K..so there's a boy in or nieghborhood that is a known bully and has caused several problems. Yesterday, he was outside with my boys and some other kids and started picking on my younger son and hit him. My oldest son then punched him...HARD...in the eye. Gave him a lovely shiner. Now I punished my son and made him apologize. I understand that he should stand up for himself and his brother and that this kid deserved it, but...we have always told our boys that fighting is the last option. The reason my son got in trouble is there were numerous adults he could have brought the problem to and instead he chose to fight. Now here's where the problem comes in, he's now a local hero, all his friends are cheering him on and the other parents are quietly cheering him on too. Obviously I had to punish him right? I mean I can't promote violence as a first option.
2006-12-14 00:45:56 · 14 answers · asked by S J 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Did you tell your son you saw or did he tell you? I think if he didn't tell you, I would have ignored it. This sounds like a case of judiciously-used, restrained violence. He didn't keep beating the kid. You son just put this bully in line. If your son fessed up, I'd ask him what he thinks is the appropriate thing for you to do. You might be surprised... Kids are often way harder on themselves than you would ever think to be.
I wouldn't make this a big deal of it. If you grounded him, though, you've got to stick with it. It sounds like your kid is not a trouble-maker. :)
2006-12-15 08:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by the truth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would agree that you shouldn't throw the first punch...but he wasn't fighting over something trivial like most teen's do. I think he had every right to stand up to this bully and stand up for his little brother! I would have expressed my feelings that fighting is not always the best answer, but if he would have ran off and "tattled", then he would have been next on the bully's list! I think what your son did is right and would not punish him!
2006-12-14 10:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing, he needs to be taught that what he did isn't okay. Even though in the situation I'm pretty sure that it was justified, he should be able to stand up for himself, if you hadn't punished him he would think that it's okay to do the same thing in other situations. At this point not too much damage is done, now the bully kids know not to pick on your boys and your son knows that it's not okay to be a bully as well.
2006-12-14 10:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with practically everyone else who's posted-- you did the right thing, but he needs to know that in SOME circumstances it's ok.
On a side note, I just wanted to praise you for raising what seems like an excellent child! Even as a female, if someone punched my little brother, I'd have punched them back too! Good for you, and good for your son!
2006-12-14 10:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by Suliah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Under these circumstances I don't think I would have punished him. If he'd thrown the first punch, even in response to verbal bullying, then yes, but in defence of self or others, no. I would sit down and have a long talk about what happened, when it is and is not ok to fight, but I think he did the right thing.
2006-12-14 09:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by tabithap 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those wonderfully complicated parenting challenges. I think you did exactly the right thing in disciplining your child for taking the violent option first, instead of as a last resort. I agree that you also need to let him know that sticking up for his brother was a good thing. Clearly, the neighborhood bully needed to be taken down a notch.
Life is complex, and sometimes doing the right thing brings both positive and negative consequences, as you have aptly demonstrated here.
2006-12-14 09:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by not yet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your son did the right thing, if the bully hit your younger son, then he deserved to be hit, as an example of how he makes others feel by hitting. I agree hitting isn't ALWAYS the answer, but sometimes it is. Would you have prefered he do nothing to protect his brother? I say his heart was in the right place.
2006-12-14 09:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
actually, no. I don't think you should punish him. That WAS the right thing to do. If a kid goes to a parent about a bully- the bully comes back even harder on your boys. Let him know that it was wrong to hit him, but he SHOULD stick up for himself and his brother. Way TO GO
2006-12-14 09:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was growing up, the rule was DON'T START A FIGHT AND DON'T LOSE A FIGHT. While that might be a bit harsh, I think he did the right thing. He took up for his family. Tell him that he did good by taking up for his brother, but that fighting is not always the best choice. Don't get too down on him. Good luck!
2006-12-14 09:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by zaniest1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. But I hope when you punished him you also let him know that you were proud of him for standing up for his little brother. That way he knows if it is the last option that he wont be in trouble anyway.
2006-12-14 09:13:19 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋