Ok, so my boyfriend is a great guy. He has been through a lot of not so great relationships and he seems to have a big issue with NOT letting things go - specially the things that his exgirlfriends did to him. He talks about it constantly and even gets upset over it. I know that Clinically speaking there are some other issues involved, like his low self esteem, his fear or rejection and not having the approval/acceptance from his dad.
This is the man that I love and would like to someday start a family with, however, I can already see this as beeing an obstacle in our relationship and I would like to help him figure things out, but I just don't know how. Is there anything I can do?
The good thing is that he is not affraid to seek help, because he is seeing a counselor, however, realistically speaking - I'm sure he is discussing any of this issues with her.
2006-12-14 03:04:35 · 15 answers · asked by gabster 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have almost the same problem with my boyfriend. He has been through some bad relationships and I get the short end of the stick because of what they did.
Sit down and talk with him. I let my boyfriend know that I refuse to be treated badly for something I didnt do and if he isnt over it, that we should break up.
Until you can give someone else 100% of you, you shouldn't date because it is not fair to the other person.
Realize you cant fix him, as much as you would like to. You can support him, but dont tolerate any bull.
2006-12-14 03:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by kaye t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe by telling him that some of the things he dwelling on could hurt him more and hurt the relationship, that its in the past and that you love him very much and you hope that you and him can work it out together, if his seeking professional help and not eveything is being discussed then there is a problem there, but depends on how long he has been in therapy. Maybe there are somethings that he is not telling he does not feel you should know about, might want to give him some space, whatever problem his dad and him are having they will probably figure it out, sometimes people who feel that being accepted is the only way to be aren't looking at other aspects , just keep supporting him the way you are and he will come around.
2006-12-14 03:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If half the family approves of the move, and it is cheaper for a more improved room, I would say, go for it. Getting more for his money would be an improvement to his life. Now how about the meals? Are they full meals or snacks. Do they get fruit every day. And what about pill dispension. Is someone in charge of that, to eliminate mistakes. Some places have the overseeing of an RN. But also many places can't afford the services. And does the dispenser of the pills, wear rubber gloves for sanitary reasons? There's much to consider before you displace him. Make sure he can handle the transition, so he doesn't get afraid after moving. I have a friend, who died two days after her move. She was treated badly by staff in that wing, and she went into a catatonic state of mind. And didn't recognize her daughter. And then she died the next day. So weigh things carefully.
2016-03-29 07:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are on the right path with acknowledging that there is a problem and seeking help to resolve it. I say give it time and see how it plays out. I was burned once and it took me a while to get back to my old self. Just be patient and continue to see your counselor.
2006-12-14 03:07:35 · answer #4 · answered by Mystic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i was in a similar situation with on of my ex's and come to find out he had all these issues with his ex-girlfriend and somehow he would always work her into the conversation we were having it seemed that she was always on his mind. He would get so upset just talking about her. But to make a long story short we ran into her at a friends party and i found them making out in the bathroom, he still had feelings for this girl, all this rage and hate he had for her was a front for how he really felt for her
2006-12-14 03:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is telling you about these because he is scared of becoming close with you because you might repeat them. I think he is just scared of being hurt and the best thing you can do it to be there for him, but not impose yourself on him. This is something he needs to work/think out on his own, but that doesn't mean you can't help with some emotional support.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-14 03:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sir Smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going to a relationship counselor and bring it up. If you cant help him by talking to him show him with your feelings. If that doesnt work go to the counselor with him. You can help him either way.
2006-12-14 03:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is still in love with his ex.If I were you,I would give him space until he can sort things out. You are having unrealistic expectations of your relationship with him.
2006-12-14 03:07:31 · answer #8 · answered by Dfirefox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is good your boyfriend is willing to seek help and all, just give him some time and he will be normal again. Have patience.
2006-12-14 03:06:30 · answer #9 · answered by leazngurl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say give him time to work these things out on his own.
2006-12-14 03:08:00 · answer #10 · answered by R_H_P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋