I'm composing a short story. As English is not my first language, i need an experienced writer to help me describe the scene in the best way. The situation is "This guy is in love with a girl, and he wants to give a surprise gift for her. He asked a friend of her to give it. She (the friend), questioned him, why would he do that because this girl seemed never reply his love. But he just insisted that he wants to give it because he loves her, not because of what she can give to him.". Pls help me improve my writing skills. You can add words/sentence, to help readers able to relate on the character's feeling. Thanks a lot!
2006-12-14 00:24:50 · 11 answers · asked by questioning 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His eyes sparkled with love, as he looked away from the window
u needed to put da coma in da sentence]
ReeRee
2006-12-14 00:31:26 · answer #1 · answered by Ree Ree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His eyes sparkled with love as he looked at his friend and answered, "It's got nothing to do with what she can give to me. I love her. Nothing can change that"
Just a thought. I've been writing/making up stories since I was in kindergarten..........have fun!!
2006-12-14 08:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His eys sparkled with love as he looked away from the window, wacthing the raindrops in the moonlight "I love her nothing can ever change that" he starts to cry and fades away and Scene
2006-12-14 08:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kaylaluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His eyes sparkled with love when he looked away from the window as if he had stolen it from all of the stars above.
2006-12-14 08:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Mystic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As he looked away from the window, his eyes sparkled with love.
2006-12-14 09:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by sexyblakk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His eyes sparkled with love as he looked through the window.
hmm .. seems correct ,,well i can make these sentences any given time well i m able to do jst tht..establish nothing. practically a failure eversince born c yaa
2006-12-14 08:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by TheEntrepreneur 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
filled with hope that soon he would get closer to her hart with a smile of happiness wen she unwrap hes gift to her. and for the first time know that anonymously some body cared for her in ways that only a lost love would understand. he would shares that moment like a father treasure's hes baby's first steps
2006-12-14 08:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by kiara A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Improve the sentence by hitting delete and starting again...
2006-12-14 08:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if you put yourself in the characters' place it would help. Even if you have to literally get up and act it out. Then you would know what the chacracter would say because you would "feel" it.
2006-12-14 08:38:33 · answer #9 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friend: why are you doing this, when [she] does not return your love?
his face was turned away so she cudnt see his expression, but could hear the deep emotion in his words. "bcs i love her.."
He placed the small carefully wrapped present in her hands and smiled sadly, with his hands in his pockets, he walked towards the wintry night.
2006-12-14 08:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by egaboo23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋