Problems with relatives spoiling my son?

Question

My son is 9 mos. old & I am visitng with relatives for Christmas. My husband is deployed & our son's the only grandbaby and my hubby is an only child. His grandmother, my son's great grandmother, is not respecting my wishes to allow him to just whine when he's bored or cry for a short time before he goes to sleep. I don't just let him scream, but he must learn that I can't drop everything to get him if he's just bored. I've told her several times an it goes in one ear & out the other. His dad and I also don't do baby talk, we encourage real words. Mimi (the greatgrandmom) does not. She teaches him sensless noise and won't respect me or his dad there either. My hubby's parents are fine with what we want, but it's Mim who is not and she is living with my hubby's parents. I am staying with them for my visit because my parent's house is full and hotels are pricey. What can I do to get Mimi to understand that I'm glad she loves my son but I need her to respect my wishes about him?

I'll go into detail about the senseless noise. She makes spitting noises at him and says "ba ba" or "nummy nummy" for yummy. She also is actually trying to teach him to stick out his tongue at me! If he's fussing while I'm changing his diaper she'll go up to him and say "is Mommy mistreating you?" and pick him up right away and say she's "rescuing" him from me!! It may sarcasm, but Connor doesn't know what sarcasm is yet. He just knows words. Help!

To Common Sense:
It may only before the holidays, but she if I let her do this for the entire 4 weeks we will be here, it will take at least 2-3 weeks to undo when I get home. I'm with everyone else, she needs to respect my wishes. They will never be enemies, but she did the exact same thing to my mother in law when my husband was born and she hasn't changed her ways. The key thing is respect. I respect her, I would like respect in return.

Ok, maybe I am a little overly concern. But my main issue is that I am not being respected as his mother. It's like she believes she can do a better job than me and she has no problem expressing that. She tried to feed him peanut butter cookies and even tried to give him Divinity (highly sugary dessert). I told her no and she got a little stiff with me, but I won't back down on that. May the attention thing isn't so much a big deal, but I just would like to be respected as my son's mom.

Answer 1

Tell Mimi that she had her chance to raise kids and now its your turn and you would like to do it your way. Then tell her that you don't mind that she plays with the baby but she must comply to your rules

Answer 2

You really need to relax! You have a 9 month old baby....a baby...let him be a baby. They grow up so fast. Grandparents are a big part of a childs life and the memories of Grandma's house will carry through to adulthood. Some of my best childhood memories are of staying with my Grandparents and yes it was because we got treated special and got to do some things we couldn't do at home. Do you really want to deprive your child of those special times? Also, Grandparents have had and raised children and are very knowledgeable. If you will lighten up a little and be willing to take some loving advise from them, you may learn something as a new mother.They obviously did a good job at raising your husband, so they did something right. The only way a baby has to tell you they are uncomfortable, scared, or need something is to cry. I don't think it's because they're bored. Baby's get scared and have bad dreams and have upset tummies and need love, hugs and tender words. Lighten up and stop worrying about spoiling a 9 month old baby in 4 weeks. Let the Grandparents enjoy the baby and be thankful that they are there to love and offer support. Many new Moms don't have that.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to change mim. She is set in her ways and any attempt to modify her behavior for the sake of your child's rearing will only be interpreted as hostility, antagonism or any array of stimuli that will just cause her to intensify her conduct. You have to continue being as assertive as you possibly can without causing yourself or your child any more damage than has already been done.

Fortunately, you will only be there over the holidays thus not allowing mim's influence to be one that has a lasting effect on your direct family. The positive conditioning your husband and you are giving your son should override any long-term negative effect her influence can cause.

Throughout your son's formative years there will be many influences that will attempt to make him stray from the path you have chosen for him to follow until he can decide for himself if that is what is most convenient for him but if the foundation is solid there is no reason why he should stray far enough from his principles to cause him any real harm.

Answer 4

In south of India, traditionally that's the norm 'yet' the boy's and females one discern each could desire to be brother and sister (do not make faces!), I recommend 'pass-cousins'. yet while the two their mothers take place to be sisters or fathers take place to be brothers, they are 'at present cousins' meaning brother and sister. interior the latter case, marriage is a strict 'no! no!' traditionally pass-cousin marriage as a count of large, is the prepare between some quarter billion human beings, with the inhabitants such as that in the time of total of us of a of united statesa.. there is lot of romance, love-thoughts, literature and so on woven around this dating. 0.5 one billion North Indians would possibly not even comprehend that the variety of ingredient is there interior the South! it is the Indian selection, even Indians won't be in a position to fathom. however the marriages happening for a minimum of two millennia has produced far much less 'NUTs' and 'medically' deviants than among people who do not prepare (thinking it a 'sin'). If scientific comments are ideal, it would recommend 0.5 of South India could desire to have been decimated till now! yet i hit upon many greater mentally retarded circumstances in communities who oppose 'pass-cousin' marriages. i will furnish you an account of much greater surprising prepare. A boy can marry his sister's daughter, as a count of large. it is the girl can marry her maternal uncle. oftentimes such romance blossoms while the boy and female are interior the comparable age bracket. that's not something extreme as in super households with 7, 8 or 9 babies, the final of one era are interior the comparable age bracket with the subsequent era. The 'groom is his bride's very own uncle-in-regulation as somebody has commented. the two the practices at the instant are not 'deviant' yet important-stream phenomena, blessed with the help of all elders (they too did it). If in uncomplicated terms you're the two South Indians, your marriage may well be a blessed one.

Answer 5

Be firm and tell them that they raised their kids the way the felt was right and you are raising yours the way YOU want. Tell them you appreciate all their help, but would prefer they do things your way since it's your child. Good luck with this.

Answer 6

Let it be. Mimi will only be with the baby a short time.
You can retrain him later. They like having you and
the baby around. You are very lucky. Let your husband
know that your visit with his family is wonderful,
but you miss him. That way he won't have that worry.

Answer 7

Just be nice and put up with it...
It is only for the holidays..
Don't make enemies or your relatives...

Answer 8

Tell her how u feel

Answer 9

if they give it to him take it away they can't tell what you can or can't do that's your child not there's

Answer 10

talk to her directly

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