im 14 and cant stand it anymore what can i do???

Question

my step-dad just left my mom and i for a 19 year old and hes 37(i know REALLY nasty) but my mom goes to school and works everyday along with me too, her bills are over 4,000 a month an income that is less than 3,000 not including groceries, my little sister has hospiltal bills that need to be paid and i just got braces off which still needs to be paid, im 14 and i work for my mom's boss in a warehouse 12 dollars a hour and i work from 3:30p.m.- 12:00 am and i go to school everyday i dont get much sleep and its so bad that my teachers let me sleep in class and catch me up during lunch, i have no time for my own life i had to quit the band i was in we made a little money but not enough, and i dont get to see my friends anymore we cant reach my step-dad for child support and im doing everything i can to save money, but i cant take it anymore im so tired ALL the time and it causes me to be in pain but im not sure how, what can i do to help save money and get more sleep???

i know it isnt right but MY dad not my lil sis's increased the child support that he was paying for me but it isnt much because his job isnt the greatest

o and im 16 not 14(little typo)

Answer 1

sweetness, your situation is bleak. Pray hard for a miracle, in the mean time, Tell your mother this pace is killing you,and you don't know how long you will last.

my heart goes out to you.

Answer 2

Wow, you're a treasure, your mother must be so thankful! I agree with the others who replied, talk to your mother and let her know how you feel, find someone like the school councillor to talk to about it, you need to talk to someone. Also, that is a lot of expenses, your mother should be looking at her priorities right now, and thinking "survival" not "comfort", I know that's a hard thing to do, (meybe it's medical bills that push the expenses so high?) if the expenses that are so big are medical, there is not much you two can do except talk to the people you owe, all of them, and tell them you are working on it, they might be able to help, might not, but it's important that you try to work with them, otherwise you could lose end up being sent to collections or worse. Aside from that, start cutting back, no extras, buy cheap cleansers, groceries are a big one, learn to get by on a little. There are websites that can show you how to be frugal, do a search on Yahoo using "frugal meals" or "cheap groceries", do a little reading, it can pay off a lot! Hang in there, you can survive this, you seem like a tough cookie. Good luck!

Answer 3

14 is a really hard age-alot of hormones and body changes...and it seems like the whole world is against you. Believe it or not, it will get better! The first thing you need to do is take a step back and really look at what is going on around you. What are your parents saying when they are yelling at you? Is it something you can fix? At this age you have to learn to listen to what they are saying because they are trying to train you how to be an adult, and most of the time teenagers don't want to hear it so parents yell. About the adoption part-you are very, very lucky! Your parents got to choose you instead of being stuck with whatever kid they would have had naturally. Just because you are adopted doesn't mean your parents aren't your real parents. They raised you and probably love you beyond belief, and are trying to get you through a tough time. Talk to them, tell them your problems and fears, and above all, try to stay calm while you are doing that. You'll be amazed at what you learn from them! Good luck

Answer 4

the honor system doesnt work, thats for sure.

I think its sad that you carry such a burden of the child support and money issue. as much as you hear fathers complain about the money, it honestly isnt enough to pay squat. but you already know that... the hard way. i am sorry to see it effect yet another kid. the men just dont get that.

find out where local food banks are. its usually a church. this will help free up money for other bills.

here are some links for your mom. take the time and search each one for everything it says and different subjects. it'll help. with the divorce ones, just click on the state you live in and find the child support section.

the last three are to help all of you...

Answer 5

You are working to many hours and whomever is employing you could be in violation of the labor laws and standards set forth!

Maybe your MOM's lifestyle needs to be changed. Priorities need to be made---cut the cable, home phone, internet---scale back and be put on a budget.

You're 16 yrs old and shouldn't have to be worrying about your MOM's bills etc and shouldn't have to be working such long hours either!

Your Step father is not responsible for your support---the court order probably states YOUR own DAD is responsible for your support---and the child support he pays is calculated by the courts to be approximately 25-27% of your DAD's Gross annual income-

Below are the child labor laws:
A minor less than 16 years of age may not work:

before 7 a.m. or after 9 p.m.* with the exception of a newspaper carrier;

for more than 40 hours a week or more than eight hours per 24-hour period*, except in agriculture;

on school days during school hours, without an employment certificate issued by the school district superintendent (181A.05)

*During the school year, federal law restricts hours to no later than 7 p.m., no more than three hours a day and not more than 18 hours a week.

*State Law: 16- and 17-year-old high school students may not work after 11 p.m. on evenings before school days or before 5 a.m. on school days. With written permission from a parent or guardian, these hours may be expanded to 11:30 p.m. and 4:30 a.m. No other limit is set for 16- and 17-year-olds.

Answer 6

Dont Do Anything You Will Regret Later!!! Take A Breather.... I Know You Are Overworked And Tired Right Now But Everything Will Turn Out Okay.

Hope You Fall In To A Big Fortune

Answer 7

Let me start by saying.. I think you are a very toughtful and brave young woman.. Helping your mom and putting up with work as such young age is very impresing!!!! Yeah life is not fair sometimes,and the worst thing is that is always going to be like that because is life.. But sweety if working is making you too tired to study you need to cut your work hours a bit so that you have a chance of making it and educating your self to really get a job that pays money..Im sure your mommy will understand this,but for real I think you are a very well minded young woman, I have a son just a bit older than you and he had to work to help out too and Im so very proud of him and Im sure your mom is very proud of you too.Im so sorry about your step dad but you keep watching and learning the situation with your parents are real all over the world somebody is always leaving somebody,that also is part of life and If your strong for your mom and your little sister Im sure by the time things like this happend to you when your grow,you will be ready and not afraid of anything because you will be experience, hang in there girl and keep up the good work; my advice is try to cut some hours down from work I'm sure your mom can handle it.. have you talk to her about this? she will understand. God bless you. and good luck.

Answer 8

I am so sorry!!! No you shouldn't have to worry about this at your age. Talk to your mother. You feel rejection and am grieving the loss of your step-dad. It wasn't your fault. It is his fault!!!! You need to talk to your mother and tell her how you feel. Maybe she can adjust your family's lifestyle to decrease your monthly expenses or maybe she sees a quicker end to your financial problems than you do. The hospital bills can wait. Don't worry about those. Your education is very important. You need your sleep in order to get a good education. It sounds like your mother is trying her best to get more education to better herself. I am proud of her. It is very hard for her too. I am so glad you are being so supportive and helping her out. You are working too much. That needs to stop. It is not right that you work 8 1/2 hours a day after school. It is also illegal.

Talk to your mother and if you don't feel comfortable talking to her, find someone else you do feel comfortable with. Do you go to church? If so, your pastor or maybe one of your friends mother. Find someone fast.

Good luck

Answer 9

My heart really goes out to you. First of all, you need to report that stepfather to your local child support enforcement agency. I don't care what anyone says, They CAN find him! Most agencies have websites you can visit for information.

Secondly, I don't think it's legal for you to work that much. I understand that you need the money- believe me!- but you're literally going to work youself to death or become very ill and that would do more harm in the log run than good!

Has your mother tried to apply for welfare? If not, she should. I just want you to know that I'm praying for you and hope that things get brighter for you soon. And please don't lose hope. As morbid as it sounds, things can only get so dark before the light is foced to shine. Stay well!~

Love, Cindi

Answer 10

Number one it is a pretty swanky life style to cost 4000.00 a month for maintenance, sounds like you all need to sit down and see what monthly expense you can eliminate. Number 2, you should not be trying to pay the bills, you are just a kid and should be concentrating on your school work, not on a job. I would say, work out a budget, cut out expense that is really not needed.

Answer 11

Hunny I feel for you. I know your life is hard right now, but remember what doesn't kill you makes your stronger. God won't put more on you than you can handle. Your doing alot right that most kids your age wouldn't. You are a very mature and caring person. I'll pray for you and your family and that things will get better.

Good Luck!