i suspect she is cheating, i dont know what to do, i dont want to be wierd and follow or stalk her. im 22 and shes 21, i love her and she tells me she is doing homework, i am wondering while i am not with her, is she cheating on me. i hope not, what should i do? should i confront her, i love her and she is my first actual gf, i kicked it with other girls but i actually like this girl a lot, so i decided to be with her. i love her and dont want to lose her. i dont want to push the issue but i want her to understand where i am coming from, what do i do, i am in a predicament.
2006-12-14 02:20:03 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Start sleeping with her friends. They know if she is cheating, and afterall, her friends are hot.
2006-12-14 02:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by lundstroms2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've been together that long, then she owes you an explanation if her actions don't seem right. Whether or not she's your 1st, if things aren't right, then get rid of her! Life's too short to wait for something that may not even be there and to put up with crap that you don't need.
Just ask her who's she's working with and where. Then when gets ready to leave, check her mileage; do it again when she comes back. If it doesn't add up to what you know it should be based on the distance, then question her again about extra activities during the same time (shopping or other errands).
I know it's sneaky but sometimes you have to do this to get to the truth. Once a cheater always a cheater. If you have to follow her several times, then do it. It may be the only way to find out if she's lying. After you've been together that long, then you're not stalking her (it would be different if you'd been going out only 2 weeks).
If you find that she's telling the truth, then either apologize to her for not trusting her (don't tell her how you know, though!) or else never mention it again.
If she's lying, then dump her asap!
2006-12-14 10:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Goyo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a timetable, say, a month. And follow her as much as you can, or ask a friend to do it for you.
There is no book that prohibits you from stalking your girlfriend IF and only IF it may affect you.
I look at infidelity with the eye of sexually transmitted infections. Since the possibility that she is cheating on you has already been established, it would be prudent to follow her, to the best of your abilities, and find out if it's true or not. Cheaters will never admit to anything. And if she's bringing some infections home, hey, that's already something that could potentially hurt you beyond the emotional connection. It's a serious thing.
Don't have sex with her. And follow her for maybe a month or so. If she is cheating on you, she will meet with him at least once during the next month.
That's just my opinion.
2006-12-14 10:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mario E 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think its because she's your first actual g/f that you feel insecure about the relationship and doesn't know if it's real. You might be scare to be heart broken. But, you should never be too careful, if she says she is doing homework, ask her if she need help and insist to go help her. Ask her as many questions as you can, but dont go and confront her if she's cheating, because you will lose her no matter if she is cheating or not. because she will think you have no trust in her.
2006-12-14 10:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by Haze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to ask reasonable questions in a calm fashion, and then don't react too strongly right away. What makes you suspect her? If you really want to know, are there ways to find out a little bit more than you know? Are things ok between you two, never mind outside the relationship? I've felt this way before too. I think you are smart to ask this question.
2006-12-14 10:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your insecurities are getting the best of you and they will ruin your relationship. You want her to understand where you are coming from...do YOU yourself know where you are coming from??
You've given no details to support your suspicions that she is cheating. It's just a feeling you have. Unless you've got something more substantial to go on, you'd better not confront her or she'll show you the door.
If you are in school I suggest you contact a campus counsellor. You need to discuss your obsessive behaviour and your inability to trust someone you state you love. I am sensing you have major control issues.
Good luck with your struggle.
2006-12-14 10:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if there is no trust, then I think the relationship is done.
If you smell smoke, there usually is fire right along with it. I would just ask her. Tell her what you are feeling, and how she is making you feel in this situation. And then, if I were you, I would kick her to the curb. If you don't trust her, there is really no hope in a long-term, thriving relationship there. You will always have the mistrust.
2006-12-14 11:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her. Tell her you love her and care for her but feel that she is not being faithful. Tell her that's ok if she has feelings for someone else but that you need to know. If she says that she does have someone else, then let her know that while you will love her, you will not share her and that she should follow her heart. If she come back in a short while fine, if not, she was not for you anyways. I know this is hard, but its the best way.
2006-12-14 10:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is cheating then it is time to stop the relationship, she will do it again and again. Try and talk to her and tell her what you are suspecting. Oh and do not call the police for this , you do have this in the law enforcement cat.
2006-12-14 10:27:07 · answer #9 · answered by antiekmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are worrying over her cheating then your relationship will not last.
If she is cheating on you then your relationship will not last.
Are you engaged? If not then have both of you commited to a monogamous relationship with each other?
Are you on a break? ;-)
You are going to have to trust whoever you find (and marry) or you will kill every relationship you enter into.
Best wishes in your life.
2006-12-14 10:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by BigDozer66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋