Do you think this girl should be punished?

Question

I have a friend who's not sure if she should punish her 13-year-old daughter. She' s agood girl, her parents have never had any serious problem with her. But yesterday she didn't resist peer pressure and drank some wine with other girls at a friend's home. Her mom got to know because the girl decided to tell her. She said that after drinking the wine she felt hot and sweated a lot. She ageed it was wrong and said she did it out of curiosity

In my opinion, the best thing to do is talk with the girl and explain why she shouldn't drink at 13. I don't think she should be punished.

Answer 1

I think she'll know enough not to do it again, since she didn't like the experience.

Teenagers can know how to handle alcohol responsibly; it's more common here in Europe for children to drink (very) small amounts at a younger age. I drank wine at dinner as long as I can remember, first a sip from my parents' glass and by age 13 I long had my own... not full, only with dinner, and I never got more than that. Because it wasn't this forbidden, secret thing, I never had the urge to ask for more or drink in secret.

I have never seen my parents even slightly drunk (they only had one glass too), and the only time I got drunk was when I was about 23 or so, at college, when my friends talked me into going out with them when I was so tired I was almost sleepwalking as we went out the door. Someone bought me drinks -I can't remember even *starting* to drink, as I said, I was dead tired- and I guess I didn't say no. I didn't like the next morning so I never did it again!

I think making alcohol a forbidden fruit makes it all the sweeter... as I said I never had the urge to get drunk, that one time happened when I wasn't all there to begin with. On the other hand, kids who weren't allowed to drink would buy some in high school and drink in secret... and at college, of course there were exceptions, but in general the ones who returned to the dormitory dead drunk were the ones who'd been kept on the tightest rein at home.

Answer 2

It is great that the daughter felt comfortable enough that she could tell her family. That is a fantastic credit to her. If it were my daughter, I would be very pleased that she felt comfortable talking to me about it. However, I think that I would want some sort of punishment. Perhaps take away some of her responsibilities Why was she in a situation, where this decision to drink or not to drink was available to her? The potential for bad decisions comes from too much freedom! I would tell my daughter she can continue to be friends with these people, only if they socialize at our home. What ever friend's house she was with, her parents dont supervise enough!! Why didnt her mother know what sort of supervision she would have when she was over at this friend's house? I still would be very pleased with my daughter for coming forward and admitting her mistake, however, I would remind her that next time it could be something more dangerous, like drugs, or sex or something that could damage her for the rest of her life. And, perhaps if she cant make good decisions in an unsupervised place, then she shouldnt be exposed to them. And, what sort of true friends influence you to do things that are against the law??

Answer 3

I think she does. Otherwise she will think she can do it again. Don't believe the wicked decietful minds of a teenager. We were all teenagers. Sure, this time she regretted it. But next time when peer pressure kicks in, which we all know she fell for once and can again, she could give in and do it again. Plus just admitting she did something wrong, which children know the difference between right and wrong by age 5, will not make her choose the right decision. Parents in today's world are not reinforcing the reprecussions for choosing the wrong. That's why crime rate is high. that's why society is having so many issues in general. We owe to our children and theirs future to engrave some discipline.

It doesn't have to be massive punishment. Ground her for a week. Or don't let her go hang out next time. Yes talk, I agree with talking but parents shouldn't be friends to talk to. They need to be parents ready to act as needed.

Answer 4

Ground her for 13 days. (her age) If she is a good girl, she will understand and most likely not tell her mother when she does it again, or not tell her at all. The mom should also not let the girl go to that particular friends house again nor let her hang out with them either. She was in the wrong and she told her mom about it, and that was at least a good sign.. But she does need to be at least grounded.

Answer 5

I don't think she should severly punished I think her mother should sit her down and explain to her but maybe ground her for a week or somethin so her daughter no's she is serious but explain to her that its for her own good and if her friends parent new about it and let her the mother should tell them not to let her daughter have any alcholic beverages without her permission that way everything will be taken cared of

Answer 6

Yes she should be punished. A 13 year old should not be drinking. If she is not punished she is learning that she can do whatever she like and get away with it.

Answer 7

no don't punish her she is a good girl as you say but warn her about curiosity and that you should ask if you want to know about something and even if you think the answer is no then you really should ask sometimes even though we don't know it turns out we do so just keep on her about asking and that listen to other people who is a trusted adult like a parent or a close parent friend
Jenelle

Answer 8

Serous talk and a mild punishment to drive it home. Not a severe punishment or that will cause resentment and the girl won't confide in her parents again.

Answer 9

I think she should be punished. Rewarded for being honesty but punished so she knows she can't get by with this again. It needs to be stoped now. What if the kid comes up & said she tryed pot,sex,ect.... Do you punisher her then?

Answer 10

I agree that she should not be punished. Since she admitted to he mother that she drank, a simple discussion about why its wrong would be fine. She had the courage to openly discuss it. That should at least be acknowledged.