Sister problem......?

Question

And I'm fed up, my sister has been a complete cow.

I have 3 children and my exes were violent
I get no help whatsoever from anyone and I'm also trying to come to terms with my daughter dying.

I haven't had a night out in over a year


I've been so positive recently and I didn't even kick off when I ended up paying her £400 council tax bill

I've got my driving test tomorrow and I feel so useless.

All this as she was supposed to babysit while I took the baby to the contact center to see her Dad.Then she said she didn't want to.

Her response was that I always expect people to feel sorry for me.

I haven't lived in my house for long and she had been telling me that I need to have it decorated ready for them to visit at Xmas.

Why are people so nasty
I'm always the 1st to help anyone if they need it.

Answer 1

You've been a very brave and strong person to get through everything that's happened to you, stay positive and believe in yourself.
Are you in touch with any support groups for single parents or a social group maybe? Make time for yourself.
Perhaps you should be more honest about how disappointed you are with your sister, let her know how hurtful she is being?
(why are you paying her bills)? and concentrate your energy on yourself and your children.
Good Luck with your test

Answer 2

It seems as though she is expecting you to do it all. I would put my foot down ... tell her that since you are having christmas at yours, she can come and do the decorations. You have a baby which takes up a lot of time, plus two other kids .. have just recently moved ... where is her consideration? Family are supposed to support and I think you deserve a major dose of that right now. You have a lot on your plate, and I think deep down she is probably a little jealous of you, as you ARE coping with all that you have, and because you need a little favour, she is biting back with 'ooh you always expect people to feel sorry for you!' She is trying to make you feel bad ... don't rise to the bait! I know its hard sometimes, but by just carrying on and being you .... eventually she will see that you really don't need her, and thats when she will run to help you. You are very definately the better person here,and although you have had a rough ride of late, things will work for you!! The worst thing is, you take all the kids with you to the contact centre!! There is nothing you can do about it, and at least you haven'tbroken your side of the agreement. I wish you well and hope you have a very happy christmas

Answer 3

Oh beleive me when I tell you I know how you feel...I have 5 sisters there were six of us but one passed away over 5 years ago with cancer(hoskins)she wasn't 40 years old.Our ages range from 57-50 at this time(2006).Having sisters somtime can be a pain royally.I somtimes tell other people I don't know I don't have a family it was only me in the family(sad isn't it?)I use to always try to be the strong one of them all but after years of really finding out how they care about me I handle them with a LONG handle spoon now.Everyone of them have there own life and I am just a phone call,or a card once in a while now.We were truly never close because each person then and now had there own agenda(younger)as a matter of fact they still do.I have come to the conclussion that it's better to be who you are and not what they want/expect you to be.People are NASTY cause that's what's in them.Be kind although they are being a B--ch.You draw more bees with hunny than viniger if ya know what I mean(good luck)

Answer 4

It sounds like that she thinks you put yourself in that position to be sorry for. She needs to step back and see not what you did or have done in the past but to help you move forward. The first thing is to try to seek help else where such as the church. There are plenty of great people there that will help with child care for an hour or two while you do your buisness. Plus as I have found most men that attend a church and are God fearing men aren't abusive. Another positive is you can receive counciling for your feelings about your family and relations with others.

Answer 5

You know my sister is the same way only time she needs me is when i can do something for her! You know i learned to just continue giving love no matter what because in the long run they will appericate you and they will be the one feeling ashame of thier self for not being there you know we take to much for granted in life the little things and some people just don't seem to get it !! Well just give love and you will see a change and tell her how she makes you feel maybe she will then realize that you have feelings too!!! Good luck

Answer 6

good luck with your test you are not useless, write out on a card all the things you are good at and read it 3 times a day, its a confidance booster, i think you have been through alot and you have done very well, give your self some encouragement. God loves you he thinks the world of you, it does not mater what others think, although it is nice to be appreciated and get some support, your sister sounds a bit selfish. she is being rude as well telling you what to do with her place. She should help you not run you down. Sounds to me like she is a bit jealous of you otherwise she would not run you down, becuase you may come across as a strong person. I think you need a bit of caring to be honest and someone to listen to. I think maybe you both need it, try to be more loving toward each other, as you are it will come back what goes around often comes around take care of yourself.

Answer 7

There will always be givers and takers in this world. Unfortunately we cant pick our family, that was already decided for us! I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Maybe you should distance yourself from your sister or anyone else that seems to drag you down. You can't please everyone, focus on yourself and your children and stop asking your sister for anything. It seems like your sister is cold when it comes to being
compassionate. There will alway's be nasty people out there, but try to never let that change who you are. Stay giving and caring and the selfish people will have to answer for their own behavior. God Bless You!

Answer 8

Great isn't it,you had a violent ex now you have a control freak,if she wants your place decorated for Xmas great tell to do it herself if its so important to her,take full control of your life while you can,there must be other friends who could baby sit for you on the odd evening,if you do be fair to them and they will do the same for you

Answer 9

Well, I would not call my sister names no matter what. Her attitude if all is accurate with what you are writing here leaves much room for improvement. If this is how she treats you stop doing for her and let her see what this is like. Good Luck

Answer 10

stop all contact with her now for at least 6 months DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR HER AT ALL DURING THIS TIME after this call her and tell her if you going to behave like a sister she must also be willing to meet you half way its extreme I know but you sound like a doormat at the moment and you need to think of your self and your kids