OMG been with him like 13 months now, and he gets upset about the clothes i wear, i mean i dont even dress in revealing clothes AT ALL, i dress very smart and sophisticated and i do follow fashion trends and take pride in my appearence..
im 20 years old and i go to uni, but hes 5 years older and works, so i see him after uni, BUT if im wearing say a top thats showing a bit of my neck, he will say "wtf are you wearing" and tell me its too low cut and im attention seeking!
Even if im wearing a knee length skirt with tights/leggings he will get angry saying that men have been staring at me and that i love it! when i couldnt care less!!
im sick of his controlling ways and he gets jealous if i socialise with friends at uni, but im not allowed to go out with my friends or anything otherwise he will get angry and jealous!! i have no life at all anymore, BUT he throws it in my face by telling me that he has stopped going out too. what shall i do?
2006-12-13 23:00:11 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yeah i have no friends anymore,i cut all my friends off and changed my number for him! and i told him that i love and never cheat on him, i am always reassuring him but it doesnt work!!
2006-12-13 23:24:56 · update #1
Hunni! I think you know what to do by the fact that you are asking this question. He is controlling you and making YOU feel like the guilty party. He has serious control/jealousy/insecurity issues.
Please, please, please leave him, change your number if you have to. He will not change, and will only get worse. You are still young and hot---don't let him drag you down to his level.
I just read some of your previous questions and OMIGOD!!! I cannot believe you are still with him.
You need to sit down and think about what exactly you are getting out of this relationship. You are clearly distressed by his behaviour towards you. What is the thing that is keeping you with him? Relationships AREN'T supposed to be like this. He doesnt want you spending time with friends cos he KNOWS it's not normal, and he knows they will help you see that he is a loser, and you just might work up the courage to leave him.
My humble opinion is that you fell in love, and since then he has BRAINWASHED you into thinking the relationship/he is great. Stop and Think objectively for a minute.
How do you know he isnt married or with someone else? Maybe he is so suspicious of you cos he has something to hide. It is not normal to not know where someone works after a year of being with them.
I know right now you love him and dont want to end things, but ALL THE SIGNS are there telling you to do just that. The more embroiled you get and the more you ignore the signs the more you wil get scr ewed.
Wake up, he doesnt value you as a person and is using you and you deserve so much more. He will destroy you if you let him.
Speak to someone about this, eg family, friends, counsellor.
Hugs, x
2006-12-13 23:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Abaya is a traditional Arabian Islamic clothing dress , designed in full body length. Unlike other Islamic clothing Abaya is mostly made of black fabric embroidered sometimes on the front and sleeves, with sleeves snap loose and open. Though, Abaya is known to be common wear for Muslim women in the Gulf countries and Saudi , they are now gaining popularity in many other parts of the Arab World and else where.
P.S. If he is not a Muslim fundamentalist, then he needs some therapy
2006-12-13 23:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really needs us to tell you what to do. What not to do is stay with him. Even though you love him his controlling ways will get worse as he knows how you feel about him and this gives him power over you (so he thinks).
If you decide to stay with him for good his control will spill over into everything believe me and you will end up feeling your life is not you own. And this will lead to unhappiness and misery.
I suggest that you try talking to him and explain that you do not like his controlling ways and that if he cannot accept the way you dress then it is him who has the problem and not you.
He will not change believe me. My husband once spent the night in a hotel (rather than coming home) because he did not like what I was wearing when I met him off of the plane after being away for a week.
Oh me we women are so fallible at times. But you are young so tell him to bogg off he is not the one for you.
2006-12-13 23:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's behaving this way because you're letting him get away with it. You need to get tough with him and tell him whats what. Next time he tries to stop you going out and enjoying your life, tell him that you're seeing your friends whether he likes it or not. Tell him you love him and you will see him tomorrow night! He won't like it but you're at uni, you should be out every night and having fun because trust me, when you finish uni and go to work, you'll be too tired to do stuff like that all the time! Next time he makes comments about what you're wearing tell him you want to look nice for him and if he doesn't like you showing a bit of neck, maybe he should go out with someone his mothers age! He's obviously very insecure and jealous but you do need to get tough with him because he's pushing you away and lets face it, he's ruining your life.
2006-12-13 23:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's too insecure, and sounds to me that this is an unhealthy relationship. Watch it girl, and be careful. He is too controlling and unfortunately you are allowing it to continue. This is abuse, whether he has physically assaulted you or not, and you should get out!!!! Things will get worse before they get better. You can never make him believe you so stop trying. When you have to eliminate everyone from your life and make him the only thing you have, that is bad. He has two lives to live, yours and his own, don't give your life away. Take it from someone who has stood in your shoes, and eventually I wore the bandages to to match!
2006-12-13 23:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thought for a second that i was hearing myself think, Ive got exactly the same problem! I have NO friend anymore, dont ever go out, when Im 5 minutes late coming back from work im accused of seeing someone behind his back! But I love him so much, and dont even look at other guys!! Ive got 3 numbers on my phone and he checkes it every day!! When I wear anything he thinks is revealing he says that he is not good enough for me anymore! Every one is going to tell you to leave him, but what do they know, do they know that we really do love them? Just wish I could make him trust me more... He is so insecure... I dont know what to do any more... Just wish I could show him how much I truly do love him so that he could just believe me!! Its so frustrating!!! Should we leave them? Are they going to change?
2006-12-13 23:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by Immortal 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What a control freak.
JERK!
You should NOT go out with him anymore.
Tell him the truth, that you are sick of his controlling ways, that he is being jealous over nothing.
If he loves you, he will understand and change for you.
But if he gets angry and puts the fault all on you, dump him.
Good luck, girl! (:
2006-12-13 23:12:02 · answer #7 · answered by Jolene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know ths situation very well indeed and I cannot stress how important it is that you leave him as soon as you safely can. I say 'safely' advisedly, for you should be aware that he is likely not to let you go without a fight. He will try everything in his power to keep you as he is motivated not by real love but by control. You should use support structures such as friends and family to give you the confidence to get away from him as soon as possible. Bear in mind that men like that gains their power through constantly undermining you and eroding your self-esteem, but be guided by your own common sense and remain strong.
2006-12-13 23:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a control freak on your hands. If he is the guy who gets set easily like you mentioned, get out of the relationship now. Unless you like to be microcontrolled where you just about have to dress up like a nun when you walk out of your house, then you are not being trusted very much by your guy. If he won't let you see your friends and go out, then he is very damaging to your social life. Your life shouldn't be totally revolved around him. You just going to have to ask yourself, is this the kind of relationship I want to be in on a long-term basis?
2006-12-13 23:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him!!!!
He is controlling you because he wants you to himself and no one else!
Eventually he will force you to stay inside and wear what he wants you to wear. You will have no friends because he will be threatened by them, and no social life because you will be inside all the time.
Get out now before he ruins your life!
If you love him you could try and talk to him about it, he is controlling you because he is insecure and feels that you will leave him when another bloke takes interest in you, you need to reassure him that you are not going anywhere and maybe then he will let you wear what you like.
But said i said be careful because if you let him keep controlling you, you will end up hating your life!
2006-12-13 23:18:04 · answer #10 · answered by Spacysam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋