I need help with my daughter?

Question

my daughter who is six told me that she doesn't want to be friends with this boy in her class because his daddy is gay
i told her that she shouldn't judge people like that and it doesnt matter.
i didn't even know wthat she knew wut gay was
and i asked her wut does gay mean she told me it's like 2 girls getting married
and i told her the real definition and that i am dissapointed that she judges people like that. wut should i do or should of done?

Answer 1

No doubt that she picked this up from other kids at school.

But the overwhelming weight should be given to the concept that we judge others by his / her merits alone. And for God's sake, he didn't choose his parents. You can't penalize a child for that.

I (always) think twice about sending my kids to any other kids' house. I'd think thrice we these people.

Answer 2

Most likely your daughter is being influenced by another friend to feel this way. Give her an example of how it would feel if she was different in a way that no other person could relate to. Then ask her how would she feel if her friends stopped talking to her because of this different thing she has. Let her see that no matter how different a person can be or their family can be they are still the same person,especially if they are a good friend. Even at six years old kids can understand more than we think,dont be intimitated to explain how wrong and awful it is to judge people that way,and if your religous,tell her only god has the right to judge people,we are here to be good to each other and unless they are mean,rude,hurtful,aggresive,extremely gross,and all around bad then really dont be their friend. I have a six year old daughter too,and I have had the same situations with good results.She a good girl,and I'm sure that your daughter is too,and she'll have no problem adjusting to this situation.Good Luck.

Answer 3

She's young and young kids sometimes get very set in "right" and "wrong". Keep stressing to her that people are just people and that this is ok, and she should grow out of it. You are the deciding factor. If you teach her love and acceptance, she'll gorw into that. If you allow her to keep this mind set by either ignoring it or reinforcing it, she'll grow up thinking like that.

Examine your own attitudes too. Kids often mimic what they see and hear. Make sure you're not setting an example that would give her this idea. I'm not saying you did, kids can come up with ideas from other places, not just parents, but double check yourself just in case. My 8 year old said the other day that boys kissing boys was "just wrong" and I'm bisexual, so I know my husband and I didn't give him that idea!

Answer 4

I think you need to find out where she got the information. Kids don't come up with that stuff on their own. It was implanted some where. Maybe it's time to have a talk with the teacher. You know how parents are though, she prob. heard it from a kid that heard it from their parents. Let her know that he is no different, that all kids regardless of what deserves friends. Try to put her in his shoes. What if she lost all of her friends because of ..... How would that effect her. Tell her it is okay to be friends, and if anyone in her class tells her different then let you know. That way you know where the info is coming from.This saddens me to hear that this has happened. I think you did a great thing not hiding it and just laying it out on the line.

Answer 5

Continue to talk to her and try and make her understand that she should choose to be friends or not with people because of who they are. She is very young still so the whole sexuality thing will be way too much for her to comprehend. Maybe invite the boy over for a playdate along with his parents. Seeing you accepting his parents in a social setting will go a long way to helping her understand how you feel about this. Children do learn by example.

Answer 6

Tell her..... That is her class boy that she is being friend with! Not his father? They are two different people! And the little boy wasn't a GAY! After all she just heard it from someone, Ask her ... If she have see his class boy father with another guy? And tell her being with some guys, you can't say that they must be GAY? Even seeing a woman and a man being together, they may not be husband and wife!

Answer 7

To start you are on the right track with her, we should not judge people no matter what their color, race or religion. It is our responsibility as parents to make sure our children are raised not to be prejudice. Explain to her the importance of treating people like equals. How would she feel if she was the little boy and people treated her like she is treating him just because she is a girl. I commend you for setting her straight and believe you will come to a great answer on your own, as you sound like a wonderful parent. All the best to you.

Answer 8

tell your daughter that she is going to meet all different types of people in the world, and that they are all going to be different. Tell her there is nothing wrong with being gay. She probably doesnt want to be his friend because she is uncomfortable with the situation, not judging that. Try to be understanding because 6 is a young age to know about gays.

Answer 9

You did the right thing in my opinion. Just keep passing along the message that we are all equal and you should not judge people like that. Have her talk about the boy as a person and not look at him by whom his parents are. "Gay" does not rub off...and just in case you were wondering, no I'm not. I'm just a strong advocate for the wrongly judged.

Answer 10

Explain to her that being gay is okay, and tell her that judging people is not right. If she chooses not to listen, just let it be because it is hard to change one's belief, but perhaps through time as she grows up she will realize what's right and what's wrong. Don't worry too much.

Answer 11

well she is kind of young to understand the real concept I mean you can have a friendship relation with gays/lesbians but that's one thing- the other factor is that we do not agree with their style of life. You have to explain you daughter that is not bad to talk and have a friendship relation with them. just treat them like everyone else - when she gets older she'll understand a lot better. In this case his friend's dad is gay and not him - tell her to give him an opportunity to a friendship relation.