he loses his temper very easily,dont get me wrong not all the time ,but when he does he throws stuff and for example rams the pc.
i am a single parent and have been separated from his father since he was a baby.this worrys me as i know boys in single parent households go off the rails easier.is this just hormones ?or does he need strong male role models?
2006-12-14 00:21:45 · 12 answers · asked by gigi 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
As the mother of four boys a strong male roll model doesn't hurt, it doesn't have to be the father or even some filling in for the father. What about cub scouts? or is there a grandfather, uncle, cousin?
THAT SAID....
It sounds like something under the surface is going on.... I don't think it's the male role model thing. Is something bothering him?
Perhaps something at school? It could be a stage or the holiday season or something. If it continues speak with his pediatrician maybe he needs someone to talk to? Talk to his teacher and see if they have noticed anything at school?
Ages & Stages is a great book that helps know what is normal and how long stages last.
The fact you are worried shows you are a good parent.
Kudos to you, just keep your eyes open see if you can see what triggers it. Ramming the PC and throwing things is NOT exceptable at any stage. Speak to him let him know if it continues he will lose....... for ......... amount of time. All children will test boudries and need to learn there are consequences for our behavior. Everyone gets mad but it doesn't mean we can behave in that manner. Try to find postive ways for him to express his frustration.
A GREAT source for information on raising boys is
http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/
Perhaps he knows that you are worried about raising him without a father? Could he be worried about you?
Feel free to email anytime, moms of boys have to stick together!
Our boys are ages 17, 13, 12,10
2006-12-14 00:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not normal for all nine year old boys, but definitly not abnormal either. My nine year old has had the same problem and he has a father home every day. The thing is you just have to be consistent and firm about it. Of course children have to be able to vent their anger but they have to learn ways to do it. There are a lot of excercise that can help, such as controled breathing and such. Honestly though, with my son, it just came down to if he lost his temper to the point of any kind of violence, he lost everything. Literally I stripped his room down to bare walls and a mattress for a week. My issue with it is mainly that I have three boys so I cannot let violence become acceptable, they are very likely to be stronger than me in a few years, and that type of thing can escalate easily. As for a role model, that's never a bad thing, and if you want to find a good one for him get him involved in the big brother program or even boy scouts. Don't stress too much, you have all of my respect as a single mother, that has to be the hardest job in the world but it will work out and your boy will turn out well.
2006-12-14 00:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by S J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I too am the single mom of a nine year old. Your son's behavior sounds pretty normal, this is the time when they really want to stretch their independence "wings" yet also still need you. And as a boy, there are some things that he may feel uncomfortable talking to you about since you are a woman. He should be encouraged to express his frustration in ways that aren't damaging to things/people: writing, talking, shooting hoops, etc.
I have found that having men in my son's life also helps. My brothers and boyfriend don't parent my son but do offer a guys point of view and a break for him so that he knows there are people to turn to instead of me.
Good luck!
2006-12-14 02:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by sweetk8sassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was the same way for awhile. She would throw tantrums to get what she wanted or to get attention. When she would throw the tantrums I would just walk away even if I was in a store or home. I did not let her see that her behavior was affecting me in any way. Then later she stopped having tantrums she started acting out to get my attention. So I signed her up for cheerleading so that she coulb burn off some excess energy and then I bought some board games and we have family game night and we also turn the tv off and talk of put on some cds and dance. And I was a single parent for awhile and it seems that her problems got worse after I got married. But I found that just spending time with her rather it is going grocery shopping, or cooking dinner she enjoys it because it is her time. And when she destroys things in her room I leave them destroyed and when she wants to play with them she can't and she has to do chores in order to receive replacement items
2006-12-14 01:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by boroneomania 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do think he needs a strong male role model. But I'm sure you are doing the best you can too. I think what you can do right now, is talk to his pediatrician.... and sometimes there are even child psychologists that work in the same practice as the pediatrician... and you could talk to them, and maybe even set up an appointment for your son. Sometimes a child just needs to talk to someone about how they are feeling.... maybe someone other then their parent.
2006-12-14 00:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by KSmom24 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would get him into a sport or activity after school. that will help get him the male role model that he needs and it will teach him respect. tell him when he is doing these bad things that he is too old to be acting like a baby. tell him that he is supposed to be your big boy and he needs to act that way. if he still keeps it up take things away from him. and don't give it back until his behavior improves. good luck.
2006-12-14 00:27:10 · answer #6 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He absolutley needs strong male rolemodels. You are the best at what you are but he needs a male influnce in his life. Also, (and here the PC police will rain dow on me) don't be afraid to discipline him. Part of what he's doing is trying to find his boundaries. Kids need this to feel safe. Not doing anything causes him to keep pushing to see how far he's allowed to go. Give him PLENTY of love and PLENTY of boundaries and good male rolemodels. He'll feel safe and loved! Good Luck!
2006-12-14 00:33:42 · answer #7 · answered by digheyzeus 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should be asking your M.D. about your son since this is clearly a problem. It could also be a disciplinary problem. If he does not have punishment for his bad behavior then he may feel it is acceptable. I have 2 boys and I found my first son had anger management problems so we got him help and he is so much better.
2006-12-14 00:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by chilly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him get away with it. Punish him for throwing tantrums. You must also keep in mind that he is pre-puberty and his bodies chemistry is changing, so a series of tantrums is ok, but if he does it every time he gets mad, it needs to be controlled.
2006-12-14 00:36:26 · answer #9 · answered by golden rider 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is, he is just going through a phase
2006-12-14 00:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by summerglow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋