.
2006-12-14 03:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably should have called CPS no matter what. Sometimes that isn't an easy decision, but a child was put in danger. Your boyfriend's brother sounds like a pedafile and should be behind bars. What would ever possess anyone to touch a child in such a way! There is no exceptions and it is never okay to do so! I have 2 kids and if anyone ever did that to my kids, I wouldn't hesitate taking action by calling the CPS especially if I had proof that it happened.
Someone should have stopped your boyfriend's brother from doing this to this little girl. It bothers me that everybody watched it happen, but nobody stopped it. She was in danger. She was being violated and I honestly would have kicked the guy out of my house and called CPS then on him. You had witnesses that saw him do it to the little girl.
2006-12-14 04:53:45 · answer #3 · answered by hanevkidz2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe her father just set them and let him to it!!! That little girl is never going to forget it NEVER!!!! Her father has some problems if he didn't bet the crap out of his brother right then and there for touching his daughter! I have a 5 year old and if anyone even looked at her wrong I'd have at least something to say about it. You are completely right for feel that way. Sound's to me like his family is just a little more then screwed up if they don't see anything wrong with what happened. I really hope that mans not allowed around her anymore! He's sick!
2006-12-14 03:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by jenpoesavon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was totally inappropriate for the Uncle/Brother to do this.
I feel sorry for the little girl....hoping she was defended for her feelings and told she was right to be mortified....it was wrong...and if anybody ever touched her this way she had a right to say Don't.......
You weren't wrong.....I would have done the same.....Just to think maybe you stopped something from going further....
If the family doesn't like that you took up for the little girl...and that you cared enough to do so...right or wrong...they've got problems too..When its that close to home....no one wants to think it can happen...it does..
I'd blow them off and keep caring for her....your boyfriend was right to talk to him....thumbs up for him too.
Best wishes
Also....glad that you were all there to protect her...this could have been a open warning to protect her in the future...I sure wouldn't allow alone visit with him.
Keep your eyes open.....just in case you need to make that call.
2006-12-14 04:03:37 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO The only thing you have done wrong is not reporting it to CPS.That child is damaged for life.If you lost the family so what?Why would you want a family like that.If it were my daughter and my brother,I don't know what I would do to him but you can damn sure bet he would never see her or me again until he got some help.That pair of brothers are SICK. YOU HAVE MANY VERY VERY GOOD ANSWERS HERE AND HOPE YOU DO THE RIGHT THING AND I'M SURE YOU WILL.GOOD LUCK.
2006-12-14 04:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by I'm Jerry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not wrong! You did the right thing! I think you are a hero! I would of contacted children services after I punched him in the face. I think the brother has a serious problem that needs to be addressed before something happens to that little girl, if it hasen't already.
2006-12-14 04:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were completely right and if I were you I would take it that one step further and report him. That little girl deserves protection and someone to stand up for her. If your bf's not going to do it then it should be you. To stay quiet is excusing something inexcusable and enabling it to continue. I lost my whole family at 29yrs because I charged my grandfather for 13yrs of sexual abuse from the age of 3. Something anyone member of my large family could have done for me growing up, although they never. They didn't want to rock the boat so to speak. @%$! rocking the bloody boat, rock it till it capsizes, your step-daughter deserves the protection and will thank you for it in years to come. If anyone ever laid a hand on any of my kids all hell would break loose. for me not to interviene would make me a non-offending parent and i couldnt carry that guilt!
2006-12-14 04:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes u were right to do that. That is just a sick thing to do. running your finger up and down a kids buttcrack and talking about how cute it is, is by no means a normal thing to do. Cocerning what the family thinks forget them if they want to protect someone like that shame on them.
2006-12-14 04:00:42 · answer #9 · answered by orestes19832003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were right, there is definitely something wrong in that behavior, make sure your boyfriend never leaves the child alone with his brother.
What was the brother's answer to the confrontation?
2006-12-14 03:56:19 · answer #10 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋