I believe I'm a very nice person and I like to help others. I've made a rule that I will help if it doesn't interfer or take away in any way from my daughter and myself.
My neighbor got mad at me. She called me at 7:30 a.m. and asked me to drive her daughter to school because she had to drive her boyfriend to work. Her daughter had to be at school at 7:45 a.m. my little girl was still sleeping. I explained that I needed requests like this to be made the day before - and she got mad and hung up. It's been 1 week and she hasn't made conversation with me nor will I make an attempt to remedy this ironic behavior. I feel hurt that she can "dismiss" me so easily as I thought more of our relationship. Why do I feel so guilty? I don't like it.
2006-12-13 22:32:47 · 13 answers · asked by hot single mom 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
**** her. you worry about your obligations first, then if you have time, help someone else.
2006-12-14 04:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its good to be a nice person, and help others where you can, but sometimes you have to draw the line. In this case you have nothing to feel guilty about, as you need to look after your daughter. Thats reason enough to say no.
2006-12-14 06:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by Michael T 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people are manipulators. The woman is in a snit to pay you back for not accommodating her. Be glad the woman is not a screamer. I know people who scream and throw tantrums until they get what they want.
You have no reason to feel guilty. I suggest you wait until she gets over it. If she does not, look at it this way: you won't have to deal with her unkind behavior in the future.
2006-12-14 06:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by regerugged 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see two possibilities here. One is that your neighbor may be suffering from a case of arrested development, emotionally "stuck" in some phase of childhood where what *I* need is all that could possibly matter. Immaturity in other adults is one of my life's most frequent aggravations. The other possibility is that she was having some sort of issue with her boyfriend and was already agitated when she called you, was unable to handle the added stress of being told "no," and you became the scapegoat for her inability to control her own emotions. In either case, your policy is reasonable, your response was appropriate, and it sounds like you've handled the situation properly. The issue with her boyfriend may have gotten worse as a result of her inability to find him a ride to work, and she can't deal with facing you because she can't deal with her own emotions stemming from that.
Your feeling guilty about it is a common response by someone who feels compassion and a strong parenting instinct toward those who can't seem to handle life on their own. I have the same reaction toward some of my less-mature students who behave inappropriately or can't seem to get their act together. I tend to try to "rescue" such people from themselves and the situations they create with their own incompetence. (My wife calls it my "Messiah Complex," which makes me laugh at myself when I recognize it.) You and I probably both need to work on letting people suffer the consequences of their own immature actions, because it may be exactly what they need to help them grow up and deal. I wish you all the best in that endeavor.
2006-12-14 07:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that she can't get her life together. I just wouldn't bother with her anymore. She's playing you for a fool and using you as her own tool. Only she can change herself and her lifestyle. Don't bother trying to change a person's attitude. Only then will she realize that she has been in the wrong all this time.
2006-12-14 06:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by Soggy Waffles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is obviously a self-centered person. It's not worth worrying over. Sometimes it's good when things happen like this. Kind of separates the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
2006-12-14 06:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by blue.green_eyes 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Such requests from neighbours come because u have been entertaining them. It further seems that u do care for the neighbour and hence u r unhappy. If that is so, u shud have gone to drop her daughter and drop ur daughter after coming back. In case, it was not possible u shud have explained it to her.
Do not create selfish friendships.
2006-12-14 06:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
She may be feeling angry with herself for asking you in the first place. Don't
take it personally. You really don't know what she is feeling. Let it go. Things
have a way of working themselves out. Just go about your life and smile.
2006-12-14 06:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by sunnymommy 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell your neighbor to find a boyfriend with a car.
2006-12-14 06:46:59 · answer #9 · answered by Debra D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, i would either wait a little longer to see if she begins talking to you again, or otherwise, i would try to talk to her, ask her why she hasnt been talking to you lately, etc...
2006-12-14 06:38:23 · answer #10 · answered by Another Guy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋