2006-12-14 02:19:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your ability to influence her beliefs about herself is directly proportional to her respect for you and your relationship with her.
Simply outright telling her she is beautiful probably won't work.
Second, you can't simply be her friend. If you marry your boyfriend you will likely have some authority with his daughter. This does not mean she will view you as HER mom, but an adult with some authority. Just being buddy buddy with her will confuse her and undermine her. A lot of your interaction will depend on your boyfriends input on your role with her and her acceptance of you. I can't tell you how important it is that you and your boyfriend are on the same page when related to his daughter ESPECIALLY in front of her. If you have disagreements, discuss that behind closed doors.
You need to build respect from her. She will respect you if you respect her and are not hypocritical with any of your actions. Make sure she understands that you know your relationship with her father also includes a relationship with her and she is not just a side effect of your relationship with her father. Ultimately this is how you will impact her the most.
In the mean time, do activities that include her with your boyfriend, or even on occasion only with her. Please keep in mind during this time that you are not only her friend. Compliment her personality qualities, outfits, her hair, etc. Be interested in her. Don't overdo this or it will be cheesy. She will only accept your input if she's accepted your role in her life.
Lastly, remember that even biological parents in "perfect" families cannot completely change thier chilidrens views about themselves. Each child must come to understand themselves in their own mind and you cannot make this happen, but you can facilitate a relationship to base your input.
2006-12-14 02:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by CP 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It would help to know more details i e is she overweight/underweight, is she a so called geek and does not get along with the in crowd, is she into anything like goth, heavy metal, or punk rock those are often ostracizing to kids because they stray away from the so called norms of music that kids listen to, is she an athlete and does not hang out with the in crowd of athletes. My best advice unless you suspect self destructive behavior cutting, abuse of alcohol or drugs, suicidal thoughts etc. is to just be supportive and be there as best you can do not overreact if you find out she has drank some obviously punish her and watch closer but experimenting with drinking at that age is not unusual. If she drinking a lot then step into her harder. So in closing just be there and listen look learn do not accuse, snoop, or overreact and good luck.
2006-12-14 02:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by bartleyrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First find out why she doenst have confidence in herself? Maybe someone at school has put her down and that is the effect of it. Just let her know that she can believe in herself and you believe in her too! As for getting her to know that she is beautiful...ask her if she thinks she is? Tell her that it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about her as long as she thinks she is beautiful
2006-12-14 02:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by lilsouljah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be her friend.Teenagers with low confidence aren't going to be like that for the rest of their lives but what she needs now most is a friend who understands her,doesn't criticize her and loves her.Spend more time together with the girl.I don't know if you have the chance to be more with her but if you do,here are your chances:
>In summer go sunbathing with her
>Go out shopping
>Have "girl-talks" with her(boys, make-up, discoteques, sex, love)
>Tell her at least once a day that she is 'cool'
>Laugh together
>Encourage her to take up some sport which is interesting for her
>When she says she cannot do something which she appreciates other girls for (dancing for example),you act unpredictable and do it with her
>Every evening talk with her and ask her to tell you at least 6 things that happened during day and made her happy and then tell her some thing which made you happy.That's how she will get used to be more optimistic
2006-12-14 03:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by Livia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is something that you can convince her of. She needs to feel it herself. At her age, its hard to feel good about anything. Why not take her for a haircut, a couple new outfits then stop at the mall to get her makeup done at Belk or something. Maybe all she needs is a jump-start!
2006-12-14 02:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by SamIam82 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be her friend, let her know you love her. Low self esteem usually comes from lack of self worth. Give her special attention. Do it because you want to not because you have to or she will think its an act.
2006-12-14 04:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Focus attention on any physical activity she does or is good at, like dance or sports. She will appreciate her body for what it can do, rather than what it looks like.
2006-12-14 02:46:09 · answer #7 · answered by Erin W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Coming from somebody with low self-esteem, there is really nothing you can do. No amount of compliments will change the distorted self-image in the mirror.
2006-12-14 02:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by ilovejolie86 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Suggest walking around in very slutty clothes. That will get her lots of attention, thus boosting her confidence.
2006-12-14 02:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
I would try therapy
2006-12-14 02:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋