If you are invited for lunch or dinner by someone who should pick up the tab??? ( I have a friend who is always picking up the tab when he is invited by collegues and group of people and he always pays even though they invited him and they seek his proffesional adice) I just want to show him more opinion on this topic not only mine....thank you
2006-12-14 03:06:51 · 33 answers · asked by martha 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
He is not being payed a consultation fee and...( he is not using it as a tax deduction...since he pays with his personal visa or cash, and no this are not friends... collegues -and they are inviting him to seek his help-and yes-it's none of my business...but since he is my friend it hurts me to see that there are so many professionals who act so unprofessional...thats all thank you all for your answers you are all great!
2006-12-14 08:06:01 · update #1
It is customary that the person who extends the invitation pays the tab unless it is specified beforehand. However, a lot of people exhibit this behavior. Its and ego/power thing. I don't argue with them - I just let them do it. I work in the legal profession and this happens more than you could imagine.
2006-12-14 03:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Melli 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
If you are invited and it is not clearly declared that it is to be a dutch treat then it is the obligation of those that invite you to pick up the tab. If your friend frequently pays for the meals then that is the reason they invite him. What he needs to do is the next time he goes to eat with them is pay for only his meal. When the server approaches the table he should say, "This will be on seperate tickets." That informs everyone at the table that they will be paying for their own meal or someone will speak up and say, " I got it." He can always send a bill for the professional advice if it bothers him.
2006-12-14 03:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your friend is being invited BECAUSE he picks up the tab. That's certainly the risk he runs.
If the same group gets together regularly, they should either split the bill or take turns picking up the tab - and this second choice ONLY if they eat at the same sorts of places each time (i.e. they don't go to Morton's one week and then KFC the next).
If your friend is being invited for a professional purpose, he should let the other(s) pay for him - unless your friend suggested meeting for lunch in response to being asked for his advice, in which case they should split it.
The only time your friend should feel obligated to pick up the tab is if he himself plans the lunch and invites others - and even then, a split might be just fine.
I don't mean to be insulting, but your friend probably needs to hear this: he's a chump.
2006-12-14 03:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If person A invites person B to lunch, then person A should be picking up the Tab or at the very least agreeing (before hand) to split the tab.
There are no other options in this scenario. Your friend is probably a really nice guy and they are taking advantage of him at the very least. If he is providing service....they should definitely be picking up your friend's tab.
It wouldn't even be an issue. Some people are just to nice for their own good.
Please tell him to put his foot down. It also helps if he has the "payment discussion before the sit down" Some may call this tacky but for folks who are always looking for a free meal...it may be necessary!!!
2006-12-14 03:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by Wife~and~Mom 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
An invitation to lunch or dinner: The tab is paid for by the person doing the inviting.
Plans to meet a friend or friends for lunch or dinner: The tab is paid by everyone. Each person can pay their own, or it can be split equally if all agree.
2006-12-14 03:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all, we need more information on this, because if he's picking up the tab because it involves business, he's probably being quite smart. If he's picking up the tab just because he likes doing it to be kind, then I don't see nothing wrong with it. He is an adult I assume, and can figure out if he thinks he's being used, so he probably doesn't need you telling him what to do with his money!
2006-12-14 03:18:12 · answer #6 · answered by inov8ed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. just to let you know, I am a teenager. And I agree. I think the man should anticipate having to pay for the meals, movies, dates in general. It's not wrong in any way to assume he will be paying, It should just happen, no questions asked. And it's not old fashioned, some, (very few), but some teenagers do think this too. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. :) Good luck! :) .
2016-05-24 02:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by Rilla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the person who invites pays, but there are cases that the invitee pays. In your friends case if he expects the invitor to maybe become a potential client, he can then feel better when he extends a nice bill to the invitor for the services he has provided without feeling any guilt if the meal had been paid by the invitor (now the client).
2006-12-14 03:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If a person (or group) extends an unsolicited invitation to someone, then that person (or group) should pay all costs related to the invitation. If the invitation has been solicited, then the person soliciting the invitation should be prepared to share in the costs.
In other words, if John asks Dave to lunch of his own accord, then John should pick up the tab. If Dave hints to John about going to lunch together, but John extends the actual invitation, then John isn't expected to pay for lunch. They both should pay for their own lunches unless one of them insists on paying for both.
2006-12-14 03:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I, personally, think that if you are the one invited to lunch that you shouldn't have to pick up the tab, because they invited you, its good manners. But if you are just with friends and you agree on a restaurant the you go dutch. Each of you pay a fair amount, split it evenly.
2006-12-14 03:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by Tiana Y 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋