I was going out with my ex for a year and she dumped me a month ago. Because she wants to be single, and test other waters. SHe did say that she still really likes me, and would not want to go out with another guy. I know she loves me deep inside and is just confused. But nothing i say to her makes her want to be in a relationship with me. We are kinda on and off at the moment, but i get so jealous everytime she flirts with another guy that i end up fighting with her and pushing her even further away. i haven't been with any other girls since i've been single because i only want her. What can i do??
2006-12-13 21:34:38 · 24 answers · asked by damo_12456 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't make people love you. MOVE ON!
2006-12-13 21:36:24 · answer #1 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Skip the drama, lose the pity routine, give this person some time and space---you cannot demand or make anyone do anything---you are not the boss or the king or whatever.Sounds like you better back off pronto---you have done enough damage---try finding another girl and rethink how you relate to them---if you don't have anything nice to say---keep quiet. You need to find a job or a hobby to fill the time so you have something to do.Isn't there something else to talk about?Find a good book on relationship building--it will come in handy. Merry xmas
2006-12-13 21:41:13 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore her,date other women. You pretty much answered your own question,"pushing her even further away".
Well you need to do the opposite.
Jealousy is a very strong emotion.
You might find by dating other women that she wasn't "all that "
I had a similar situation,and the only time she would call me is when she was not getting along with her new "dates",as she called them.
So if you want to be the fall guy,the "backup" boyfriend,then continue doing what you are doing and be miserable.
I have delved into work,and my other hobbies and taking care of my own business. I have found that I have saved lots of money and personal satisfaction that I am not being used anymore.
Good luck!
2006-12-13 22:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by Dfirefox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best advice, don't give up and don't drive her further away. I've been the girl in that situation before, and i said the same things to my boyfriend but all i really wanted was him to wait for me. Give her time, never talk bad about her even if you get mad or jealous, and don't ever try to make her jealous, act like you want her back but are okay if you don't get her back. Eventually she will see that being single isn't as much fun as having someone there for her, and she'll come back. Also don't let her walk all over you either, give her space and let her know that since you aren't dating you don't have to do certain things anymore, BUT that you do still want to be with her. good luck!
2006-12-13 21:39:47 · answer #4 · answered by Andii 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make anyone feel something they do not especially when love is concerned. True love is wild, unconforming, selfless and selfish all at the same time. It cannot be controlled very well, control and love just never seem to work out. In a relationship the person who tries to enact control usually ends up killing the love the other person involved once had for them. When a love leaves you and you feel broken inside and you want it to stop and it doesn't just proves my point even more. It is there or it is not, for you it may be for her it may not. Its up to her to listen to her heart and what it tells her about how she feels for you. If the love is true it will not go away, and it may take time but it will surface no matter how hard she tries to lie to herself or push it down. Love just simply is uncontrollable when it is in fact true love, and if you heart is telling you its her and only her for life then you wait, hope and pray. You wait because it leaves you with no other options, the ball is in her court. Keep your head up!
-NmD!
2006-12-13 21:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not make anyone love you. Either its there or its not. You seem very smart to know that fighting about it will only push her away. Most of us go through life "looking" for true love. Someone that "truely" will love us. So just love her, let her know you do, without pushing away. Let her see that your love is true and unconditional despite her flaws and mistakes. If she loves you "truely", that way, she will find it and figure it out. Don't push her away in the meantime.
There is a saying that is pretty deep. "You don't pick your friends, they pick you". Meaning you can pick anyone you want to love or be your friend, but unless they pick you, they are not your friend...no matter how much you are to them.
I hope things work out for you. Happy holidays.
2006-12-13 21:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by pofdog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and turn away. Start a new life and it appears that will not include your ex. If she is flirting with other guys why hang around. I am sure that someone is waiting out there just for you. Be patient and be happy. Cheer up! It happens a lot, not just to you.
Enjoy Life.
2006-12-13 21:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by david l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well the rational part of me is saying give hr space, leave hher alone and she'll start to miss you and want you back, but then theres my minipulative side(brought on by a major argument-sorry,lol) and thats saying, flirt with somene else- see how she likes it. When she sees you doing this she'll realise that she actually wants to be with you and doesnt need to "test other waters".
2006-12-13 21:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to move on. She has her eye on someone else . You are no longer speaking her "Love Language". If you want to figure out what happened maybe by reading. "5 Love Languages" you will understand.
This book may help you in a future relationship. There are other women out there who will adore you and treat you with love and respect.
2006-12-13 21:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by iamhappyfourme 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if your ex dint wants to be with you than is not a thing you can do about it you just have to get jealous try just one day at a time
2006-12-13 21:42:03 · answer #10 · answered by EVA J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing u could do to make her love u again.
go out, find a new girl and move on
2006-12-13 21:38:49 · answer #11 · answered by Tartlettes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋